Fear of relationships with men, fear of falling in love, sex, kissing, fear of women, girls, serious close and intimate relationships: symptoms, causes and treatment of phobias

People remain alone for various reasons. Experts say that recently cases of phobias of relationships with the opposite sex have become more frequent. This is due to the immaturity of people, the reluctance to take responsibility for their other half, the increased anxiety and constant stress that residents of big cities experience. To overcome a dangerous phobia, you should contact a professional psychologist. A timely diagnosis will help you move in the right direction.

In the modern world, people are afraid to take responsibility

How to get rid of phobias and fears on your own: advice from a psychologist

First, determine what kind of phobia you have. Then read what thoughts trigger it. Tune in to the right way of thinking, get rid of obsessive ones.
Then each phobia requires an individual approach. However, when choosing your method of getting rid of a phobia, do not forget to check the tips in the article.

First, determine what phobia you have

Fear of men - androphobia: symptoms, causes

Causes:

Unpleasant experiences from the past. They are associated with failed relationships.
Family. If the relationship between the parents was bad and the mother constantly condemned the father in front of her daughter.
The phobia arises from watching films where men show cruelty and anger in relationships.
Confidence in your unattractiveness.

Fear of men - androphobia
How to express it:

A woman constantly feels falsehood in the courtship of men. It seems to her that behind all their attempts to establish communication there is a hidden desire to take possession of her and abandon her.
She feels anxious in places where there are a lot of men.
For her, the word man is associated with selfishness and arrogance.
A woman susceptible to this phobia is too critical of men. Finds many shortcomings in them.
She often considers herself a feminist. Constantly seeks out facts of violation of women's rights by men.

A woman feels anxious in places where there are a lot of men.
Ways to solve the problem:

Acknowledge your fear. And don’t try to hide it behind the fact that men are “bad.”
After the first point, consult a psychologist. With the help of hypnosis or conversations, he will help you look at men as ordinary people.

Let go of old grudges against men:

You can write letters in which you express all your worries because of them. Of course, such letters should not be sent to this address.
Encourage and support yourself. Every day, consciously do not allow yourself to criticize your actions.
Practice communicating with men.

Let go of old grudges against men

Fight or loneliness: a choice when you are afraid of relationships

Everyone understands that first of all you need to fight and not hide behind politics, that you fundamentally do not want to start a family.

To combat uncertainty and eradicate the problem, experts advise not just turning to a professional, but also using special exercises. Meditation, auto-training, the ability to get yourself out of a stressful state and stop perceiving new relationships as something scary. If you don’t know how to stop being afraid of relationships, then find videos with special meditations on the Internet. Experienced psychologists with a reputation and name have entire sets of developed methods that take clients out of a state of fear and uncertainty. For example, here.

Fear of falling in love - philophobia: symptoms, causes

Causes:

Finding an ideal partner who has only positive qualities.
The loss of a loved one and the idealization of his personality. This makes new relationships impossible.
Unsuccessful relationships with the opposite sex. The previous partner was rude or cruel.
Adolescent trauma. Unrequited love, suffered from 12 to 18 years. During this period, failures are usually perceived more painfully than by adults.
Family problems. If a child has often seen scandals and humiliation in his family, the opposite sex becomes unpleasant for him.

Fear of falling in love - philophobia
What increases philophobia?

Low self-esteem
Fear of losing personal freedom
Fear of taking responsibility for decisions made

How to express it:

Philophobes are afraid to have close relationships with people of the opposite sex. People often have no idea about this phobia. He creates his own comfortable little world into which he does not allow outsiders. This world consists of a lifestyle convenient for the philophobe.
The stronger the philophobia, the more difficult it is for a person to share his feelings and emotions.
A person either tries to be alone, or is constantly in a noisy company, in a crowded place.

Philophobes are afraid to have close relationships with people of the opposite sex

A philophobe can be sloppy and cares little about his appearance. Or go to the other extreme: pay a lot of attention to your appearance.

Ways to solve the problem:

Realize the hidden benefits that philophobia gives you. To do this, you can use the technique from the video at the end of this subtopic about philophobia. Such benefits may include: protection from the loss of a loved one, protection of personal space and freedom, and protection from disappointment.
Become more attentive to your behavior. Notice those moments when you are driven by philophobia. Awareness of the problem is the first step to solving it.

Realize the hidden benefits of philophobia

Boost your self-esteem. To do this, praise yourself even for small successes. At the end or beginning of each day, note five of your positive qualities.
Develop positive thinking. To do this, every day remember five happy events of the past day and five of your achievements. And also find five positive qualities in people you don’t like at the moment. Read books by Luza Hay or A. Sviyash.
Try to communicate with new people more often, travel.
Do familiar things in an unusual environment. For example, take your morning walks in a new, unknown area.

Boost your self-esteem

Why are women afraid to build relationships with men?

Fear of relationships is inherent in representatives of both sexes, but women, due to their greater emotionality, suffer much more in case of failure. You cannot build a strong relationship if you do not trust your chosen one and are not ready to forget about all doubts.

You can fight the fear of relationships, but first you need to understand the reasons for its occurrence:

Negative experience. Most often, a woman is afraid to build a new relationship if she already has a sad experience. If the past is replete with disappointments in the representatives of the stronger sex, then possible future chosen ones will be primarily wary. No woman wants to face the negative echoes of the past again. Betrayal, deception, broken hopes - you want to avoid all this in any possible way. The fear of negative experiences is sometimes so strong that women prefer to avoid romantic relationships for as long as possible.
Fear of losing yourself. Any serious relationship requires both lovers to be willing to constantly work on themselves, fight their shortcomings and take care of their loved one. The needs and desires of the partner also play a big role; a person in love is ready to sacrifice his interests in order to please his chosen one. And this is precisely what another fear consists of – the fear of losing oneself. When you begin to live for the sake of your loved one and put other people’s desires above your own, sooner or later you can dissolve in him. Not all women will be happy about the idea of living in the shadow of their beloved man. Many representatives of the fair sex are very sensitive to their individual space and personal freedom, so they do not strive to build relationships. There is a strong fear of losing control over the situation.
Diffidence. Not all women can boast of healthy self-esteem; many have unreasonable self-doubt. Any relationship requires maximum openness and constant work on yourself. But doubts about yourself and your attractiveness prevent you from fully enjoying life. You cannot protect yourself from failures in relationships, but you can change your attitude towards them. You should be prepared for the fact that you will have to be disappointed in men more than once before you meet the perfect one. But, unfortunately, any negative experience only makes a woman believe more strongly in her own inferiority, and she comes to the conclusion that it is better not to look for the man of her dreams at all, because then she will not be afraid of being left with a broken heart.
Fear of responsibility. A relationship with a loved one is not only about romantic dinners and waking up together in the morning. A strong relationship, first of all, is a great responsibility, the presence of which each of the partners must realize. In a relationship, you have to put up with other people's imperfections, get used to other people's habits and struggle with your own shortcomings. Many women almost completely change their character in the hope of making the best impression on their chosen one. But this requires truly enormous effort and patience. Not every person is ready for such responsibility, because living only for yourself and realizing only your plans is much easier. Fear of responsibility in this case can serve as a serious reason for abandoning the relationship altogether.
Fear of being rejected. One of the most common reasons for fear of relationships is the fear of rejection. Almost every woman has experienced unrequited love at least once in her life. If she decided to make a confession to a potential lover, and he refused or ridiculed her, then this could become a strong psychological trauma. Fear of rejection often leads to the creation of psychological barriers, expressed in loss of trust in other people and wariness.

Fear of women, girls - gynecophobia (gynephobia, feminophobia, gynophobia): symptoms, causes

Causes:

A cruel, domineering, or hot-tempered mother. Or she changed her mood quickly.
The father is weak and weak-willed.
Unpleasant personal experience. A personal unsuccessful relationship or simply an unpleasant situation involving a woman. Sometimes ladies act tense and aggressive with men because of past disappointments or bad stereotypes. Therefore, a man immediately faces the unpleasant side of girls.

Gynephobia
How it is expressed:

Unpleasant sensations when trying to start a conversation with a girl. This could be anxiety or a strong feeling of fear.
Fear of being the first to start dating, even if the girl is pretty.
A gynecophobe tries to communicate with women as little as possible. Next to them he feels weak and unprotected.
When communicating with women, feminophobes can be rude and arrogant. They try to emphasize their superiority.
Gynecophobes are afraid to enter into intimate contact.

Feminophobia
Ways to solve the problem:

You can consult a psychologist. But only if your phobia does not respond to your own treatment.
Try to get to know the girls better. The unknown is scary. And if there is no uncertainty, starting communication will be easier each time.
Understand that girls are people just like you. They have their own complexes and fears.
Practice communicating with girls more often.

Understand that girls are people just like you.

Don't be afraid of rejection. Someone's “no” is not at all a confirmation of your unattractiveness. This is just a sign that somewhere there is an even more interesting and beautiful girl who will say “yes” to you.
Try to get rid of negative experiences from the past associated with girls. Imagine that a girl who once offended you tells you her story. Remember, any aggression is evidence of a person’s complexes and fears. Mentally see how the girl says that she is sorry, that she herself felt bad, that’s why she did what she did.

Get rid of negative experiences from the past

Fear of a serious relationship in a woman

Ladies are afraid of new or serious relationships. But the reasons for women are different:

The lady became a victim of violence. Intimacy, connection with a man is an insult. This thought becomes a stop signal for marriage and love.
Fear of a breakup. A conscious reason is typical for divorced women whose parents divorced in childhood.
Strict or religious upbringing in childhood.
Inferiority complex and lack of self-confidence.
Violence in family. As a child, the girl observed her father’s aggression - marriage is scary for her on a subconscious level, and here she cannot do without the help of a psychologist.

A common reason for fear of getting married, starting a family, or loving is public opinion. What people will say, how they will perceive their partner. The opinions of others, especially loved ones, prevent a woman from concentrating, understanding and realizing her future partner. The psychologist will help the client get rid of addiction and teach him not to listen to the opinion of the majority to the detriment of personal comfort.

Fear of kissing - philemaphobia: symptoms, causes

Causes:

Fear of appearing awkward and inexperienced
Fear of unpleasant sensations
Fear of losing control over yourself and the situation
Unpleasant sensations when someone is in your personal space
Once upon a time, a guy/girl a person was kissing made fun of his kissing style.
Unpleasant memories of someone kissing you against your will
Sometimes philemaphobia is closely related to the fear of becoming infected with other people's germs (bacteriophobia)
Fear of being rejected or being rejected

fear of kissing - philemaphobia
As expressed:

Philemophobes are afraid of relationships and try to avoid contacts with the opposite sex
When thinking about kissing, these people feel dizzy and nauseous. They are shaking and very stressed
Looking at a simple scene in a movie with a kiss or at a kissing couple, philemophobe feels fear and disgust

When thinking about kisses, philemophobes feel dizzy and nauseous.
Ways to solve the problem:

Realize: your partner loves you. And any kiss will be pleasant for him, simply because he will kiss you.
Consult a psychologist.
If you have fear of the first kiss, then once you kiss you will no longer experience it.
Understand that refusing a kiss is not a big deal. Make attempts to start new relationships often. Then refusals will stop scaring you.
If you are a man, remember that a woman may refuse a kiss due to coquetry or shyness.

Your partner loves you

Read about the hidden sexual signals of women and men to know whether you should try to kiss or not.
Don't try to learn how to kiss using manuals and instructions. Each person is unique and individual. Everyone has their own preferences in kissing. So just be observant during the process. Try to feel whether your partner likes what you do - or not.
If you are afraid of bad breath, then remember a few simple rules. The smell from dental diseases like caries or tartar cannot be masked, only cured. To make your breath smell good before kissing, chew chewing gum for 10 minutes. You can read more about treating bad breath in this section.

Everyone has their own preferences in kissing

Sources of fear

"Wounded Attachment"

What kind of habit do psychologists have - delving into our childhood? There's nothing to be done; in many cases, the origins of our behavior originate there. For example, in relationships with significant adults, a child develops a certain type of attachment, based on which, as an adult, he will build relationships with his partner.

Analyze what is typical for you in relationships. Trust, open up, thank, take and give in approximately equal measure? Or wait for a catch, test your strength, check, suspect and worry? Or just try not to get close, close yourself at the slightest “encroachment” on intimacy, and run away when the opportunity arises?

"Life according to the anti-script"

Often a person does not “go” into a relationship so as not to repeat the mistakes of his parents. For example, “Mom and Dad never lived a day without a quarrel, but I don’t want that.” Such a motive can be either unconscious or completely conscious. But even in the latter case, when a person seems to understand everything, he, as a rule, cannot answer the question of why he cannot build his own relationships differently. There is a feeling of being “bewitched”, as if you are doomed to do only one way and not another.

In both the first and second cases, there is often a temptation to “give” responsibility for everything that happens to me to my mom and dad.

This should not be done, if only because by giving your responsibility to someone else, you deprive yourself of the opportunity to change something. If someone is to blame, then I am no longer the master of my life. But if the responsibility for my life belongs to me, I can change something. And that means there is hope.

“I’ve already tried all this”

Past bad experiences can also cause fear of new relationships. And the next attempt is always to overcome yourself. It is worth remembering that no one is programmed for “unsuccessful” novels and marriages.

But if you feel that some things are repeated over and over again, that you seem to be stepping on the same rake, this is a reason to go to a consultation with a psychologist and try to analyze what is happening. It happens that even the very awareness of a certain pattern of behavior is enough to ensure that the situation does not repeat itself.

Fear of sex and sexual relationships - genophobia: symptoms, causes

IMPORTANT: The fear of showing one’s inexperience in a young woman/young man should not be confused with erotophobia. It can be overcome by gaining experience over time.

Causes:

Severe pain when losing virginity
Past violence
Negative attitudes from childhood. The mother or grandmother who said sex was dangerous and dirty
Complexes due to the fact that a person is convinced that he is ugly
Your partner's sarcastic comments about your sexual relationship

fear of sex - genophobia
As expressed:

A person tries to avoid intimacy, refuses, making up excuses.
In severe cases, he tries not to have a relationship at all.

Ways to solve the problem:

If you are embarrassed about your body, understand a simple truth. Your partner loves you and your body is perfect for him.
Decide to practice more often. Over time, the fear will pass.

Your partner loves you and your body is perfect for him

Fear of serious relationships

Fear of a serious relationship gives rise to convinced bachelors and spinsters. These people prove that life is better without a family, there is more freedom, fewer problems, and personal space is not violated. But this life belief is a serious psychological problem, and you cannot get rid of it without the intervention of a specialist.

A man imagines a serious relationship as a series of ceremonies, starting from the bride’s meeting with her parents, ending with the wedding and permanent cohabitation. This is associated with losing your comfort zone.

If you are afraid of relationships after failure in the past and a breakup, then turning to a psychologist is also the best way out. The specialist will help you get out of the stressful state and orient you towards the possibility of letting a new partner in.

Fear of sex - erotophobia: symptoms, causes

causes:

Violence
Convincing adults that sex is dirty or shameful
Unpleasant personal experience

Ways to solve the problem:

Contact a psychologist or undergo psychological training.
Think about the advantages of successful sex: incredible sensations, improved relationships with your partner, health improvement and positive emotions.
Talk to your partner, discuss the problem. Ask him to be more gentle with you.

Fear of sex - erotophobia

Fear of first intimacy - intimate phobia: symptoms, causes

Causes:

Not knowing how to behave
Belief in rumors that first sex is most often unsuccessful and embarrassing
(In the case of girls) Fear that after sex, the guy will lose interest

How it manifests itself:

A person tries to avoid contacts with the opposite sex.
Avoids relationships and is afraid to fall in love, because... knows that the relationship will have to go through sex.

Belief in rumors that first sex is most often unsuccessful and embarrassing.
Ways to solve the problem:

Get rid of the attitude that not knowing about sex and being inexperienced is shameful. This is your first time. Not knowing much about something you've never done is not a bad thing.
Honestly tell your significant other the truth about the fact that you are having sex for the first time.
Be sure to protect yourself and make your sex safe. Then you won’t have to regret the first time.

Honestly tell your significant other the truth about the fact that you are having sex for the first time.

Relax and get ready to have fun. Think about the pleasant sex that characters in movies, books, or people you know had. You can do it too!
(For women and girls) Mentally thank your fear for trying to protect you. And let him go. Realize that your partner will help you and become your protection. An incentive to get rid of fear will also be the fact that it itself can become a cause of pain. The emotional and muscular tightness that fear causes will cause pain.

Fear of first intimacy - intimate phobia

Symptoms of a phobia

There are many different symptoms of this disorder. Typically they vary from person to person. They are divided into two categories: psychological and physical.

As for psychological symptoms, some people are afraid of any attachment and run away from it. At the same time, convincing myself: I am afraid of relationships and any manifestation of romance.

Others may enter into an alliance, but they end up becoming possessive or jealous.

Psychological symptoms also include:

feeling powerless and confused in your emotions and personal life;
severe anxiety and nervousness;
maximum suppression of internal experiences;
completely avoiding places where couples meet, such as parks and movie theaters;
avoidance of marriage and other wedding ceremonies;
isolation from the outside world.

Read more: Body and gesture language: how a man in love behaves

Physical signs of the disorder include trembling, rapid heartbeat, fainting, chest pain, sweating, numbness, breathing problems, and nausea.

Panic and anxiety attacks are also common. The patient suffers from frequent dizziness, a desire to run away from everyone and cry for no reason.

Fear of getting a sexually transmitted disease - venerophobia: symptoms, causes

Causes:

Personal experience of contact with a person infected with sexually transmitted diseases
Understanding that sex can be unsafe
Erroneous information taken from unreliable sources
Misconceptions learned from friends

How it manifests itself:

Any discomfort in the intimate area causes fear and panic in a winephobe. Even harmless inflammation seems to him the beginning of a venereal disease.
A person who has once suffered a sexually transmitted disease becomes distrustful. It always seems to him that the recovery is not yet complete.

Fear of getting a sexually transmitted disease - venerophobia

Vinerophobe is afraid of any sexual contact and avoids it.
In serious cases, thoughts about sex cause panic. It is manifested by rapid breathing, increased pulse, and severe weakness. The same thing is repeated when the possibility of sex arises.

Ways to solve the problem:

First of all, sincerely wish to get well. Find the positives in sex and the benefits it finds.

First of all, sincerely wish you to get well

Choose a gentle, patient doctor. He should calmly and patiently answer all your questions about your health.
Take all the necessary tests and make sure that you do not have sexually transmitted diseases.

Fear of beautiful women

Causes:

Lack of self-confidence, inferiority complex
The stereotype that beautiful women will always try to take over a man
Fear of Rejection
The stereotype that beautiful women are stupid and selfish

How to express it:

At the sight of a beautiful girl, a person experiences shortness of breath, dizziness, and rapid heartbeat.

The cause of fear is lack of self-confidence

A man feels uncomfortable in the company of a beautiful girl.
A man communicates well with girls of ordinary appearance, but panics when communicating with beauties.
In cases of severe phobia, a man may run away from the place where a beautiful woman is.

A man feels uncomfortable in the company of a beautiful girl.
Ways to solve the problem:

If the guy is still a teenager, then this phobia will most likely go away with time.
Contact a psychologist. Find out what event from the past caused this phobia.
Take a self-esteem course.
Learn affirmations about self-love and repeat them to yourself during phobia attacks.

Find out what event from the past caused this phobia

How to overcome relationship fear?

If you are afraid of relationships, you have recognized the existence of such a problem, here are ways to deal with fear:

Auto-training, increasing self-esteem with exercises.
Refuse to be a victim, a loser.
Analyze your fears and fight them.
Forgive your parents and stop being offended.
To love, to perceive yourself as you are.

The problem is deeper, you can’t cope - it’s better to contact a qualified specialist. An experienced psychologist-hypnologist, such as Nikita Valerievich Baturin, can easily get rid of the fear of a serious relationship.

Treatment of phobias with hypnosis

Briefly, hypnosis treats phobias according to the following scheme:

The hypnotist finds in the patient’s subconscious the root cause of his panic and fear.
With the help of attitude and suggestion, the client accepts the painful event. Stops clinging to him. Forms a new, positive model of behavior. Returns to reality as a different, better person.

The hypnotist finds the root cause of his panic in the patient’s subconscious