It's finished! Finally, you are freed from vague guesses and nagging doubts, now you know for sure - THIS is Pregnancy. Long-awaited or unexpected, planned or accidental, first or next. At the very beginning, like early spring. You wish that the coming nine months will bring peace and joy to your soul. What if a wonderful dream does not come true? And the persistent reminder of others “it’s bad for you to worry” does not help get rid of contradictory, anxious thoughts and feelings.
What to do with the crisis of change that worries a pregnant woman
The first months of pregnancy are a time of revolutionary changes not only in a woman’s physiology, but also in her psychology. In the inner, hidden space of her “I”, the space of another person appeared, whose existence must not only be taken into account, but perhaps the whole life must be rebuilt, all plans must be changed. Not everyone can accept these changes unconditionally. Even if the child is desired and long-awaited, the enormity of the accomplished event captures all the woman’s thoughts, making her worry: “How will my life develop next? How will the pregnancy proceed? What will happen to my career? Will I be able to provide my baby with a decent future? Will I be a good mother? Familiar questions, aren't they? Such mental anguish can cause not only a feeling of fatigue and irritability, but even cause toxicosis or the threat of miscarriage.
Psychologist's advice.
First, don't try to solve all problems at once. Postpone them indefinitely, and perhaps some of them will be resolved without your participation. And in general, pregnancy is a unique time when you can rightfully allow yourself not to react to life’s problems. And not feel guilty for such irresponsible behavior. Remember that more than all the material benefits in the world, the child needs your attention, understanding and love.
Secondly, the most important thing now is to realize and accept your new state. Give yourself permission to be pregnant. Accepting your new state means accepting the appearance of a child in your life and learning to understand his needs. Indulge your little weaknesses - be it the desire to lie down in the middle of the day or buy yourself some delicacy. Let pregnancy enter your life not as a time of prohibitions, but as a time of new opportunities. A statement like “I won’t be able to wear my favorite skinny jeans” can be replaced with: “I’m finally updating my wardrobe!” It is enough to change your point of view to get a taste for change.
How to deal with irritability during pregnancy
Pregnancy makes a woman emotionally vulnerable, prone to anxiety, and more sensitive to negative experiences. It seems that the reason for frustration is insignificant, but the eyes are “wet”, and nothing makes you happy. Many women are haunted by the feeling that you are “trapped” by incessant nausea, fatigue that has come from somewhere, and constant irritability. Doctors explain this unstable emotional state by rapid hormonal changes occurring in the body. Only understanding that such a state is natural and quite physiological does not make this difficult period easier for a woman.
Psychologist's advice.
Increased irritability is a signal to the expectant mother that she needs to learn to relax. This valuable skill will come to the rescue not only during pregnancy or at the time of childbirth, but will also have a positive impact on your life in general. The easiest way to relax is to turn on calm music, lie down, get comfortable, and focus on your breathing. Take a deep, calm breath and slowly, relaxed exhale. Imagine that with each exhalation comes relaxation and peace. By the way, moderate physical activity is an excellent remedy for the blues.
What can nervous stress lead to during pregnancy?
As we can see, the fact of pregnancy itself is extremely stressful for the body. But besides this, women periodically encounter troubles at work, and discord in their personal lives is also possible. All this does not contribute to peace of mind and provokes irritation, nervous fatigue, insomnia, and constant stress. However, being nervous during pregnancy is harmful and strictly prohibited . Every woman should know that the consequences of stress can be very sad:
- In the early stages of pregnancy, when the fetus is still very weak, severe stress and a constant state of anxiety can lead to miscarriage.
- A child whose mother worries and cries a lot during pregnancy is twice as likely to have developmental delays than children whose mothers were emotionally calm.
- A high level of anxiety in a pregnant woman affects the quality of sleep - the unborn baby will wake up a lot and cry more often, which further aggravates the mother’s nervousness.
- Strong emotional stress, especially in the first trimester, leads to the release of large amounts of adrenaline into the blood . Under its influence, vasoconstriction occurs and the baby will receive less nutrients and oxygen.
- The occurrence of a stressful situation and a woman’s irritability during pregnancy leads to an increased risk of heart disease in the baby. If the expectant mother had to get scared or freak out while carrying the fetus, then there is a possibility of an increase in the level of cortisol (in medicine it is called the “stress hormone”), which can subsequently lead to problems in the cardiovascular system of the newborn, and cortisol also contributes to the formation of excess glucose in blood, the consequences of which are oxygen starvation.
- As a result of research, it was proven that nervous experiences in the last stage of pregnancy were often the cause of asymmetry in the baby’s arms, legs, elbows, and fingers.
- Stress during pregnancy provokes negative changes in the fetal nervous system, which directly affects memory, perception, and thinking. Such children are often susceptible to mental retardation.
- Strong feelings and fear during pregnancy lead to excitability and fearfulness of the unborn baby, his passivity, inattention, and poor self-control. Such children are more susceptible to depression than others, cry constantly and are more often treated with antidepressants.
- It is also extremely harmful to be nervous and very upset in the second and third trimesters of pregnancy - there is a high probability of premature birth.
- Strong emotional stress can affect the presentation of the fetus - which causes difficulties during the birth process.
Experiencing any negative emotions during pregnancy is very harmful and has negative consequences for the future person.
While in the womb, the child begins to feel the mother’s condition almost from the first months, and subsequently hear sounds and voices.
As soon as a woman finds out about pregnancy, she must understand why she should not be nervous, be aware of the possible consequences and strive to provide herself and her unborn baby with comfortable conditions, peace and positivity. We will tell you how to do this below.
Increased sensitivity in pregnant women
Even if before pregnancy a woman had a calm disposition, now she can easily panic from her doctor’s abstract reasoning about the complications of pregnancy or from an eccentric friend’s story about her childbirth. Scenes from certain films or television news, a harsh remark from a boss or a fellow passenger on the subway can bring you to tears. Don’t be afraid to give vent to your emotions - cry, complain to someone, the main thing is not to push dark thoughts and resentment into the depths of your soul. Such increased impressionability is simply a reminder that it’s time to change your impressions.
Psychologist's advice.
Remember that there is another side to your impressionability - it is an opportunity to look at the world in a new way. It’s as if during pregnancy a woman becomes a little like a child who looks at the world with interest and surprise. Take this opportunity to enjoy the finer aspects of life. Through your impressions, you convey information about the world around you to your baby. Your impressions tell him whether the world is good or evil, colorful or dull, cheerful or sad. So try to get out into nature more often, visit concert halls or museums.
How to overcome the feeling of loneliness that worries a pregnant woman
There are so many changes taking place in the soul of a pregnant woman that she may begin to feel very lonely in the whirlpool of new experiences. All the people around her have remained the same, only you are at the mercy of “pregnant feelings”. But at the same time, the experience of loneliness allows you to look deeper into your own soul, understand yourself, analyze your life experience, and possibly re-evaluate your life values.
Psychologist's advice.
Use loneliness for self-knowledge, but do not become too isolated, share your experiences with loved ones, consult with a psychologist, talk with other pregnant women. Nowadays there are many opportunities to communicate with “your own kind” - these include courses in psychological preparation for childbirth, and special groups for pregnant women in a swimming pool or sports complex, and even specialized stores organize lectures for pregnant women. And most importantly, start communicating with your child, because he is the closest person to you.
Misunderstanding from loved ones
The pregnancy period can give a new positive impetus to family relationships, or it can give rise to misunderstanding. But the most important thing for a woman is to receive support from her loved one. However, it is much more difficult for a man to get involved in the process of his wife’s pregnancy and become a “pregnant” dad. He has a hard time imagining that there is a little man growing inside your belly (by the way, not a stranger to him). A man is more likely to be concerned about your new quirks than about the specifics of your pregnancy. It is a rare representative of the stronger sex who talks with inspiration to the “tummy” or is touched by the shocks from its depths. But this does not mean that men are completely indifferent to the upcoming changes. They just experience “pregnancy” in their own way.
Psychologist's advice.
Take the trouble to unobtrusively educate your loved one about pregnancy. He needs simple, concrete information about what is happening at the moment. Ask him to go with you to the ultrasound. Some men, having seen with their own eyes their baby inside their tummy, completely change their attitude towards their wife’s pregnancy, as if convinced of the real existence of the baby. Use the pronoun “we” more often, this will be another sign that you are no longer alone. Unobtrusively tell your husband about how the baby behaved throughout the day. If at first there is no expected reaction, do not be upset and do not blame your husband for misunderstanding. It's just that many men don't express their emotions openly.
If you have a joint desire for your husband to be present at the birth, then he simply needs to undergo the appropriate training courses. And not at all so that he would not faint at the most inopportune moment. And so that from an uncertain witness, your husband becomes an active participant in the events (which he actually was at the dawn of your pregnancy). Not only will he be able to gently hold your hand, but he will also be able to give you a relaxing massage, remind you of proper breathing, and help you change positions. Such active participation in childbirth helps a man realize his paternity, and for a woman it is an indispensable support.
Stress during pregnancy: signs
Almost all expectant mothers experience stress during pregnancy to one degree or another. Both young girls expecting their first child and experienced mothers with many children are susceptible to it. The trigger for the development of stress is usually hormonal changes in the body. Practice shows that approximately half of women experience severe stress during pregnancy. How can you tell if a loved one is in a stressful state?
You may notice the following symptoms:
- Sleep disorders, insomnia
- Apathy, loss of interest in previously favorite activities
- Anxiety, a woman can think about hypothetical threats (war, natural disaster, illness) and experience them as real
- Nervousness, irritability, frequent tears
- Pressure changes, dizziness
- Sudden attacks of rapid heartbeat not associated with physical activity
- Feeling of hopelessness, melancholy
- Increased absent-mindedness, memory impairment
- Pain that cannot be explained medically
- Skin itching, rashes
The presence of 2-3 symptoms indicates the presence of stress. And the words “get yourself together, get busy, don’t think about it” don’t help . The expectant mother needs different support.
How to deal with a pregnant woman’s worries about the baby’s health?
Sometimes a pregnant woman begins with fear to go through all the risk factors that she has been exposed to since the beginning of pregnancy and think about how they will affect the child. Memories of drinking a glass of wine or taking aspirin when you were not yet aware of pregnancy, thoughts about the polluted air of your hometown or radiation exposure from the computer monitor on your desktop are used. You never know what else can affect the baby’s health. There are dangers here and there.
Psychologist's advice.
Do not exaggerate the degree of risk. Congenital defects are very rare. Think that unnecessary worry is much more harmful to your child than the mistakes you made. Don’t indulge in feelings of guilt, it’s better to find a way that can compensate for your “misses” - be it active walks in the park or a balanced diet or listening to classical music. Also, try to imagine more often how healthy, strong and beautiful your baby will be. Such fantasies have a very beneficial effect on the development of the baby.
Dealing with destructive thoughts and feelings
Destructive thoughts and feelings that a woman experiences after pregnancy loss can be directed both at herself and at others.
In relation to oneself, a feeling of guilt is formed, a feeling of being inferior, broken, empty, pathetic and even dirty.
In relation to others, a complex of reducing oneself develops, a false impression of condemnation from others, a lack of sympathy and understanding.
To overcome this condition it is necessary:
- communication with friends and acquaintances;
- expressing your emotions and feelings through painting, poetry, letters, journaling;
- forming a support group of people you trust (this could be close friends, relatives, professional psychologists).
It is very important not to ignore or hide these emotions from yourself, but to live through them and let them go. Be patient, give yourself as much time as you need.
