How to set yourself up for positivity if the life of a modern person is filled with all sorts of different worries, various experiences and all sorts of anxieties. As a result, he daily fixes negative thoughts in his mind with his own fears, is exposed to stress and surrenders to the power of negative emotions. These internal experiences with a minus sign tend to accumulate, which often leads to mental disorders or depressive moods.
The question naturally arises, how to set yourself up for positivity? After all, life is a kind of canvas with obstacles, a series of black and white stripes. Meetings are certainly followed by separations, and successes are replaced by failures, joy is accompanied by sadness, and inspiration is transformed into disappointment. At the same time, human existence is so multifaceted and impermanent that it is necessary to constantly be on guard so as not to miss an opportunity or not to succumb to false temptation. Therefore, a person needs to learn to independently adjust himself to the positive.
How to learn to think positively?
A person who is set up for failure will actually attract troubles and bad events to himself like a magnet.
And there is no magic in this. It's all about how our brain works. If people concentrate on the bad, they do not notice positive events and moments. And they willingly focus their attention on negative incidents. This is called the "sieve principle". Those. the focus of attention is selectively focused on what is in tune with the individual’s mood. Over time, focusing on the negative can lead to apathy, depression, problems in various areas (due to a lack of faith in the best and the resulting inability to deal with obstacles), and in the long term can even provoke illness.
If you learn to think positively, you can radically change your life. Psychologists say that correct thinking contributes to human development in all areas and directions, be it career, personal life, scientific or creative activity, etc.
Positive people are more balanced , get sick less often, concentrate well on tasks and approach problems with a clear head.
How a person’s positive thinking is connected with his Creator, look at the video:
Test to identify the predominant type of thinking
Take the test to find out what type of thinking you have. You have three possible answers - yes, sometimes and no. Answer as you see fit:
- Do you feel younger than you appear on your documents?
- Do you have self-confidence?
- Do you suffer when you need to work?
- Do you love classical music?
- Do you like communicating with other people?
- Do you have an inferiority complex?
- Can you cope with any given task?
- Do you like to start and implement global projects?
- Do you often solve complex problems?
- Do you consider yourself an optimist?
- How often do you achieve your goals?
- Does despair happen to you?
- Are you open to new things?
- Are you ever absolutely happy?
- Are you ready to challenge fate?
For every yes answer you give yourself 2 points, for every “sometimes” answer you get 1 point, for every “no” answer you get no points. Count how many you have and read the description.
0-10 points – Pessimist
You don't wait for gifts from fate. The usual reality for you is a constant struggle for a place in the sun. Even on a normal day, you can find things that throw you off track. Because you constantly expect something bad to happen, you constantly overwork.
Most likely, you have excellent professional skills, but a lack of faith in yourself and your strengths prevents you from moving up the career ladder. Frequent worries have a bad effect on your well-being, so health problems are possible.
You are used to complaining about circumstances and life. Because of this, it is difficult for people to communicate with you, since hopelessness is heard in everything.
11-20 points – Realist
You try to control everything, but at the same time you take into account everything that happens around you. You take into account not only positive, but also negative factors, which gives you the right to control the situation. You don't expect the worst, and you know how to enjoy the moment. But if times get tough, you will do everything to improve the situation.
Hard work is the main factor that takes you to success. You can encourage others and tell them that they can succeed if they work hard. You want to do what is right and just, but this does not always work out, so your conscience may torment you.
21-30 points – An optimist with rose-colored glasses
You tend to exaggerate the positive in life, which often prevents you from making the right decisions. For you, the glass is always full, even when it is empty. You unconditionally believe in the best, but do not always take responsibility for your own actions. Sometimes you run away from problems instead of solving them. You may take on important matters, overestimating your strength. As a result, situations may arise that lead to conflict.
Benefit and success
Watching stories of other people's success, people try to understand how the heroes of history managed to achieve such heights.
After all, today's successful people were often once average citizens. And not all of them had a good start. Of course, there are many success factors, but the key role can rightfully be assigned to the way of thinking. While some were shy, afraid of failure, worried, lazy and procrastinated, others believed in their success and tried to “conquer the mountain” over and over again, even if they fell from it more than once on the slope.
Video about the benefits of positivity:
Why should a person learn the principles of positive thinking?
If a person is passive and timid, he prefers to rely on the critical opinion of others , expects failures and firmly believes that he will not succeed; of course, no joyful events will happen in his life.
An individual with negative thinking will put himself in a box, preferring to protect himself from disappointments. But in this way he will also protect himself from success.
In fact, any event that happens to us initially does not have an emotional indicator. Events are neutral. The person himself gives a certain color to what is happening, determining for himself his attitude to what happened and the emotions that the accomplished fact evokes.
And if a person allows negativity to dominate in his head,
very soon control will be lost and thinking in a similar vein will become dominant.
Those. negativity will become a certain basic setting or filter that will immediately apply to all events in life. Over time, a person will actually lose the ability to distinguish bad from good and will learn to look for bad connotations in absolutely everything. The level of anxious anticipation will increase, and the quality of life will decrease. And every day something will happen that can be characterized by the simple phrase “I told you so!”
To regain self-control and feel in control of your life, you will have to try and break the vicious circle.
Positive thinking also has strong energy and can displace negative emotions.
And as soon as a person relearns to think in a new way, he will immediately feel that he controls his own life and mood . As a result, the focus of perception will shift (again according to the “sieve” principle) and the brain will focus only on what pleases it.
What is logical thinking, forms, and how to develop it, read here.
Negative thinking
It is based on a person’s personal qualities, his experiences and his environment. Characterizes an insufficient level of brain activity capabilities.
As people get older, they accumulate more and more negativity. They tend to deny everything that they consider unacceptable to themselves. When thinking about difficult life situations, they invariably try to find a way that will help avoid them in the future. This is a big mistake. Such thoughts do not allow you to see anything but negative aspects.
After a certain time, the pessimist begins to perceive life as dull and colorless.
Characteristics of a negative thinking person
He constantly looks for the reasons for his own failures in other people. He tries with all his might to make them guilty, and doesn’t even think about changing the situation. The main properties of a person who cannot figure out how to change consciousness, learn every day, always live positively and forget about the negative, think only about the good, include:
- lack of desire to make changes in life;
- constant search for disadvantages in any situation;
- reluctance to learn, to comprehend something new;
- causeless longing for the past;
- anticipation of changes for the worse, preparation for them;
- passivity along with the desire to benefit;
- bad attitude towards others;
- stinginess in all areas.
A person living on negative emotions is unable to formulate his goals normally. He tries to make life easier, but has no idea how to do it.
The essence
Thinking positively does not mean living in a fictional world , denying everything bad and engaging in self-deception.
Even positive-minded people understand that a person regularly faces problems and makes mistakes, becomes a victim of other people’s mistakes, or simply finds himself “in the wrong place at the wrong time.” But this understanding does not become a reason for stress, worry and constant anticipation of pain and problems. For properly minded people, everything negative becomes a valuable experience and lesson, an opportunity for growth, development and learning.
If a pessimist encounters trouble, he immediately gives up, believes that he deserved this failure and it simply could not have happened any other way. There may even be phrases such as: “this is natural”, “I’m a loser”, “I shouldn’t have hoped, everything was clear right away”, etc.
An optimist will also experience negative emotions due to difficulties , but he will not submit to them and will not get bogged down in a swamp of sorrows. A person who knows that he is building his own life will quickly pull himself together, begin to look for a way out of the situation and analyze, calculate the steps and set the right guidelines for himself.
Peace of mind is based on the understanding that life is changeable and neither the bad nor the good period will last forever. But it depends on the person which periods will dominate.
It is possible to learn to rejoice and experience happiness, even if you are captive of negative perception. It is important to start with small steps towards a complete transformation of consciousness. It is important to stop associating failures with your personality and start letting go of the situation when it cannot be influenced.
Strategies for optimistic thinking for different psychotypes
Where to begin? Before you start working with your thinking, you should determine and study your psychological type .
- Introvert . This is a person who does not strive to join society, he enjoys being alone and it is quite difficult to establish contact with others. Such people are balanced and not prone to strong emotions. Their normal state can be described as “neutral”. They rarely experience intense happiness and joy, even when there are appropriate incentives.
- Extrovert . The antipode of an introvert. He is open to communication and new contacts, feels good in society, and usually views all problems as an opportunity to improve his skills. Able to maintain a high level of his own positive attitude and convey good emotions to others.
The traits that are observed in extroverts fully reflect the positive aspects of an optimistic attitude:
- thirst for new knowledge and discoveries;
- desire to improve quality of life;
- the tendency to plan and draw up strategies, to structure one’s actions;
- the ability to make efforts to achieve set goals;
- the ability to learn from both other people's mistakes and other people's successes;
- attitude towards one’s own victories without excessive emotionality, taking them for granted;
- low degree of attachment to the material components of life;
- controlled emotionality.
Society tends to associate extroverts with positivity and introverts with negativity. But these are erroneous conclusions. The classification is conditional and reflects only the tendency to the dominant manifestation of certain emotions. But these two psychological types have cross-features and do not occur in nature in their pure form. Those. An introvert always has extrovert traits and vice versa.
Daily Practice
- " Emotions over the edge ." Sit in front of the mirror and watch your face , consider the features and features. Look at yourself as a stranger. After this, try to express vivid emotions with your face, accompanying this with suitable phrases and intonation. Listen to how your voice changes and how your body responds to it.
- " Alternate emotions ." Think about the negative, bring negative emotions to the surface and try to feel them deeply. Then slowly switch to a positive wave and listen carefully to yourself during the “perestroika”.
- " Unexpectedly winning ." Model in your head a situation in which you found yourself in the thick of problems. Try to live through this situation emotionally. Then suddenly put yourself in a winning position in your head. This exercise will teach you to quickly change your focus from problems to opportunities, even in everyday life.
- " Here is my hand ." This exercise will help you hear yourself and recognize your own feelings. Focus your attention on your left palm. Try to understand how you feel. Is the hand cold or hot, wet or dry, hard or weak? After a while, switch your attention to your second hand.
- " Eat with taste ." Your task is not just to get more pleasure from food, but to learn to live every moment. Try to slow down while eating. Don't rush to chew the piece. Taste the food, try to grasp its taste, aroma, strength and shade of each ingredient in the dish. Enjoy how the dish looks on the plate and how it is presented. How comfortable the cutlery is in your hand and how the tablecloth matches the color of the dishes.
- " Fantasy World ". Try to understand what you would like to have at the moment. For example, you dream of buying an apartment. Place your hand in your pocket and imagine that you have found the keys to the door there. The door that leads to your new home. Imagine how the cold metal from which the keys are made heats up from the warmth of your palms. How an unexpected find tightens your pocket. Fix the image in your head.
- " Relax ". It will help you relax and understand how to look at life and the world positively every day. Take a comfortable position, close your eyes. Now quickly, quickly clench and unclench your fists. Then raise your arms parallel to the floor without stopping the movement. When it becomes obvious that you are tired, lower your palms and relax. Remember this state.
- " Identifying our strengths ."
If a person is aware that he has achieved something and is good in some specific areas, it will be easier to tune in to the positive. But often people ignore their strengths. To remember your advantages, you need to take a sheet of paper and divide it into three columns. Then you need to take a pen and enter your “advantages,” “strengths,” and “achievements” into the resulting fields. Important! After filling out the fields, re-read what you wrote, and also constantly remind yourself of what you are good at. - " With hope for the future ." This exercise is similar to the previous one. You just need to enter in the fields those qualities and achievements that you do not yet possess, but want to possess.
- " Financial success ." Mentally acquire a solid capital. Imagine that you are a financially successful and independent person. Think about what you would do, how you would spend your weekend, how you would manage your capital, and what you would buy with your free money. Do not go beyond even in your fantasies, imagining yourself as a billionaire or a current king. Otherwise, it will be difficult to experience financial success as a new reality.
- " Authoritative advisor ." Need to make a difficult decision? Imagine that you are discussing this decision with a positive, wise and successful person. Ask him questions and try to predict how he would answer. And then give appropriate advice for him.
How to practice positive thinking is shown in the video:
Technique 1. How to get rid of bad thoughts in your head
You think negative thoughts and feel accordingly. But what are your thoughts? As a rule, you regret the past, blame yourself, or are afraid of the future, and feel inferior.
Thoughts are usually directed towards the past or future. Where do you live? Present. If you concentrate precisely on the Here-And-Now moment, then thoughts will disappear. There will be lightness, clarity and ringing silence in your head.
A simple phrase
To find yourself in this state, there is a simple trick. Vadim Zeland offers a short but effective phrase. Just tell yourself: “I see myself and I see reality.” Try to cover not only your inner world, but also your outer world. Look at these two screens at the same time. This will help you set yourself up for the good and remove bad thoughts from your head.
Become aware of your surroundings
Or try to feel the space around you. You are used to feeling only your body. And, in most cases, you only feel the head. It is like a cage, your thoughts are cramped in it, and your head starts to hurt.
Watch your attention. Cover your whole body with it, cover the space around the body, saturate the objects nearby with your attention. Try to feel the space at least 1 meter around you.
This will automatically “throw you out” into the present, THIS moment. The brain, out of habit, will throw up various thoughts. Let them come and go. Keep your attention on the space around you.
Background positive thinking
Remember, memorize and constantly repeat three phrases:
- I can.
- I will.
- I'm worthy.
For example, not “I feel very bad and I have problems,” but “Even though it’s not too easy for me to deal with problems now, but I will do it and will be able to overcome them.”
Other settings will also help lift your spirits:
- “I am cheerful and happy, regardless of external circumstances.”
- "I admire myself."
- “Everything that happens is for the better.”
- “I can and want to be responsible for everything that happens to me.”
- “I don’t hold any grudges against those who abused me.”
- “I am loved, valued and respected.”
- “My thoughts shape my best life.”
- "I'm happy in the moment."
- “I managed to learn how to switch from negative to positive and maintain this state.”
- “Every day is a new opportunity to become better.”
- “I enjoy even the little things.”
- “I can handle any task.”
- “I choose a happy life without negativity.”
Technique instructions
Easy-to-follow instructions will allow you to quickly get out of depression and return to positive thinking, take over your emotions and reconfigure them.
Objective assessment of thoughts:
- Stop shifting responsibility for your life to others, external factors, bad luck, bad aura, etc. Understand that only you are responsible for how your destiny turns out. And by deciding to fall asleep with bad thoughts, you also influence your life. First of all, realize that you are thinking in a negative way. The problem needs to be acknowledged. Then the understanding will come that the problem can be solved. And it will immediately become easier.
- Appreciate all the benefits of positive thinking. Imagine how your life will change for the better after you radically change your mindset. Think about the benefits you will get, how much easier it will be for you to encounter difficulties and how easily you will overcome them. If you realize the benefits of a positive attitude, you will have the motivation necessary to maintain it.
- Keep a special journal for reflection. In this diary, reflect on everything that aroused vivid emotions in you during the day, interested you, attracted you, made you happy or angry. This way you can analyze your emotions and look at situations from different angles over time, trying to find a positive perspective even in negative moments. At the end of the week, re-read your entries for the last seven days and write down the thoughts that prevailed most often. This way you can see the dynamics of the transition to positive thinking.
Fighting destructive thinking:
- Identify destructive thoughts that appear in your head involuntarily. They are the ones who prevent you from changing your way of thinking and slow down your transition to the “light side.” For example, a colleague warned you that inspectors will come to the office tomorrow. The thought of being fired and panic is destructive. After all, you are a specialist and know your job, and thanks to information from a colleague, you can prepare in advance and get ready for the test. Isn't that a positive thing? Once you begin to notice destructive and pessimistic thoughts, it will be easier to stop them.
- Analyze all your thoughts . Try to understand when a situation is actually sad, and when exactly you are presenting it in such a light. Also, by shifting the blame for your failures to your neighbors, colleagues, bosses and the government, try to understand whether you are really a victim of circumstances or whether your negative thinking has once again played a cruel joke on you. Stop yourself as soon as you feel a surge of negativity and start analyzing your thoughts. How accurate are they lenses? You can even write down a thought on a piece of paper and then read it out loud, imagining that another person is doing it. What is your reaction now?
- Replace negativity with positivity . When you can not only notice, but also analyze thoughts, you can begin to introduce replacement thoughts. For every bad thought that hinders your success, try to replace it with an antipode (a positive thought on the same topic). For example, when you feel like you can’t handle a complex report, stop yourself. Then remember that you have enough time left, that you have submitted a report more than once, that in your third year of university you wrote a brilliant essay in just 4 hours and have the skills to work with a database and large amounts of information.
- Try to minimize external stimuli . Excessive stress is of no use to you, because it only contributes to the imbalance of emotions, over which you are so confidently trying to gain control. Instead of heavy and loud music, listen to something light and pleasant, and replace watching horror films with reading good and exciting books.
- Stop dividing the world into black and white. This (polarized) approach will not work in your favor. After all, everything that does not fall into the “white” category will be classified as “black”. You shouldn’t paint life in mournful colors with your own hands. There are also many greys, light greys, off-whites and off-blacks.
To escape polarized thinking, you need to understand and accept that the world is not divided into two poles.It is also necessary to expand your horizons and be interested in other people's points of view in order to replenish your baggage of opinions and assessments. For example, if a work inspection is planned the day after tomorrow, this does not mean that based on its results you will become the best employee of the company or will be fired. Perhaps the test will be canceled, you will get an average score, or during the test you will be sent to a conference. The variety of “intermediate” outcomes of events is simply enormous.
Technique 2. Positive thinking: how to be happy every day
What moments in life do you enjoy most? What activities bring you pleasure?
Now I’m talking about unnoticed little things that lift your spirits, relax you and help you feel at least a little happier.
For example, I like to bake pies, play badminton, walk in the forest, look at the rainbow. These are all ordinary things, but they give me pleasure.
And there are a lot of such little things, you’re just not used to paying attention to them. But now, take a notepad or open notes on your phone and write down everything that comes to your mind. Let there be at least 20-30 points there. Remember them.
And now, when bad thoughts come into your head, just stop thinking about them. Switch to pleasant ones. Remember how you stroke your cat and she purrs, for example. Thinking about bad things is just a habit. Get yourself a new one: think about pleasant things.
Affirmations also help a lot. The most powerful ones are in this article (opens in a new window).
Formation of optimistic attitudes
Pay attention to your health and give up bad habits.
After all, in order for positive thoughts to settle in your head, you need to feel comfortable. It’s hard to feel joy if your head is pounding all day from the amount of alcohol you drank at a party, and in the middle of the night you get the cough of a seasoned smoker. When you take care of yourself and your condition, your thoughts will also begin to restructure. Therefore, keep your posture, regularly attend preventive examinations, play sports, give up junk food (or reduce it to a minimum), learn to get proper rest and smile more often (a practice for men and women).
Unleash the creator within you . Creativity helps not only calm your thoughts and boost creativity, but also set you in a positive mood. The process, which is based on creation, will “tune” thinking in the best possible way.
Spend at least 30 minutes three times a week bringing your ideas to life. And don't be afraid to experiment! Try to realize your craziest creative ideas. It will be fun. And in the future, it may even help you become a great inventor, artist or sculptor. Who knows how far your imagination will take you.
Set realistic goals for yourself . This doesn't mean you should give up on your wildest dreams. This means that in everyday life and short distance races you should not raise the bar, trying to achieve unrealistic goals. Otherwise, you will only be disappointed because you were unable to achieve what you wanted. And a stream of pessimism will overwhelm you.
To prevent big goals from scaring you and becoming a dead weight on your list of planned achievements, divide them into small tasks.
Communicate with positive people and clear your space of negativity.
An interlocutor who constantly complains, whines and blames everyone around him, talks about how unfair life is, can easily lure you to his side. Therefore, reach out to people who are charged with positivity and share good emotions with everyone around. Of course, it is not always possible to remove unpleasant, negative and angry people from life. But you can reduce communication with them to a minimum. Even if it's your colleague. Just gradually reduce the number of your personal contacts with him and contact him only on work matters, without offending or pushing the person away in a rude manner.
Live joyfully . Listen to the sound of wind and rain, rejoice at the first snow, take five minutes to drink aromatic coffee, look around when walking through a forest or meadow, do something nice for your loved ones, accept compliments with pleasure and do not hesitate to give them to others, allow yourself little pranks and always stay a little bit childish.
Humor and a light-hearted attitude to life sometimes help you get away with it. Therefore, do not kill your lightness and sincere laughter.
Live in the current moment . You shouldn’t drag around a suitcase with old grievances, problems and worries. The events of the past days cannot be replayed. But it’s very easy to spoil your mood with constant worries. Look back at your past one last time, analyze it and draw conclusions. Understand that anything happens in life and move on, leaving the burden of sorrows behind you.
You can’t live in the future either, because it will never come. Physically, you will always be present in the present, in today. Therefore, be sure to plan, dream and think about a plan of action several steps ahead, but do not forget about the present. Live now, please yourself when your soul requires it and, if possible, fulfill your dreams today.
Also, don't worry about potential problems that don't exist yet.
What awaits us ahead is a mystery. And this riddle should not poison your everyday life and hang over you like an evil rock.
Read the article on how to develop abstract thinking, and follow the link to teach logic to preschoolers.
Technique 4. How not to think about bad things
When you do nothing, thoughts create real chaos in your head. You begin to become emotionally invested in them, inflate them and feel worse and worse.
Therefore, as soon as you notice that thoughts begin to flow in a negative direction and carry you along with them, do something. Don't know what? Do some exercise, go for a run in the park.
In general, physical activity really helps relieve the brain. In addition, more oxygen enters the body and blood circulates actively. This eliminates tension and improves not only physical, but also emotional well-being.
Tips and Cautions
“Positivity begets positivity” and “negativity begets negativity .
A person who is open and easy-going, ready to help and support others, smiles and does not take a judgmental position, receives a proportional response. And rude and arrogant people inevitably face rejection from others.
Laugh and don't be shy about your laughter. Smiling or laughing sends a signal to your body that everything is fine. Laughter relieves tension, relieves stress, helps to abstract from problems and look at them from the outside. Laughter also brings people together.
When your mood tends to zero, it is important to think about how many good things happened during the day . And how many bad things could have happened, but did not happen.
It is important to develop verbal and logical thinking from an early age.