About a man's feelings after a breakup
Women consider men to be thick-skinned creatures who easily endure separation without experiencing suffering. Actually this is not true. It’s just not customary for representatives of the stronger sex to demonstrate their emotions in public. In the company of friends, the guy is independent and indifferent, but at home he “drowns his grief at the bottom of a glass.”
Men are designed in such a way that they cannot stand pity. They are strong and independent, and not whiners and sufferers, so they carefully hide their experiences from friends and acquaintances after breaking up with their loved one. They drown out their pain in several ways:
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- drink often, sometimes get drunk to the point of unconsciousness;
- strive to spend time in noisy company;
- acquire extreme passion;
- they open a “hunt” for girls;
- spend their nights in the arms of different women.
If, after the end of a relationship, you meet your lover in a drunken bar in the company of girls, this does not mean that he has crossed you out of his life. Quite the contrary, he is deeply upset and very worried, he simply cannot show it.
Why after a breakup the girl suffers first, and then the guy: secrets of psychology
Female behavior, as a rule, follows a standard pattern: she withdraws and cries, trying to throw out all the negativity, and then talks to someone about her feelings. This approach helps not to hide emotions deeply and quickly get rid of negative thoughts. On average, girls experience it for six months.
Men, who are prohibited by social stereotypes from showing emotions, try to suppress them. Instead of, like women, quickly experiencing the negative, they do not even allow thoughts about possible sadness, because a “real man” is not allowed to cry. Over time, the accumulated emotions become much stronger and find a way out: the guys begin to “drown” their grief in alcohol, devoting themselves entirely to work or new relationships.
For what reasons do guys want to come back?
After a quarrel, the guys show their character and remain distant. They don’t call or write, they stop communication, they don’t get in touch. But then they appear on the horizon again and want to return her. What could be the impetus for this?
Failures in new relationships
If a man has lived with the same girl for several years, then it is difficult for him to look for new love from a psychological point of view. The fact is that during their life together, he had already formed a certain stereotype of an ideal wife. It is extremely difficult to find another woman like her. A man tries to see his ex in his new lover, but constantly stumbles upon some inconsistencies.
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To win the favor of the lady you like, you need to go through all the stages of the relationship again, conquer, find out, make surprises, adapt to new requirements. Why do this if you had such a dear and close person next to you? It was comfortable, convenient, cozy with her - that’s what the man thinks and returns.
Realizing your mistake
Sometimes a guy leaves his beloved in order to be alone, to sort everything out. At this time, he either understands that he does not need the young lady and he feels comfortable without her, or he realizes that he is bored. In the latter case, the man looks back and realizes that he was in vain to find fault, because these are such trifles compared to the positive emotions that he received while in a relationship. Realizing his mistakes, he tries to regain the affection of his beloved and promises to improve.
Jealousy
Men are inherently jealous. If a guy understands that you have found yourself a gentleman, he will have a desire to win and prove at least to himself that he is the best. Even a VKontakte post where you changed your status to “dating with,” or a joint photo with an attractive guy posted on Instagram can hurt a man’s pride. What can we say about the situation if he suddenly met you walking through the square in the evening with a handsome stranger. But in this case, you need to understand why your ex is trying to get you back: only because of a sense of possessiveness, or he still loves, and this situation simply pushed him to take active action.
He still loves
Sometimes there are moments in life when a man loves, but cannot come to terms with the shortcomings of his beloved. For example, she allows herself to flirt with other people’s men, and he is a terrible owner. It happens that a woman puts work above family and often disappears there in the evenings and on weekends. Because of this, he decides to leave, but, having lived alone, he realizes that he is ready to put up with these shortcomings, as long as he is nearby, because the feeling of love is higher than his discontent.
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Secret tricks
So we figured out the topic related to whether men miss women. If you want your chosen one to always remember you, then give him a small gift in the form of a keychain with your photo. Or leave your item in his house in a visible place. Every time he looks at the item, he will remember the time he spent with you.
Olfactory perception works perfectly. Use the same scent for meetings with him. On a date, try to cuddle up to him as much as possible so that your scent lingers on his clothes. When he comes home, he will remember you when he smells the perfume.
A man who misses a woman always remembers her touch. Therefore, you need to choose one part of your chosen one’s body that you will regularly touch. This could be the hand, neck, wrist, etc. 20–30 touches are enough. Subsequently, he will develop a habit, and if someone touches the same part of his body, he will remember you.
Source: labuda.blog
After how long and for what reason does the desire to return arise?
It is important for a woman to know whether her man misses her after a recent breakup and whether he wants to return. Time also plays an important role, because the more days pass, the more people move away from each other.
In fact, it is impossible to say clearly: the guy will return in 1 month 10 days. People are different, so a week is enough for one, while the other will come to his senses only after six months. The reasons why an ex returns are also varied:
- loneliness;
- disappointment in other women;
- sense of duty to family;
- great love for children;
- sexual dissatisfaction with others;
- elderly parents who do not approve of leaving the family.
There may be many reasons for returning, but you need to look at the behavior of your lover. If he really realized the mistake and wants to improve, then try to glue the bowl. Otherwise, you shouldn’t even try, because after some time the care will repeat.
Testing for sincerity
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In psychology there is a concept of “congruence”, which means the correspondence of non-verbal words to words. The body language of such a man will say the same thing as his words. By his facial expressions, gestures, and intonation, you can easily determine whether a man is really bored.
The man lies that he is bored
True, if he has well-developed acting abilities, not a single psychologist will be able to distinguish truth from lies.
The girl's behavior and reaction depending on the situation
A girl doesn’t always think about how long it takes for her ex-boyfriend to want to come back. It all depends on whether she herself wants to continue the relationship or is glad that the man decided to leave her.
Wants to reconnect
If all these days after the breakup you were waiting for your loved one, dreaming of hugging and kissing again, then you are ready to take him back. In this case, your family will face a long stage of developing trust. At this step, you need to correct mistakes, understand the reasons for the separation and hear each other so that the situation does not happen again. Returning, the guy wants a new relationship, but with an already proven and dear person. You and he need to change, and in addition, change the nature of your relationship.
Offended
It is not so important when he crawls on his knees to ask for forgiveness if she is offended and, out of pride, does not want to resume the relationship. If this is your case, then expect more decisive action than just words. Let the guy look after you, give flowers, beg for forgiveness. Only if you see that he has realized his mistakes and is ready to correct himself, give him a chance.
Found someone else
If a new boyfriend has appeared in your life and has sincerely attracted your attention, then your ex needs to be told about it. There is no need to give false hopes, pit men against each other, see who is the best, without saying yes or no. Select one and decide who you need: an ex, so close and dear, or a new one, sweet and interesting. Tell the second one a clear “no” so that he does not have false hopes.
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Do you want revenge
In this case, it is important to understand that revenge is not the best desire. It won’t make you feel any better, and you will feel guilty, especially if there is a third person involved who is the target. In this case, it is better to ask for advice from a more experienced person and deal with your desire for revenge. Roughly speaking, you need not to come up with insidious plans, but to solve the problem with your attitude.
Signs of melancholy
How to understand that a man is bored?
Main sign: often falls into the field of physical or virtual vision. For example, previously he might not call for several weeks, but now almost every day he carefully asks if any help is needed on his part.
More options for signals by which you can recognize that a man misses you:
- Personally presented or sent by courier sweets, flowers, tickets to an interesting event.
- He suggested we go visit mutual friends.
- He invited me to a restaurant, a cafe, a park where they sell ice cream - it all depends on age and income.
- I am ready to fulfill those desires that I previously opposed almost with weapons in my hands.
- He comes to your work or educational institution, timing the moment when you are ready to go home or on personal matters.
Expert advice: how to get a man back
If you don’t know when a guy remembers his beloved again after a breakup, and there is no certainty that he will even want to return, then psychologists advise acting on your own.
Use all possible methods:
- Make me jealous. Get yourself a boyfriend, post photos together on a social network, change your status, try to get your ex or his friends to see your couple. The man is a terrible owner. Realizing that someone else has his eye on his lady, he will try to win her affection again. But don’t give up too quickly so that your lover understands how hard it is to win you back again.
- Become more beautiful. Go on a diet, play sports, go to a cosmetologist and hairdresser. In general, don’t suffer, but be transformed. Then start posting photos on social networks in sexy outfits, collecting nice comments and likes from men. Believe me, your loved one will also appreciate the new image and understand how wrong he was.
- Agree to friendly relations. Such cunning behavior will help you not to lose sight of your partner, establish trusting communication, become closer and smoothly direct his thoughts to the fact that you were the best woman in his life. The main thing is not to impose your company, not to show excessive concern, not to show real feelings.
At the same time, psychologists warn: you should not become an alternate airfield for a man! In this case, after some time he will leave again, and you will be left with nothing.
After a certain time after breaking up with a girl, a moment comes in a guy’s life when he decides what to do next: stay alone, start a new romance, or return to his ex-lover. In any case, a man must figure this out himself. You can only slightly correct its movement and push it in your direction.
Basics of female psychology
Having analyzed the departed relationship, you can begin to analyze female psychology, namely, what a girl wants after a breakup. Thanks to the activity of scientists, it is possible to understand the feelings of the fair half not by theory, but by referring to statistics. A survey was conducted with the participation of 6 thousand people. According to the results, women always experience a breakup more difficult than men, regardless of who initiated the breakup. It is worth noting that after experiencing a crisis, the fair half recovers faster and becomes morally stronger than their partners.
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Between these two periods, emotions blaze, because excessive sensitivity is inherent in most women. Even in an ideal couple there are periods of storms and tearfulness. Unless of course this is a union of two Adults. According to the girls, they are responsible for the emotional component. Therefore, the main feeling, in addition to resentment and anger, that comes to the fore, is guilt for the impossibility of preserving love. You should be sure that at any moment, with the onset of twilight, a woman reproaches herself for leaving, engages in self-criticism, even if she is outwardly calm and happy.
Of course, not without exceptions. There is a small percentage of women who are characterized as the "Snow Queen". Her emotional intractability could be felt in the relationship itself. Such women do not experience a breakup, do not throw hysterics, they live by cold calculation, icy analysis. The opposite psychotype is depressed girls who cry both during love and after leaving. They need an object of experience. Even when they initiate a breakup, they write and call, threaten suicide, slash car tires out of anger.
