What is empathy
The concept in question appeared thanks to the research of the American psychologist E. Titchener.
Empathy
- this is a response, an acute internal reaction to the feelings and emotions of other people. This is the ability to understand and see what is happening psychologically with an opponent, the ability to feel his experiences.
Each of us has the ability to empathize; it is innate. Remember the child’s behavior: the mother laughs and he laughs, the mother bursts into tears and the child sheds tears. With age, this quality disappears or becomes less pronounced in most of us, as self-defense mechanisms against negative emotions are activated.
Empathy is activated when someone around a person experiences negative emotions: sadness, sadness, fear. A sensitive person in such a situation also begins to worry and tries to provide support.
Sensitive people react sharply to not only reality events. They know how to put themselves in the shoes of a book character or a movie hero, feel his feelings, and cry when watching the corresponding scenes.
Psychology considers two types of empaths
:
- People who are good at reading the emotions and states of others, but at the same time internally remain cold and rational. Such people can be dangerous because, having studied a person, they can begin to manipulate and use another.
- Those who not only see the opponent’s psyche, but also feel his pain or confusion as their own.
The concept of the second type is the most common and is accepted as the basis. In our article we will talk about highly sensitive people who sincerely empathize with others.
What is empathy
We learn empathy from infancy, most often by copying the behavior of our parents and close relatives
It is very important to show your child ways to express sympathy. If the child is accustomed to being sympathized and supported after any failure, he will show himself in the same way as an adult
Buddhism reveals the phenomenon of empathy and compassion as a thirst to free others from suffering. Buddhists believe that the essence of humanity is compassion, love and kindness. To express empathy, humanity also needs wisdom.
An interesting view of empathy was described by David Myers in his work “Social Psychology,” where the author gives a psychological description of empathy. Any exciting situation in someone’s life possibly awakens so-called distress in our subconscious.
Myers took as a basis three factors of sympathetic expression of feelings. Firstly, by reacting with sympathy to the depressed state of mind of an individual, our psyche unconsciously reduces its distress to nothing and removes the internal feeling of guilt. Myers called this veiled selfishness. Secondly, by sympathizing, we can, distracting ourselves from our own experiences, switch to the experiences of others. Thirdly, we are pushed to express sympathy by generally accepted rules. By rules we mean the expectations of society that dictate specific behavior and emotional reactions. This can be described as tact, good manners and humanity.
The ability to sympathize with others is a key trait in the character of a practicing psychologist. Carl Rogers believed that without this quality the work of a psychologist would be impossible. He describes that compassion (sympathy, empathy) is a fundamental trait of the therapist in the therapeutic relationship with the patient, and a basic requirement for personal change in the client himself. Rogers' characterization of empathy was as follows: the phenomenon is a complex process involving awareness of the role, experiences and principles of the individual. However, you need to realize that this is not a primitive recognition of a person’s experiences, as well as the ability to timely go beyond the boundaries of the situation that has arisen and evaluate it from a new perspective.
Sympathy and compassion are very often used as synonyms, but the difference in these terms can be described as follows: compassion is a feeling of sadness, and empathy is a state of mind that can bring a feeling of joy to life.
Types of empathy in psychology
Particular sensitivity to the inner world of others is classified into the following types.
Rational or intellectual (cognitive)
In this form, the state of the individual is, first of all, subject to analysis and study. We compare a person's actions with his actions and knowledge of how people act when experiencing the corresponding emotions.
This type is based on the experience of similar experiences by humans. His facial expressions, gestures, gaze, and voice are of great importance in determining the state of another individual. From them you can tell what a person is experiencing. However, it is important to be able to “read” non-verbal symbols so as not to make mistakes.
The cognitive form of empathy helps in personal and business communications and allows you to achieve what you want by understanding the personality of your opponent.
Emotional
Based on the mechanism of mental infection. There are particularly sensitive individuals who literally read the emotional state of their interlocutor. There is a deep immersion into the inner state of another person.
Such people have a special nervous system and can experience the pain of others as their own personal tragedy. It is not surprising that they experience significant emotional and nervous overload.
Any story about a catastrophe that has occurred in the world can plunge them into a state of prolonged experience of tragedy and compassion for strangers.
Intuitive (predicative)
This type presupposes the ability to anticipate, predict the reactions and emotions of interlocutors. A person understands in advance how his partner will react to one or another of his actions.
A predictive empath not only understands the internal state, he is aware of the motives of actions. Therefore, he tries to act in such a way as not to disturb the psychological comfort of another person.
A person may have the properties of empathy of one, two or all three types. There are individuals who do not understand the moods of other people at all and do not spare their personal inner world, i.e. have no empathy.
What signs indicate the existence of empathy?
Signs of empathy are
:
Full readiness to support
Each of us may need support and comfort. There are many difficult and unforeseen situations in life, and not everyone is ready to endure them steadfastly and adequately. Having a strong shoulder nearby, capable of not only sympathizing, but also providing real help, is one of the conditions for overcoming the crisis and minimizing psychological trauma.
A person with a high level of empathy always strives to help, to do everything in his power. He will arrive at night to give you a pill, he will rush to pick up a comrade who has gone on a spree from the police, and he will not leave a dog or other animal to die on the road.
Without receiving any return in return, such an individual still continues to do good deeds, thereby strengthening his self-esteem.
Ability to hear your interlocutor
We have met people who like to talk only about themselves and their problems. They will listen to us reluctantly and again turn the topic to their loved ones.
If there is empathy, a person notices our every word. There is not even a shadow of condemnation in it, there are no moral teachings or moralizations. Even if a morally bad act is committed, an empath will find the right words and support.
The interlocutor understands that his problems are important and significant, which means he himself is interesting and needed. A sincere person will always give real and useful advice based on what he hears.
Sincere sympathy
Empathy involves sincere and open empathy. You can give advice and help with a cold heart, without being imbued with the misfortune of another. And you can feel the pain as if it were your own.
Highly empathetic individuals can suffer no less than their wards, forget about peace and sleep until the situation is resolved. They cry when experiencing touching or tragic scenes from films, and then cannot forget them for a long time.
How is compassion understood in Buddhism?
The basic meaning of compassion is “sympathy,” the recognition that I share the feelings of another being. “I feel everything you feel: everything that hurts you hurts me; whatever helps you helps me.” In the Buddhist context, compassion means complete identification with the suffering of others and the desire to relieve them of pain; and this identification motivates us to act. Compassion in the Buddhist sense is like an eyelash caught in the eye. The suffering of all sentient beings becomes your deeply personal pain, which forces you to do whatever is necessary to eliminate it.2
If we look at the etymology of the Russian word “to sympathize”, it means “to participate in the suffering of another”, “to empathize with the sufferer or share sorrow with him”, “to suffer together with...”. The prefix “with” here means “together with someone.” “Co-suffering” means sharing someone’s suffering, suffering together with another, emotionally feeling someone else’s pain as one’s own, just as co-joy means sharing someone’s joy, feeling it as one’s own.
If a responsive and sensitive person sees the suffering of another, then at that moment his consciousness, as it were, penetrates the consciousness of the suffering creature - be it a person or an animal, unites with it, and the compassionate person on an emotional level feels someone else’s pain as his own. Sometimes this emotional connection is so strong, and the pain felt is so unbearable that a person simply cannot remain inactive and is ready to do anything to somehow help someone who is suffering and alleviate his situation, even risking his safety, his health and his life.
By the way, compassion is inherent not only in humans, as many people think, but also in animals of a certain level of development. This is especially true for maternal nature. It is not the so-called “instinct” at all, but genuine love and compassion that makes a female animal, when threatened, rush to protect her cub, risking her own life. Animals show compassion not only to their young, but also to other animals, as well as to people. There are many examples of this. I remember when I, as a small child, cried, our cat Musya always came to console me. It was at these moments that she came up to me, stood on her hind legs, rubbed herself against me and showed me her participation with all her appearance.
People's compassion is often selective: we do not empathize with everyone and not always. Sometimes it happens that we feel compassion for people close to us or for those we know well, but at the same time we remain indifferent to the suffering of those who are not connected with us in any way. The Buddha encouraged monks and lay people to develop compassion not only for those with whom we are connected, but for each and every sentient being who suffers. The development of empathy and mercy brings positive results. We'll look at which one later. We also recommend material about the 3 jewels of Buddhism.
Is it possible to develop empathy?
If you wish, empathy can be cultivated in yourself.
This should be done for several reasons
:
- it will become much easier to negotiate with other people in the professional sphere;
- there will be an opportunity to have close friends nearby;
- self-esteem will be increased;
- empathy gives rise to creativity and creativity;
- An empath is very difficult to deceive; he senses insincerity.
Pros and cons of empathy
Like any phenomenon, empathy can be beneficial or harmful to a person. So, what are the pros and cons of the ability to empathize?
Pros:
- thanks to the ability to understand others, a person can become a good specialist in any field of activity related to people;
- the ability to think outside the box and find original solutions;
- the ability to provide support and help to others;
- the ability to recognize lies and insincerity;
- the ability to effectively resolve or avoid conflicts.
Minuses:
- inability to show healthy aggression when necessary;
- emotional burnout;
- constant worry about other people's problems;
- tendency to mental disorders;
- other people may begin to take advantage of the person's kindness;
- increased anxiety and vulnerability.
Advice from psychologists on strengthening the ability to be compassionate
If for some reason you lack such a trait as empathy, practice the following skills
:
- Get to know yourself and your feelings, reflect
. In the evening, you can think about what events the day was filled with, what emotions you experienced in a given situation. - Every word heard from another person should reach the heart, understand what the person is saying
. Listen carefully. - Become an actor
. Imagine yourself in the role of this or that hero, try to understand his emotions. - Do not refuse to help colleagues, friends or loved ones
. If they ask for your advice, then listen and help. - Pets are very good at awakening frozen empathy
. Every adequate person, at the sight of kittens and puppies, has feelings of tenderness, kindness, and a desire to protect.
The main condition for the development of compassion is the ability to love, to experience kind feelings towards the whole world. If you have fear, anger, malice, and selfishness in your soul, then you won’t be able to become an empath even if you follow all the tips listed above.
Positive and negative sides of empathy
In the article, we have already talked about the positive aspects of empathy: success in negotiations, a positive emotional climate at home and at work, and good self-esteem.
But, like any thing, empathy has a reverse, “dark” side, namely
:
- Strong emotional and nervous stress
. A person constantly passes through the problems and pain of others as if it were his own business. He suffers, worries, wastes his energy and emotions. - Strong empaths take responsibility for everything in the world
. They believe that they are obligated to help everyone, and if this does not work out, they feel guilty. The desire to help extends not only to family and friends, but also to strangers.
- A person suffers from an extreme degree of altruism, i.e. helping others to the detriment of oneself
. In this regard, their problems and troubles accumulate, and, as a rule, no one is in a hurry to help.
In addition, high empaths simply physically cannot say rudeness in response to rudeness and hurt the person who offended them. Therefore, sometimes people give the impression of being weak and weak-willed, although this is not at all the case.
Many people use this feature when solving personal issues. There are very few true HSPs (highly sensitive people) and they need to be protected.
Is mercy necessary? It’s everyone’s decision.
However, to be merciful or cruel, everyone also decides for himself. You need to answer the question for yourself: do I myself need empathy and compassion? The essay only helps to suggest such reasoning. A person who lacks compassion for people and for all living things can gradually develop these qualities in himself. How to do it? The easiest way is good deeds. You can start helping first relatives and friends who need it, then strangers. Now many different social institutions need help. And in the West, experience of charity or volunteering is a significant plus when applying for a job.
Cultivating human qualities is an important stage in the development of personality. Our behavior depends on them. To a certain extent, everyone is influenced by culture and society, but ultimately morals are determined by everyone for themselves. So what is empathy, and should you cultivate it in yourself?
The explanatory dictionary defines empathy as the ability to understand someone else’s situation, to feel someone else’s grief, to put oneself in the place of another person
It is important not only to understand but also to separate them. Most often, every person has the beginnings of this condition.
Who doesn’t feel sad at the sight of abandoned children or old women begging for alms? But the human condition is not always obvious. Often people who are depressed do not show their condition in any way. Therefore, it is important to develop empathy and sensitivity.
How to show empathy? There is no single template here. Some people just need a hug, others need to say an encouraging word. Others need to The first step you need to take is to listen to the person. Sometimes even this can help a lot. Ask questions. This way the interlocutor will understand that you care about him. Develop your powers of observation
Empathy and compassion go hand in hand, so it is important to be able to notice someone else’s depression in time. Don't be afraid to appear sassy
The last thing to do is put yourself in the other person's shoes. This is the most difficult stage. A common mistake they make is to start judging. This doesn't lead to anything good. After all, what is sympathy? This is the ability to share someone else's grief. The key point is to “share.” And do not give any assessment of what is happening. To better understand other people's problems, you need to read
It’s not enough to know, you need to be able to show it
To do this, it is important to develop this quality. Talk to your children and friends more often
Carefully observe the people around you, note their condition. Put yourself in their shoes every time. This will allow you to develop tolerance for other people's actions. Empathy is also important. This is the ability to feel other people's emotions. This is difficult to learn, but possible. After which you will not need to know what empathy is, you will show it without difficulty.
In addition to developing compassion in yourself, it is important
Vaccinate children. Without this, they will become cruel and selfish. Don't forget that they follow the example of their parents. If they are polite to each other and show love, then children will easily adopt this. If the situation is the opposite, then nothing good can be expected.
It is important to talk to them about reading books together and the like. Remember that the older the child, the more difficult it is to rehabilitate him
Also, empathy is an important quality for psychologists. In their daily work they encounter a large number of human problems and their task is not only to help, but also to share the grief
It is noteworthy that men are more likely to show compassion than women. It is their biological role to help weaker people. But in the end, each person chooses how to behave.
Compassion is a word that many people are familiar with first-hand, but what compassion really is, as well as how it is understood in different cultures, we will find out in this article.
Rules for controlling the ability to empathize
In psychology there is a concept called “empathic fatigue.” It affects people whose jobs involve compassion and empathy every day: medical personnel, social service workers, rescuers. Faced with blood, pain and death every day, such people experience emotional empathic burnout syndrome.
If a person feels that he is an HSP and is gradually becoming emotionally exhausted, then preventive measures should be taken on “mental hygiene”.
You should learn to control and restrain your emotions. Move from identical suffering to rational help. Try to help the person in a detached manner, without letting his grief pass through you.
Empaths tend to be embarrassed to ask for help themselves. There is no need to do this. If you are in trouble, find yourself in a difficult situation, or just need someone to cry to, then feel free to contact people. You have helped many, let them help you too. It will happen that your imaginary loved ones will not want to sympathize, analyze whether you are wasting your life on people who will not tear themselves away from the sofa for you. Think rationally!
Avoid watching programs that will evoke emotions of sadness and compassion. Your films are comedies!
To gain energy, follow the banal rules: get enough sleep, spend time in nature, eat right.
How is empathy diagnosed?
Diagnosis of the level of empathy is carried out using tests, the number of which is huge today. These tests are available to anyone on the Internet.
The technology for determining the level of empathy is identical for all tests: a series of questions are proposed that must be answered honestly (after all, no one can see you). Based on the results of the answers, the level of empathy will be assessed.
The most common is the express method of I. Yusupov. Its essence lies in the assessment of several judgments that, at first glance, are not related to empathy. For example: “Young people must satisfy any eccentricities of old people,” “A person gets out of a difficult conflict situation on his own,” etc. Based on the answers, a conclusion will be drawn about the level of empathy.
There are other tests, for example, the “Emotional Response Scale” questionnaire by A. Mehrabyan. You can take several tests online, then the results will be more reliable.
Main types and levels
Types of empathy in psychology:
- Emotional. This type is based on mechanical projection and imitation of the motor and affective reactions of the interlocutor. Mechanical projection is a psychological defense mechanism in which internal feelings are perceived as coming from outside. It manifests itself in the form of attributing one’s feelings and emotions to the interlocutor with the conviction that this feeling comes from external influences and not from within. Motor reactions are understood as small motor operations that accompany action and communication. An affective reaction is a violent emotional action, a sharp change in state.
- Cognitive. This controlled empathy is based on processes of an intellectual nature: comparison, analogy, contrast.
- Predicative. Empathy, which consists in the ability to predict the affective reactions of the interlocutor.
There are several special forms of empathic behavior:
- empathy - identifying the emotional feelings of the interlocutor,
- sympathy (compassion) is a form of expressing a state in response to the experiences of another person.
Psychological levels of empathy:
- High (third). Increased empathy is manifested in the fact that a person deeply empathizes with the state of others. Often this inclusion is on the verge of losing control. It is quite rare.
- Middle (second). The level at which a person has the ability to control empathy, but puts his own feelings first. Average empathy is typical for most modern people. Other people's feelings and emotions do not matter to their lives. The main thing is the process of action, and not the emotional subtext of these actions.
- Low (first). The level is characterized by indifference, indifference to the condition of other people. Such people usually have problems with socialization, they are unsociable, lead a hermit lifestyle, and have no friends or relatives.
It is worth mentioning separately a group of people who use controlled empathy for professional purposes (doctors, teachers, actors, writers, employees of special government services, etc.). Such people strive to develop controlled empathy to achieve professional goals.
