Mom, help! A Moscow psychologist told how to help a child survive the consequences of psychological trauma

PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA IS THE RESULT OF A POWERFUL NEGATIVE IMPACT ON THE PERSONALITY OF A PERSON, WHICH POWER WAS EXCESSIVE FOR THE PSYCHOLOGY.

The consequence of such a trauma can be depression, a deep deterioration in the general emotional background, increased irritability or, on the contrary, the appearance of indifference to external events, the appearance or intensification of fears, phobias... All this leads to a distortion of normal behavior, difficulty in communication processes, and temporary loss of performance.
In a word, psychological trauma is similar to any other: it is always pain that seeks to subjugate the whole person, his mood, behavior, desires and aspirations.

It should be understood that psychological trauma, especially childhood trauma, is a purely subjective phenomenon. The cause of such trauma in children and adolescents can be almost any trouble, failure, negative event, not to mention various accidents, sudden losses, grief. Whether this or that event will become truly traumatic and how deep the trauma will be, how quickly the child will be able to overcome its consequences - all this depends on many factors.

WHAT ARE THE MAIN CAUSES OF PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA IN CHILDREN?

Firstly, these are fears. Very often, psychological trauma develops against a background of fear. The stronger the fear, the more painful the child experiences the implementation of his scenario. An example is failure in an exam: for a child, it can mean the real collapse of his entire future life plan, built on hopes of success. This is what he feared most, and the trauma from such an event could last a lifetime. The “rejection” of a child by a certain group (at school, in a company) can have equally destructive consequences.

Psychological trauma can be caused by sudden changes in the usual environment and the course of things: moving to a new place of residence, moving to another school, the appearance of a new child in the family, forced separation from the family (hospitalization or a trip to a children's camp). Such events may require the child, in particular, to radically change his usual pattern of behavior - a task not everyone can do.

Conflicts with loved ones or between loved ones are very traumatic for children. Any conflict potentially carries with it trauma, but conflicts with loved ones have a particularly strong impact. Often they can lead to a situation in which the child is forced to make a choice between his equally dear mom and dad or parents, on the one hand, and grandparents, on the other. In any case, the need for such a choice between objects of equal value is very difficult for children to experience.

Divorce of parents can cause enormous harm to a child’s psyche. For a child, such an event means not just an “unpleasant” or even painful “episode,” but the collapse of an entire familiar and safe world.

Of course, violence is a source of psychological trauma, including in the family, at school, and in children's groups, where it can take the form of bullying.

Finally, we should also mention a reason such as physical pain experienced, for example, during a visit to the dentist.

Unlike physical injuries, psychological trauma is not always obvious and can be difficult to notice in time.

Physical symptoms include:

  • sleep disorders (difficulty falling asleep, nightmares),
  • enuresis, encopresis,
  • loss of appetite or, conversely, overeating,
  • psychosomatic phenomena (for example, constant complaints of abdominal pain, headaches),
  • increased fatigue,
  • muscle tension.

HOW CAN PARENTS HELP THEIR CHILD IF HE IS EXPERIENCED PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA?

The first thing that is absolutely necessary is to understand what happened. And for this you need to have constant and trusting contact with the child. Attention, love, a sincere desire to understand and sympathize - these are the main recipes. Give your children confidence in their abilities, teach them to cope with troubles, adversity and inevitable shocks.

But in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it can be difficult for parents to notice the appearance of the above or any other changes in the child’s condition and behavior. They pay attention to this and begin to sound the alarm, as a rule, when the situation has gone too far. But even having understood what the problem is, not always adults, always busy with their urgent matters, know what and how to help.

Therefore, we strongly recommend that you consult with specialists - child psychologists. Modern diagnostic and correction techniques make it possible to quickly and most effectively identify and overcome psychological trauma in children, removing the risks of developing long-term negative consequences.

Features of psychological rehabilitation of children who have survived violence

21.12.2020

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Violence against children by adults is a global problem that requires close attention. However, the consequences of abuse can be lifelong physical and mental health problems. Rehabilitation of children who have survived violence requires a special approach, she told employees of the ANO “CISM”

clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, senior lecturer at the Faculty of Psychology, ION RANEPA
Anna Zufman
.

– What features exist in the behavior of children who have experienced violence?

– There are practically no unambiguous markers, but there are a number of signs and features, the presence of which should alert: increased anxiety of the child, the presence of numerous fears, delays in mental and emotional development, speech disorders (for example, stuttering), fearfulness or, conversely, defiant , confrontational behavior (aggression, theft, deceit). The most characteristic signs can be considered symptoms of attachment disorders: distrust towards adults, the inability to establish warm relationships or, conversely, noticeable “clinginess”, demonstrative submission. Sometimes such children do not distinguish between “their” and “strangers” adults, and behave the same with their own parents and with unfamiliar teachers or social workers. A specialist - a psychologist, psychotherapist or teacher - can correctly diagnose such signs.

Often the consequences of violence experienced are manifested in children's games or the stories they tell: toy “heroes” or characters from fairy tales can speak about the experience much more eloquently than the child himself. Children themselves are often ashamed of the experience of violence, try to hide injuries (bruises, abrasions) or lie to others about the reasons for their occurrence. Often, a child who has been injured as a result of an accident or during play will happily recount the details over and over again (this way he helps himself cope with stress), is proud of the scars, and describes the circumstances under which he received them. A child victim of violence tends to hide his injuries; he often refuses to talk about how he received them, or tells vague, unconvincing stories.

However, the very idea that by some individual signs we can determine whether a child has been subjected to violence seems unsafe to me: on the one hand, the presence of all of the listed signs may be associated with some other problems in the family or children’s group, but the main thing is – the absence of these signs is not a guarantee that everything is fine with the child. It’s like with depression: sometimes it’s impossible to suspect from your behavior or appearance that something bad is happening.

– What types and characteristics of psychological violence exist?

– Traditionally, psychological violence includes various types of emotional pressure, intimidation, coercion, manipulation, blackmail, violation or disregard of human boundaries, sexualization, and systematic humiliation. There is no single classification, and some experts interpret this concept too broadly, including in this category any manifestations of anger or forcing a child to do something. This is not entirely correct. To determine whether a particular action constitutes violence against a child by an adult, it is important to understand that the relationship between a child and a parent is initially unequal; the parent has more power and more responsibility. It is the parent who is responsible for the safety or well-being of the child, and if he uses this power imbalance to his advantage or abuses the child's powerless position, we can consider his actions to be abuse.

– How does violence affect a child’s personal development?

– Often systematic violence (psychological, physical, sexual) causes disturbances in the pace of development (delayed development or uneven, “partial” development: in some areas the child is clearly ahead of his peers, and in others he lags behind age norms). Sometimes the developmental disorder manifests itself in the cognitive sphere: the child may demonstrate intellectual delay or sudden regression. When the skills he has already acquired are lost, he returns to some earlier forms of behavior, disturbances in attention, the ability to concentrate and assimilate information may appear, and in very young children speech may be impaired or lost.

But much more often we see disturbances in emotional and personal development. Children who have been exposed to violence may have symptoms of attachment disorders, problems establishing adequate relationships with other people, tendencies toward aggression or impaired emotional control, impulsivity, and a tendency to engage in deviant behavior. According to empirical research, it is violence experienced in childhood that can cause the development of borderline personality disorder. In addition, some researchers have linked experiences of childhood abuse to addiction and substance abuse in adults.

– Is there a chance to completely restore a child’s psyche after the trauma he has experienced?

– There is a chance, but in general, the effectiveness of working with such a child depends on many factors: the duration and systematicity of violent actions towards the child, the presence or absence of warm, supportive relationships with adults (because the presence of violence in the family does not always mean the absence of warm relationships, often these phenomena are combined with each other), the age at which the injury occurred, and the individual characteristics of each child. And even when taking into account all these factors, it is impossible to derive an unambiguous “formula” for success, because we are all different. Actions of the same intensity can cause different reactions not only in different people, but also in the same child, depending on what stage of development he is at and what age-related changes he is currently experiencing.

One way or another, the sooner therapeutic or psychocorrective intervention occurs, the greater the chance of avoiding long-term consequences. Most often, it is impossible to completely “act out” the situation and make it as if the child never had this experience, and some individual personality traits and isolated violations will remain, as will difficulties with trust and anxiety. But in this case, the specialist’s task is to help the child adapt to life with these characteristics, to compensate for them so that they do not interfere with his further development.

– How to work correctly with children who have experienced violence from adults (physical or psychological)?

– I think it is impossible to work with children who have experienced violence without first establishing a trusting relationship between the psychologist and the child. Sometimes this takes more time and effort than the correctional work itself. It is important to create an atmosphere of safety and mutual respect for the child, to teach him this, to create a space in which there is stability and inviolable boundaries.

And what methods and in what approach the psychologist will work in this case is no longer so important: it can be psychodynamic psychotherapy, and cognitive-behavioral therapy protocols, and non-directive play psychotherapy. In addition, for effective recovery, it is important to stop systematic violence against a child: if, for example, parents take a child to a psychologist, but at home they continue to beat or humiliate him, the work of a specialist may be useless.

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child safety teenagers

How to relieve stress?

A child is often a psychological mirror of his parents. To help a child, parents often need to start with themselves. The first thing you should do is try to understand your child: what is happening to him, why he behaves this way, how to help him get through a difficult period without psychological trauma.

If a person does not have psychological problems, then most stressful situations pass painlessly for him, because it has the resources to adapt quickly. Therefore, the main focus should be on prevention of psychological health. It is quite difficult to understand the causes of psychological problems; often parents simply lack knowledge. Although there are currently many books on psychology, in practice it is not always possible to get rid of irritability, anxiety, resentment, and fears on your own.1

If it is difficult to relieve stress on your own, then it is better not to let the situation take its course, not to accumulate stressful situations, but to seek help from a competent specialist in time. When they talk about stress relief, they mean getting rid of negative feelings and psychosomatic manifestations caused by these feelings and experiences. Russian scientist N.D. Linda created an effective method for getting rid of negative chronic negative conditions - emotional-imaginative therapy.

There are also various medications that help reduce the negative effects of stress. You should consult your doctor about taking any medications for stress, because... Only a specialist will be able to take into account the individual characteristics of the body.

Causes of neurasthenia


The development of the disease is usually preceded by a traumatic factor.
Mental trauma is a sensory reflection of some event in the child’s mind, which has a depressing effect on him, worries him and lasts for quite a long time. The most common reason for the development of neuroses in childhood and school age is, oddly enough, overly “caring” parents. Their desire to give their child what they did not have, overprotection and constant control overload the child not only physically, but also psychologically.

From birth, children have individual temperament, capabilities and limitations. Not all parents understand this. Wishing only the best for the child, they burden him with additional activities, often without even considering his interests. A student’s day can be scheduled minute by minute: after school – sports training, music or art school, swimming pool, English, tutor, homework, etc.

Afraid of upsetting his parents and realizing that they are trying for his good, the baby tries to do everything: study diligently, attend clubs. However, somewhere inside, fatigue and protest accumulate. This is a classic development of neurasthenia. At some point, the child breaks down, becomes irritable and aggressive, or, conversely, whiny and inhibited.

If there are several children in the family, then problems may begin due to jealousy towards the youngest family member. In teenagers this is more pronounced; it seems to them that their parents no longer love them, they don’t need them, since a “new” baby has appeared.

The situation is especially aggravated when the elder is often told that he is already an adult and has a special responsibility, and he himself missed the moment when he grew up. He is still small at heart and still needs parental love and support. Trying to meet the expectations of adults, the child experiences nervous overstrain, leading to frustration.

Triggers for the development of neurasthenia are also:

  • negative family environment - scandals, fights, divorce of parents;
  • social and everyday problems;
  • mistakes in education;
  • parental use of alcohol or drugs;
  • emotional psychological trauma;
  • severe fear;
  • hereditary diseases;
  • lack of sleep;
  • reduced immunity;
  • frequent respiratory tract infections;
  • acquired physical injuries;
  • digestive system disorders.

Most often there is not one, but several reasons. Due to this, diagnosis and treatment are delayed.

Aromatherapy

Natural methods are widely used to strengthen the nervous system, and aromatherapy is considered one of these. For this, various essential oils are used: tea tree oil, lavender, rosemary, chamomile, sage and other plants. Just one drop of this oil allows you to add variety to everyday life, thereby distracting from problems and reducing mental stress.

Vitamins and minerals

It's no secret that regular consumption of healthy micro- and macroelements promotes good health, but not many people know that such a diet also has a positive effect on the functioning of the central nervous system. What foods strengthen the nervous system and psyche? Doctors strongly recommend increasing the percentage of essential fatty acids consumed, which are found in fish, such as salmon. You should also eat more green vegetables, such as broccoli, Brussels sprouts, sprouts, and spinach; In addition, olive oil and dried fruits will not be superfluous. Obviously, every child will hardly like such a diet, but the importance and usefulness of these products should be strictly explained to him; in extreme cases, you can force him to consume these substances in a playful way.

Vitamins also significantly affect the health of the child’s psyche. A child's diet must contain vitamins such as B, C and E. To meet the child's body's needs for these elements, it is necessary to regularly eat fresh fruits, vegetables and whole grain cereals. B vitamins are especially beneficial for children's psyche, as they help reduce emotional excitability, relieve fatigue and improve concentration and attention. Their consumption also increases learning abilities, improves memory and prevents stress. The best sources of this vitamin are fruits, dairy products, fish and seafood.

General Tips

How to strengthen the nervous system and stop being nervous? In these matters, you should not underestimate the most ordinary, but no less pleasant, actions and activities. Walk barefoot frequently on wet ground, young grass, beach sand, or shallow water. This is one of the most pleasant and economical ways to strengthen the psyche.

Also take a contrast shower. It helps thin the blood and direct it to the brain area, which is especially useful for active nervous activity. In winter you can harden yourself and wipe yourself off with snow.

How to strengthen your nervous system

Often this problem extends not only to children, but also to adults. In such cases, it is also necessary to take a number of measures aimed at restoring one’s own nervous system and psyche.

How can you strengthen your nervous system and your psyche? First of all, you need to give up cigarettes and alcohol. These toxic substances are not only harmful to the body, they also constantly affect the nervous system, causing artificial euphoria every time. Also, give up very sweet foods, drink less coffee, avoid processed foods and fatty foods.

Causes of stress in children

Many people know how stress affects a child. Therefore, it is necessary to find out the causes of the disease and signs of stress:

  • 0-2 years. Separation from parents, especially mother. Constant moving from place to place, which affects the daily routine.
  • 2-4 years. Frequent absence of mom and dad, their divorce, the appearance of a new person in the family.
  • 4-7 years. Conflicts in the family. A trip to kindergarten, where the child is left without parents for a long time, surrounded by strangers. Inability to communicate normally with teachers and other children in the kindergarten.

Folk remedies

How to strengthen the nervous system and psyche with folk remedies? Fortunately, centuries of experience in treating problems with nerves and mental imbalance offers many useful recipes and remedies. We will look at some of them below.

  • Chamomile tea or infusion is one of the most popular folk recipes for combating an excited emotional state. The fact is that chamomile calms a nervous state and also reduces the risk of repeated emotional outbursts. It is advisable to drink one cup of chamomile tea before bed, but under no circumstances should you overuse this infusion.
  • Linden tea is another infusion that is recommended for people with unstable mental health. It helps your whole body relax and unwind.
  • Cabbage salad helps calm the nervous system and allows you to sleep soundly. The whole secret is that the leaves of the vegetable contain natural substances with sedative and hypnotic properties.
  • Passionflower. The leaves of this plant contain natural sedatives that help fight nervousness and irritability and calm the nervous system. Passionflower leaves must be boiled for 50-10 minutes, then cooled and eaten as a salad with honey or sugar.

Nutrition and daily routine

For a small child, breakfast is one of the most important meals. Therefore, you should not linger with it, much less skip it, since in the morning children spend more energy on perceiving and processing the information received.

However, dinner plays an equally important role for the health of the nervous system. It must be light, and you should not eat less than two hours before bedtime. If a child goes to bed with a full stomach, this will negatively affect his sleep, and we remember that healthy sleep is one of the prerequisites for a strong psyche.

The child's diet should mostly consist of natural products. Do not use preservatives, dyes, emulsifiers or flavor stabilizers. All these additives guarantee a negative effect on the child’s health. How else can you strengthen your nervous system and psyche?

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