Relationships with managers play an important role in career advancement. Communication with a boss turns out to be a serious psychological test for many people, and when the boss does not know how to control himself or does not adhere to business ethics, the problem gains momentum. The relationship between a subordinate and a boss does not always work out well, and often interferes with effective work. Not every person can tolerate rudeness, but it is extremely difficult to respond to such behavior with dignity. How to resist a tyrant boss? When is it better to remain silent, and when is it necessary to make it clear that his behavior is unacceptable? Answers to these and other questions can be found in our article.
Types of bosses
Managing people is a complex art that requires a person to have certain qualities: flexibility, self-control, sociability, ambition, organization, and so on. And when work in a team does not work out, the atmosphere is oppressive, then it is worth thinking about the competence of the boss.
It is the destructive behavior of bosses that destroys peace and order in the team. So, the types of tyrant bosses:
- A reptile is a petty leader who is always at the beck and call of big bosses; today he is in a good mood and happy with the work of his subordinates, and tomorrow he scolds him because he was criticized by management. He is a middle class god.
- A dictator is a boss who will not let you say a word against it. He does not accept criticism, does not hear wishes, does not listen to advice. He thinks he knows everything better than others. His desires are undeniable, even if he does not fully understand the issue.
- A slob - he is not organized, not collected, forgets about important meetings, assignments, deadlines. He does not control the progress of work at all, but at the same time he lashes out at his subordinates for his mistakes and mistakes.
- A sadist - he knows all the weaknesses of his subordinates, he takes pleasure in mocking them, he seems to become attached to the victim, skillfully steps on her wounds, humiliating and insulting the person.
- Tyrant - he experiences sadistic love and affection for his subordinates, he cultivates slavish obedience and dependence in the team, instilling fear in his subordinates.
- An actor - he plays a competent specialist and supports the image in every possible way, even through humiliation.
- A coward - this boss is very afraid of competition, he is very suspicious, he sees subordinates everywhere who want to take his place, he humiliates them and by all means kills the spirit of competition and the ambition of his subordinates in the team.
If your boss is a tyrant, what should you do? The answer depends on his behavior patterns. Increasing intonation, ridiculing the actions of a subordinate, rude speech, belittling dignity, familiarity, obscene jokes, flirting are signs of a manager’s unprofessionalism. But before you start fighting inappropriate behavior, you should evaluate your strengths and capabilities. The slightest mistake will significantly worsen the situation.
Correct employee behavior tactics
What to do if your boss is a tyrant? Advice to subordinates who depend on this leader is the simplest. First of all, employees need to understand that they cannot act without permission in response to their boss’s behavior. Open confrontation will only do harm, and the boss will get away with it. How to deal with a tyrant boss:
- Make any decisions carefully.
- Behave calmly and reservedly.
- Always play it safe and perform any of your actions in the presence of witnesses.
- In front of strangers, treat your boss with respect.
If subordinates are thinking through a plan on how to get rid of a tyrant boss, then they should think through a secret and clear strategy of action. The main thing in this struggle for workers is to keep their jobs and not lose their jobs. The main rule in confrontation is to never complain about your boss to higher management. In companies, denunciations and complaints are not welcomed and are severely punished.
You shouldn’t even flirt with fighting with your boss. An employee must be responsible for his work and perform it efficiently and on time, and only then concern himself with creating a psychological atmosphere in the team.
Bouquet of daffodils
Particularly worth mentioning is the group of narcissistic psychopathy, which are based on delusions of grandeur and selfishness.
In everyday perception, these two varieties are intertwined, and this has its own truth: in the end, we are talking about the same thing - narcissism, confidence in one’s own infallibility and demands for others to emphasize the greatness of the boss. A narcissist is always a tyrant. As soon as a person has impaired the ability to self-esteem, this can lead to the death of the company: the team needs the leader to turn the steering wheel on time, while he constantly brakes and persists. Over time, this type easily moves into the zone of hysteria and sadism. In general, speaking about the toxicity of management (from delusions of grandeur to sexual deviations), we can say that the team is only able to protect itself from the influence of managers for a short time - with the help of spiritual practices, building up its own energy field, as well as various unloading systems that allow regeneration after a working day and come to your senses. In organizational practice, a technique called “cooling” is used, that is, complete immersion in activity and abstraction from everything personal at work: we freeze the parasites in the information environment, and they die. There are places where New Year, birthdays, etc. are not celebrated. On the one hand, this approach allows people to distance themselves from the influence of their colleagues, on the other hand, the company risks losing efficiency, because general secrecy does not contribute to the development of professionalism and complicates communications.
Ways to put a tyrant in his place
There are legends about tyrant bosses in the team; many employees discuss their behavior and personal qualities. But few people know how to behave with such a leader. What to do if your boss is a tyrant? Psychologist's advice:
- You can't give in to emotions. In a state of anger, anger, irritation, a person is most easily controlled. You need to prepare for the conversation in advance. Prepare yourself for a difficult conversation. You should behave calmly and evenly in front of your boss, and not show him emotions. Calmness in response to aggression will moderate his ardor.
- If your boss is rude, you need to ask him to give reasons for this behavior. You should speak to him in a cold and restrained manner. Uncultured behavior is the main sign of low intelligence, and restraint and politeness are signs of courage. If a subordinate knows how to control himself and his emotions, he becomes uninteresting for a sadistic boss or an actor.
- You should not publicly contradict your boss. You should talk to him alone. We need to find out what exactly doesn’t suit him about his work. It is better to write down everything that does not suit him. If any of the items listed are not true, you need to ask your boss about it. By forcing him to repeat the lie, you focus attention on the wrongness of his actions.
- You should not hurt his pride, otherwise the tyranny will become even harsher.
How to behave with a tyrant woman?
Now let's talk about the characteristics that are characteristic of women in leadership positions.
- Women tend to analyze a person’s inner motives more than his specific actions . Therefore, it is extremely important to earn the “credit of trust” from the boss and win personal sympathy. Then almost all office “storms” will bypass you. To win favor, I recommend choosing a good gift for a female executive on her birthday.
- Try not to react to scandals and hysterics from your boss . You must remain absolutely calm and neutral. If the boss does not see a response from you, she will quickly calm down and, probably, begin to talk in a more acceptable form.
- Don't give in to provocations. Firmly declare your job responsibilities to the team and perform only those tasks that you really can do.
ATTENTION !! Don’t waste your energy and time on useless showdowns - only care about the end result. If it is impeccable, no one can blame you.
What can't you do?
- Tolerate insults in silence. This is a sure way to lose the respect of both your tyrant boss and your colleagues.
- Respond to rudeness with rudeness, be rude to him. This will give rise to a new wave of aggression.
- Criticize the boss, neither of them likes criticism. If the boss is a tyrant, criticism is a sure way to aggravate the conflict.
- Ask for forgiveness and take the blame. This humiliation of one’s own dignity further frees the hands of the tyrant boss. This behavior is especially dangerous with a slob and a sadist.
How to prevent conflict
It should be remembered that all conflicts with your boss are much easier to prevent than to deal with their consequences later.
Often conflicts arise due to misunderstandings. The manager does not explain his position to his subordinates, and the employees silently tolerate his character and vague assignments.
We need to establish a dialogue. Through it you can convey verbal information and your inner state.
You need to show self-confidence from the first days of work. Actors and sadists avoid confrontations with such people. Of course, excessive self-confidence can irritate and irritate a dictator and a cowardly boss, but these are special cases. In addition, they will not enter into an obvious conflict with such a person. You can find a balance in communication with any leader, the main thing is to be attentive and not be afraid of your superiors.
What to do if your boss is a tyrant?
Finding a common language
Tyrants differ from those who like to throw a tantrum in that they behave aggressively towards everyone around them. Any tyrant boss is confident in his superiority over people. Typically, tyrants are men who have managed to occupy the position of general director of a company or top manager. They firmly believe that everyone around them is idiots and that communicating with fools is worse than medieval torture.
When communicating with a tyrant, you must initially behave correctly. Make it clear that you are proud enough to not become a scapegoat. This task is difficult, but if you cope with it, you will not be afraid of nagging and attacks in the future.
You can put a tyrant on your back by instilling in yourself the idea that you are no worse than him (this is actually true). The second option is for people with a good imagination - imagine a boss with a trash can on his head, in a pink T-shirt and slippers with teddy bears. Such a funny person simply has no right to look down on you.
Patience
All difficult situations in relationships darken your mood and work process; you need to learn how to overcome them correctly. At first, you need to observe the tyrant boss: his behavior is temporary or permanent, it is connected with troubles at work or with personal problems. If a person humiliates and insults his subordinates for the sake of pleasure, he is not worthy of respect and the position he holds.
Observation will help develop an action plan: find the leader’s weaknesses, collect evidence of his illegal actions. You should be very careful with despots; they always have escape routes. You should be patient; it will help you act rationally and not emotionally.
How do such leaders appear?
Psychologist Dmitry Voedilov explains how unrestrained bosses appear. It turns out that they act only on emotions. The fact is that only the right hemisphere of the brain, which is responsible for emotions, is activated. And the left, which is responsible for logic, remains depressed.
That is, he no longer thinks about what he is doing, he is simply overwhelmed by emotions. It is impossible to rehabilitate such a tyrant. If you want to continue working in this team, then try to regulate the boss’s behavior.
Observation
First, observe the behavior of your manager. Notice at what moments he has outbursts of discontent, anger, or, on the contrary, kindness. Pay special attention to what causes a particular reaction. By observing, you will find the necessary “buttons”.
Control
Having found the buttons, positive and negative, you will receive a control lever as a boss. If you are going to go to him with a request, then first make him kind.
You have already noticed that after that he becomes kinder, so press on. If he is forcing you to do a job that is not yours, then give him negative associations with it.
Take a break from bad behavior
We need to find a way to interrupt the boss’s “bad” behavior. Let's say he starts to lose his temper and raise his voice. Do what he doesn’t expect: “accidentally” drop your pen and start looking under the table. The angry chef, who has gotten the hang of it, suddenly sees that there is no one to yell at.
When he is silent, calmly ask him a question. Your “victim” will become confused and switch. This works in any situation where you are being yelled at. You might even spill water on yourself or need to go to the toilet.
Avoid stress
If the boss gets mad and yells, then it’s bad for him, but don’t even think about empathizing with him. Observe from the outside. A sick man, what can you take from him?
Chill out
If the manager managed to get you, then you need to get rid of this state, otherwise you will be torn apart. Try to talk to someone, complain. You can splash water on your face or shout loudly.
It would be good to run for 10-15 minutes to relieve stress. Deep breathing works great: 3 deep breaths and 3 exhalations. Repeat until you calm down.
Prepare escape routes
Today, many children of rich dads are starting their own businesses. Accustomed to living on everything ready, they do not know how to lead, and at the same time they also yell at their subordinates. Run away from such fools, otherwise you will end up with money.
A way to deal with management negativity
If the boss’s behavior, despite everything, does not change, you should weigh all the pros and cons. Decide for yourself: resist tyranny or change jobs. If you decide to resist, then you should seriously prepare for this.
Here are some signs that you should start fighting with your boss:
- The boss does not listen to the advice and competent arguments of his employees.
- Gives unfair punishments.
- Belittles the merits of the subordinate, puts him in a negative light.
It is difficult and sometimes impossible to come to an agreement with such a boss. He is on his own mind and does not consider it necessary to listen or hear anyone. In case of a mistake, he will always find the culprit - the one he likes least.
The fight against tyranny can only be achieved through the joint efforts of the entire team. Real evidence is needed to fire or demote him. Before they gather, you should under no circumstances express your position to the tyrant.
Block 3. The boss is yelling! How to cope with stress?
Your first task in this situation is:
RESTORE YOUR INNER BALANCE.
1. Count to yourself to ten as you inhale, and then to ten as you exhale.
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It is very difficult to stretch your breathing during stress, because the release of catecholamines (adrenaline, norepinephrine, dopamine) into the blood leads to increased breathing, increased blood pressure, and increased heart rate (heart rate). Therefore, at first you quickly count to ten, but force yourself to slow down the countdown. During times of severe stress, it is not recommended to hold your breath between the inhalation and exhalation phases, otherwise you will begin to experience a lack of oxygen, which will only increase stress. Force yourself to breathe slower and slower. Within 30 seconds you will feel better, and in 1-3 minutes you will begin to manage your stress.
2. Direct your gaze to the person's neck. This way you will save yourself from the annoying picture of your boss’s distorted face. And this in turn will help you cope with stress. In addition, the boss will not consider you as an ENEMY and vice versa, if you look into the eyes of the Howler, you will quickly run into a full contact (ranked duel).
3. If you are talking on the phone, then start looking up, raise your eyes and look at the sky or ceiling. It will become easier for you to breathe. Open your mouth and breathe through both your mouth and nose at once (if you are shy about the people around you, then just turn away from them; you are talking on the phone, not with them at the moment). And of course, count as you inhale/exhale.
4. If you start answering right away, then your reaction will most likely harm the situation.
“You will throw brushwood into the fire inside the boss, and then burn in the raging flames between the two of you.”
Confrontation
Open confrontation alone is a very difficult way to combat tyranny. It is best to start with an objection that should be devoid of aggression or emotion. You need to ask him to explain his decision, and it is better to conduct a dialogue in front of witnesses. If your boss responds with aggression or disrespect, you should politely ask him to follow the rules of business communication and etiquette.
You should not enter into an unequal dispute; in such conflict situations, the leader always wins.
Subordination
The most unsuccessful way to deal with a tyrant is through senior management. Modern companies don’t really like sneaking around, so you can resort to this method of influencing a destructive boss only if you have nothing to lose and it’s simply impossible to continue working like this. At the same time, the rules of subordination should be observed: disrespect for the boss does not give reason to insult him.
In case of indecent behavior or sexual harassment, you must contact the company management and set out in writing all the details of the incident. Humiliation of an employee's dignity based on gender or race is a serious violation of the country's legislation, which is fraught with a fine and dismissal.
Administrative resource
It is definitely worth complaining to the labor inspectorate; this is the body that is directly responsible for checking the legality of employers’ actions in relation to their employees, and considers complaints and appeals regarding violations of the labor rights of employees.
This body is directly in charge of these issues, therefore, if there is no direct violation of the law, you should not try to jump over your head and write complaints to the Investigative Committee. The same prosecutor’s office will forward your complaint to the labor inspectorate, so you should contact them immediately so as not to waste your own and other people’s time.
By virtue of the law on the procedure for citizens’ appeals, the labor inspectorate is obliged to respond in any case.
If she comes to inspect your organization, they rarely leave without a protocol on an administrative violation. They will check everything and not only based on the fact of the complaint, they may also find something else, but the fines for violations in terms of the labor inspection are very large, and challenging these fines in court is, as a rule, useless.
If you intend to file a complaint with the labor inspectorate, in some cases it may be prudent to provide a copy of the complaint directly to the employer as notice before filing.
If the boss is not completely beaten, then he will consult with a lawyer, and he will tell him that “the game is not worth the candle,” it is better to go easy on this employee, because the labor inspectorate can create big problems and cause losses to the organization.
In the complaint you should write only about the violation of your rights, preferably with references to the labor and administrative codes; you should not get personal and write what kind of boss is an asshole.
In general, in order to competently draw up a complaint, it is better to contact a specialized lawyer, because he knows how to draw up an appeal to a government body so that this body does not get away with a formal reply.
