Increased anxiety in a child

Anxiety disorders

- These are neurosis-like mental states, the main symptom of which is a feeling of anxiety.

Such conditions differ from the usual fears and anxieties that can always be observed in children during their development. Feelings of fear, danger, anxiety are the most important adaptive signals in the psyche of every person and accompany us throughout our lives. But in certain cases, the mechanisms that regulate the intensity and duration of anxiety fail and then the normal course of psycho-emotional development is disrupted.

Anxiety disorders can be of several types depending on their manifestation:

Social anxiety disorder

fears of meeting or communicating with people;
avoidance of social situations;
lack of friends outside the family

STORY

The girl Olya, 10 years old, was very often worried. Every morning she worried whether she would be late for school, although she always arrived at school on time. Every day she worried, did she put everything in her backpack? At night she worried about whether she had done her homework well and whether her clothes would look neat the next day?

Olya's parents thought this behavior was a typical part of growing up. Gradually, the girl began to study worse, was often in a depressed mood, and her relationships with her friends went wrong. Unable to influence their daughter, to change her attitude to what was happening, the parents decided that it was time to talk with a specialist about how to find a way to help Olya cope with her anxiety.

How does the condition manifest itself in preschool age?

Constant worry can develop in a child at any stage of life. Anxious children of preschool age constitute a large group that requires mandatory intervention from a specialist in the early stages.

Thus, children aged one to three years often experience nightmares. At two years old, the child reacts sharply to unexpected sounds, experiences fear of loneliness and pain, for example, reacts violently and for a long time to medical workers.

From three to five years old, children develop a massive fear of the dark, enclosed spaces or loneliness. One of the main causes of panic in children aged five to seven years is the fear of death.

Causes of anxiety disorders

It is difficult to name the exact cause of such a disorder in a child, as well as in an adult. Experts name a number of provoking factors:

Genetic predisposition.
Having an anxiety disorder in a parent increases the risk of similar symptoms in a child.
Stressful life circumstances.
Events in a child’s life can become a starting point (trigger) for anxiety disorders in childhood or adulthood: loss (death of a loved one or divorce of parents), life changes (moving to a new city, changing schools, going to kindergarten). Children who have experienced abuse are more likely to have anxiety disorders.
Upbringing
. Growing up in a home where other family members are constantly anxious can teach a child to view the world as a dangerous place. If a child grows up in a truly dangerous environment (domestic violence), he may experience excessive stress, fear and expect the worst.

Why does it happen?

The main causes of anxiety in a child under 6 years of age are difficult relationships with parents. This is especially true for boys. The degree of anxiety in parents is largely reflected in the similar state of the child. The use of an authoritarian parenting style, excessive demands on the child, or comparing him with others significantly increases anxiety. Anxiety often occurs as a result of neuroses and other mental disorders.

The main reasons for this condition include:

lack of feeling of safety in the child;
pushing away the baby by adults, their hostility;
unfavorable family environment;
poor financial resources of the family;
discrepancy between the parents’ requirements and the child’s real capabilities;
inadequate demands of adults towards the baby;
increased levels of anxiety in parents;
adults presenting demands that contradict each other;
parents are unable to maintain consistency in raising a child;
authoritarian parenting;
excessive emotionality of parents;
constant comparison of the child with peers;
the desire of parents to meet generally accepted standards.

Helping an anxious child

Anxiety disorders in children are dealt with by mental health specialists: psychologists, psychotherapists, psychiatrists. The specialist analyzes the symptoms, diagnoses a specific anxiety disorder, and outlines a plan to help the child.

Through work with a psychologist, children learn to think and act differently in situations that may cause anxiety, as well as cope with stress. The specialist provides support and guidance. Sometimes drug treatment is necessary.

External manifestations of anxiety and restlessness in children

Increased anxiety has different manifestations: rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing, increased sweating, tension in the body, nausea. An anxious child may not let you go one step at a time, begin to stutter, cry, or become hysterical. He develops sleep problems, increased fatigue, and health problems.

But anxiety is not always something negative. Feelings of fear motivate us or help us avoid danger and conflict. But if increased anxiety interferes with normal life, then you should pay close attention to this problem.

How parents can help

The best way to help your child is to acknowledge the problem and provide support without criticism. Try to observe more carefully what causes difficulties for your child in everyday life and how he reacts to them.
Contact a specialist to assess the child's condition.
Be patient and positive if psychotherapy . In the process, the child will learn new ways of coping with anxiety.
Sometimes it helps to talk to your child about your own stresses and how you were able to overcome them.
Rest assured that with the right approach, your child will be able to overcome anxiety , learn to look into the future without unnecessary stress, and realize their full potential.

Symptoms of increased anxiety in a child

Most anxious children at an early age simply cannot explain their problems, and in adolescence they persistently deny them. Therefore, it is important to notice the first somatic signs in time. Here is a short list of them (without classification into different types of anxiety disorders):

hot flashes or chills;

tremor or shaking;

cardiopalmus;

chest discomfort or pain;

feeling of a lump in the throat;

difficulty breathing;

fainting or dizziness;

muscle tension;

numbness or tingling;

feeling of “emptiness in the head”;

a feeling of the unreality of objects or the separation of one’s own “I”.

Then double-check your observations using the questionnaire (authors Lavrentyeva G.P. and Titarenko T.M.), where each positive answer will be counted as 1 point:

Your child cannot work for a long time without getting tired;

He has difficulty concentrating;

Any task causes unnecessary anxiety;

Very tense and constrained while performing tasks;

Feels embarrassed more often than others;

Often talks about tense situations;

Typically turns red or pale in unfamiliar surroundings;

He complains that he has terrible dreams;

His hands are usually cold and damp;

Often suffers from stool disorders;

sweats a lot when excited;

Does not have a good appetite;

Has difficulty falling asleep, sleeps restlessly;

He is timid and fears many things;

Usually restless, easily upset;

Often cannot hold back tears;

Does not tolerate waiting well;

Does not like to take on new business;

Not confident in himself and his abilities;

Afraid to face difficulties.

If the total number of points reaches 15-20 points, then your child has increased anxiety; 7-14 points - average; 1-6 points - low.

Having received a sad verdict, do not panic. Unlike behavioral disorders, anxiety in children tends to subside as they get older. However, you shouldn’t turn a blind eye to it on the principle that “it will go away on its own.” According to experts, children with increased anxiety are at risk. A small proportion will continue to have anxiety disorder in adulthood, and some will develop depressive states. There is no need to explain how this will affect their success in life.

Prevention of increased anxiety or 10 “don’ts”

Threaten the child with impossible punishments (“I’m ready to kill you”) or excommunication from the family (“I’ll give you to the gray wolf, and I’ll take a good boy for myself”). Remember that for the baby you are omnipotent, and he is absolutely sure that you are able to carry out any threat. Threaten the child with impossible punishments (“I’m ready to kill you”) or excommunication from the family (“I’ll give you to the gray wolf, and I’ll take a good boy for myself”). Remember that for the baby you are omnipotent, and he is absolutely sure that you are able to carry out any threat.

Threaten the child with impossible punishments (“I’m ready to kill you”) or excommunication from the family (“I’ll give you to the gray wolf, and I’ll take a good boy for myself”). Remember that for the baby you are omnipotent, and he is absolutely sure that you are able to carry out any threat.

Yelling at a child, especially in the presence of other people.

Use language that humiliates the child or lowers his self-esteem.

Compare him with other children, both in good and bad behavior.

Continuously criticize. Do an experiment. Write down every comment you make to your child during the day, and re-read the list before bed. Most of them will turn out to be of the same type and petty, did not bring any benefit and only damaged your relationship.

Make excessive demands without taking into account the individual characteristics of the child.

Demand an apology for any wrongdoing. Sometimes it is more useful for the child to honestly explain his reason.

Requires courage. Take your time and give your child time to get used to the new situation and people.

Force them to compete with other children. Especially in games where speed in completing tasks is required.

Undermine the authority of other significant adults. (“Just listen to me! Your teachers don’t understand anything!”)

Recommendations for reducing anxiety or 10 “musts”

If you notice signs of anxiety in your child, make every effort to correct your behavior.

Call your child by name often and maintain eye contact when speaking.

Increase the number of tactile contacts. Affectionate touches help restore trust in the world.

Celebrate his successes often and preferably publicly (for example, at a family dinner). Remember that there is always a reason for praise. It is enough to notice the little things that your child does better than yesterday.

Organize parties at home and invite your classmates to them. Even your presence in another room will have a beneficial effect on an anxious child. He will feel more confident than all alone at school, and this will gradually change the opinion of his peers about him. Believe me, this is extremely important for him, even if he doesn’t admit it.

Be consistent with rewards and punishments. Imagine how disoriented and frightened your child is if yesterday you only glanced at the half-eaten porridge, and today you shouted for the same thing.

Follow your own rules and do not forbid your child, without a valid explanation, to do something that he was previously allowed to do.

Achieve unanimity in requirements with your spouse and other adults who make up your child’s immediate environment.

Set an example of positive expectations for the future and demonstrate confident behavior.

Discuss learning and communication difficulties with your child, and jointly develop a strategy for moving towards success.

And the most important thing. If you are unable to maintain the desired line of behavior (especially repeating “10 is not allowed”), then seek help from a professional psychologist. The time has come to deal with the “ghosts” of your own childhood. At least for the sake of your child.

Rimma Kazantseva

Illustrations: Yulia Prososova

Decreased muscle tone

For restless guys, relaxation exercises are extremely useful. The list of recommendations for parents of anxious children includes massage sessions, yoga, and breathing exercises.

A great way to relieve increased anxiety in a child is to paint their face with unnecessary lipsticks or special paints. You can arrange a kind of masquerade or dress-up show. To do this, masks, costumes and other accessories are made together with children. Such an impromptu performance will relax the baby and bring a lot of pleasure.

How to play with anxious children?

When starting classes with an anxious child, you must adhere to the following rules:

A new game is introduced gradually, first explaining its rules. Then they clearly show how other children play it. A child is attracted only if he wants to become a participant.
It is recommended to avoid the competitive component of competitions.
When introducing a new game, you should remember that the child should not feel in danger from meeting the unknown. It is advisable to study on already familiar material. You can partially use the rules of a previously well-mastered game.
Blindfolded activities are introduced only after careful preparatory work and with the consent of the child.

Comprehensive behavior correction, attentive attitude of loved ones, a welcoming atmosphere in the family - all this will allow you to achieve positive dynamics and raise a self-confident child.

Recommendations for parents of anxious children

Experts advise taking into account the following recommendations:

Do not make excessive demands on your child.
Show your love for your baby as often as possible.
Praise your child publicly.
Do not say words that degrade the dignity of children.
Criticize less.
Don’t force them to apologize, but ask them to explain the reason for the offense.
Spend more time together.
Hug and hold your child's hand often.
Take an interest in the baby’s life, his opinions and feelings.
Be unanimous and consistent in raising your children.
Offer to help your child, but do not solve all the problems for him.
Share your childhood fears and difficult situations.

Organizing the lives of anxious children

For such guys, adherence to the regime is of great importance. They are not very fond of hygienic procedures, so it is important that bathing in the bath brings them pleasure. Let it be foam, toys, that is, what they like. It is better to hold off on health procedures and mastering swimming. Anxious children do not like to change clothes, so it is better to buy clothes for them that are comfortable, that are easy to take off and put on.

It is difficult to feed children with anxiety syndrome, so there is no need to prepare multi-component meals for them, let it be something simple and healthy.

It is difficult for an anxious child to interact in a group, so it is necessary to create conditions for him under which he can be among children. There is no need to force the baby, he should be gently guided.

Sometimes it is very difficult for parents to find a common language with their child, but if you sensitively respond to his feelings and requests, establish warm relationships, then over time he will begin to change for the better.

Prevention of anxiety

If parents want their child to grow up balanced, first of all it is necessary to create a favorable psychological environment in the family that promotes harmonious personal development. If you establish a trusting relationship with your baby from an early age, then the development of anxiety in him can be avoided.

Corrective work with anxious children, as well as preventive measures, include discussion of the child’s emerging problems, close communication, spending time together, walks, picnics, etc. Parents and children are brought together by a relaxed atmosphere, joint creativity, which allows them to relax.