This article was developed under the heading: Psychology.
Section: Feelings.
Hello, dear readers! Empathy in psychology is considered as the ability to consciously understand the emotions and feelings of other people. An empathic person has compassion for everyone who needs comfort and rejoices with everyone else in moments of delight. Today we'll talk about empaths. And to be more specific:
- I will tell you in simple words what empathy is;
- We will take a psychological test to determine your level of empathy;
- I will give you 40 character traits of an empathic person;
- Let's find out what types of empathy there are;
- Let's talk about how to behave with an empathic person;
- And how to develop this amazing ability to feel the state of another person.
Empaths are very precious people!
What is empathy
In simple words, empathy is the ability to empathize, sympathize with another person, any living creature and even a plant.
Moreover, such empathy is a conscious action. The person remains in the real world and also looks at the situation or some things realistically. An empath is a person who (empathetic) consciously projects the feelings of another onto himself. He not only shares his feelings with someone, he is able to understand the depth:
- grief;
- joy;
- despair and melancholy;
- fear.
To one degree or another, empathy is characteristic of all people. Surprisingly, psychologists around the world believe that most hardened criminals - murderers, robbers, maniacs, all of them have a very strong empathic ability.
When answering a survey about who these empaths are, we can say that they are all of us. It’s just that each person has a different level of it. Thus, a young mother may experience the pain and fear of a child who will have to stay in an unfamiliar place for the first time. For example, in kindergarten, alone, without her support. At the same time, the child’s father may not experience such fear. He does not have a high enough level of empathic abilities. Which does not allow you to feel the situation and apply it to yourself. He simply does not feel how scary it is for a baby who is left without parents for the first time.
Empathy works best with people close to you. We empathize with them the most. However, not all people are empaths. Some, no matter how much they want, cannot sympathize in such a way that this someone really feels supported.
Interestingly, empaths are able to empathize and react sharply not only to events that occur in the same reality as them. They can even empathize with the characters of a work or film. They are easy to spot in the cinema hall - they cry after the show (they are in a bad mood if the ending of the film seemed sad) or, on the contrary, they laugh loudest of all. The same thing happens when reading books. So, if on the subway you see a person holding a book in his hands, smiling from ear to ear or vice versa, you probably have a very strong empath in front of you.
Empathy is inherent in every person to one degree or another!
Types of empathy
Psychologists distinguish 3 main types of empathy depending on how much a person can control this state.
Emotional empathy. It is characterized by spontaneity and suddenness. A person, like a mirror, reflects the emotions of others, even strangers. He takes plane crashes, fires, floods and other situations in which someone suffers hard. It is almost impossible to control such empathy.
Cognitive or rational. In addition to emotions, a person uses his mind and tries to analyze a negative situation. This is very useful for establishing business connections. Such empathy allows you to better understand others and put yourself in their place.
Predicative or intuitive . A person can predict the reaction of others to a particular event. There are no thoughtless actions here, and every step is thought out in advance. This type of empathy is expressed in tactful words and actions.
The Scientific Explanation of Empathy
The term empathy, unlike, for example, the term “compassion,” is not associated with a specific emotion, denoting the fact of empathy for any emotional state, regardless of its nature. The introduction of this term into the scientific community was due to Edward Titchener and Sigmund Freud. In 1905, Freud defined the ability to empathize as the ability to put oneself in the patient's situation in order to better understand him and obtain material for comparison. Freud compared his own state during the period of empathy with the state of the person he was experiencing.
Over the years, scientists have discovered that the level of empathic abilities depends on the mechanism that triggers them. So they distinguish:
- Emotional empathy associated with the desire to project and imitate the motor and affective reactions of another person;
- Cognitive empathy, manifested in people who are able to compare, draw similar parallels, and use intellectual abilities in their usual activities;
- Predictive empathy, based on a particular person’s ability to predict another person’s reaction to a given situation.
Read more about the types of empathy below. Its special forms are empathy, as the opportunity to experience the same emotions as another person. And sympathy, which manifests itself in the form of expressing one’s state regarding the experiences that have gripped another person. Examples of empathy can be easily observed in everyday life, for example, on public transport.
Empathy applies to the entire spectrum of feelings!
Empathy in children
Kids are sensitive, vulnerable, trusting. They learn to empathize and gain experience from the examples of their parents. Of course, the level of empathy will remain low during the school years if adults do not have special intelligence.
If a child receives warmth and love from his parents in full, then he usually develops and learns well.
Empathy in children needs to be nurtured, which means teaching them how to communicate correctly with peers and adults. This task primarily falls on the shoulders of the parents, starting to imitate and behave the same way.
Psychologists have developed many different trainings for conducting group and individual sessions with the aim of developing emotional memory. Children's exercises that will definitely help develop empathic abilities in children:
- “Telephone”, when after a conversation the baby tries to convey what he heard with gestures and facial expressions, to express the evoked feelings.
- “The Monkey and the Mirror”, where a child poses in the mirror, expressing his emotions with facial expressions, gestures, and gaze.
Brief characteristics of an empath
In short, an empath is a person who will always find the right words of consolation and support, cry and laugh with you, listen, and help if necessary. It’s good to have such a friend or girlfriend, a loved one. Let's talk about the signs of an empath by which he can easily be identified in more detail.
Empaths make great friends!
Willingness to help
Empathy manifests itself in the desire to provide help if it is needed. An empath helps selflessly. He likes to see how the situation improves, how thanks to him a person has the strength to live, create, and work. Such people do not expect gratitude and never take offense at those who “do not remember kindly.” True, there are exceptions. Some empaths use their ability to improve their self-esteem. But the feeling of moral satisfaction is more of a pleasant bonus than what a person strives for when helping a friend or even a stranger.
Empathy is almost always a selfless character trait!
Listening skills
People love to talk about themselves and their own problems. At the same time, not being delighted by anyone else’s attempts to complain about life or talk about the difficulties that have arisen. The exception is empaths. These people are the best listeners you can imagine. They have no desire to judge the narrator or lecture him. On the contrary, they will find words with which they can explain even the most unsightly act. And in such a way that you will immediately feel better. You will feel important and your mood will improve. Empaths are excellent advisors.
You definitely have at least one empath among your friends. Remember your friends!
Active empathy
Empaths experience the suffering of others as if they were their own. They don’t sleep, they are depressed, they lose their appetite. From infancy, an empathic child should be taught to control his own emotions. Otherwise, his ability to empathize with others will be to his detriment.
Empaths care about you as if they were themselves! If not even more!
Ability to reflect
It is important to learn to reflect; many empaths do this quite well. Therefore, they not only understand others well, reading their emotions, but also themselves. Self-analysis helps to cope with the emotions adopted from another person. And don't let them overwhelm you.
Correctly interpreting your feelings is about them!
Shows of Empathy
How to recognize signs of empathy? By what parameters can one determine that a person is ready to be sensitive, perceptive and truly responsive? True empathy is not difficult to recognize. You just need to start being more attentive to those around you and follow the voice of your own heart. Let's take a closer look at the manifestations of empathy.
Willingness to help
Each of us may need support from time to time. There is nothing shameful or surprising about this. Circumstances are sometimes beyond a person’s capabilities, so if you find yourself in a difficult situation, it’s not surprising to get confused. Willingness to help is an extremely necessary skill, which in no way can be called superfluous. A person who strives to be truly useful is not capable of causing pain to another. An individual with a broad soul actually discovers in himself the desire to give, to do good, to be as useful as possible. The development of empathy requires that an individual constantly seeks additional opportunities to be useful to as many people as possible. Some individuals are quite clearly aware that it gives them special joy to benefit others. Thus, faith in yourself and your own prospects is strengthened. The more we do for others, the more responsive we become, and we begin to realize the true value of our own lives.
Listening skills
At all times, this skill was worth its weight in gold and characterized a person from the best side. As a rule, this is expressed in the desire to listen to the interlocutor and give him useful advice. At the same time, all sorts of condemnations and manifestations of negativity fade into the background. Listening is an extremely useful skill that every civilized person can appreciate. When you are listened to carefully, you create the impression of your own need and importance. Empathy is born from the desire to understand and delve into certain life circumstances. When we share thoughts with each other that are of some importance, we receive a feeling of deep inner satisfaction. Empathy is impossible without careful listening. Only when people feel that their problems are not indifferent to others can they be happy and remain internally satisfied.
Active empathy
Empathy is characterized by such a manifestation as strong empathy. This is not just a caring attitude, but genuine participation in the life of a loved one. If an individual not only understands what another feels in a certain situation, but is imbued with all his soul, then this is genuine empathy. Such a person really has every opportunity to provide meaningful help and support. Empathy assumes that a person will be mature and self-sufficient enough to determine his true values. The ability to help is one of the most significant. If people learned to value care and patronage more, they would be able to achieve complete satisfaction in life.
Ability to reflect
Empathy forces a person to constantly analyze his own actions. An individual examines in detail all his actions that he has performed in the past or is about to perform in the future. Empathy promotes better disclosure of feelings and release of internal energy. In this case, it becomes easier for the individual to understand the people around him. Their thoughts, actions and desires do not remain something mysterious and unacceptable for him. The ability to reflect is a quite useful thing, allowing you to analyze current events. As a result, a person can draw certain conclusions and make decisions that have a beneficial effect on their state of mind. Reflection allows you to track changes in your own mood and has a beneficial effect on your ability to understand other people.
Thus, empathy is an integral element that helps to establish understanding between people. Thanks to empathy, a person gets the opportunity to look at the situation from the inside and discover some significant details for himself. If you have any problem related to mutual understanding with other people, then you can seek help from the Irakli Pozharisky Psychology Center . Trying to solve all difficulties alone is not the best option. Working with a specialist will help you understand the significant characteristics of empathy and outline constructive ways out of an unsatisfactory situation.
What types of empathy is divided into?
It was already mentioned above that, depending on the reason, several types of empathy are distinguished. It is worth learning about each of them in more detail; such information will be useful to everyone. Because there are very few people who are absolutely devoid of empathy.
It should be mentioned that a person can use several types of empathy at the same time. But it happens that he is completely unable to understand the moods and feelings of those around him, and this leads to unpleasant consequences.
Basically, psychologists divide empathy into 3 types.
Cognitive empathy
This type of empathy is shown by people who have learned not only to empathize with an object showing a certain emotion, but also to analyze those actions or words, the situation that became the primary source of such emotion. Carrying out the necessary analytical operations, the empath actively uses the feelings that he experienced in the past, as well as his own experience. He carefully observes the interlocutor, taking into account his facial expressions, gestures, intonation of voice and even the expression of his eyes. Cognitive empaths have a good understanding of people, which helps them better build relationships with colleagues at work and at home.
They do this even during the first conversation!
Emotional empathy
An empath is so deeply immersed in the personality of another person that at a certain point in time he can lose himself. And even lose self-control, replace the interlocutor. Such empaths have a special nervous system. All emotions of others, especially if they are strong, are perceived as their own. This kind of empathic ability often gets in the way of people. They are constantly stressed and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. An emotional empath becomes unsettled even after listening to a news show or reading a book.
Such empaths need to learn to control their abilities, otherwise they may even cause harm!
Predicative empathy
The most convenient type of empathy for the owner. Predictive empaths are able to predict people's reactions to various stimuli. They are guided by logic, common sense and the instinct inherent in them by nature itself. They can understand how the interlocutor will act in a specific situation even before it arises. This helps to never invade someone else's personal space and avoid related conflicts.
Any of the species will perfectly feel all your experiences.
Developing Empathy
In psychology, empathy is divided into several levels that help to consciously develop empathy for other people. However, difficulty may arise for those individuals who have not previously possessed such an emotional feeling. It is impossible to suddenly turn your inner world around and learn to master special sensuality. Developing empathy will require enough time to change your own beliefs and master the skills of empathizing with people.
Developing Empathy
The feeling of empathy is a conscious understanding of the feelings and emotions of strangers, as the perception of one’s own inner world. The peculiarity of emotional empathy lies in a subtle knowledge of the internal state of someone else's life.
The development of empathy is accompanied by the following levels:
- Level 1 is characterized by the ability to recognize emotional gestures and vocal notes. The intonation of a voice can indicate the state a person is in and what he is feeling. The first level shows a person’s ability to accurately analyze the emotional state of another person. Understanding empathy lies in knowing the inner world and transferring it to your own feelings. It is very difficult to learn such a subtle emotional feeling. To master this state, it is necessary to study facial expressions, body movements, timbre and intonation of the voice.
- The 2nd level of empathy development includes the mastery of more complex skills: behavior, sensation, emotions, body movement, the timbre of a certain person’s voice, which you need to feel and experience yourself. To easily integrate into the desired image, a strong emotional reaction will be required. You should carefully observe the person and try to feel his inner state.
- Level 3 allows you to master the stable skills of a true empath: the ability to relate to other people’s worries, experiences, emotions and the ability to manage such a state. The peculiarity of this development of empathy is the ability to quickly get out of a negative state and bring your interlocutor out of the negative. People who possess such skills are able to influence their own and others' emotions.
Developing empathy makes it easy to understand and perceive other people. There are particular positive and negative aspects to mastering such skills. The positive side is the ability to understand strangers, and with the negative component, serious difficulties are possible when conflict situations arise with the interlocutor.
Levels of empathy in psychology
The ability to empathize is inherent in all people. But not everyone actively uses it. And some don't even know about its existence. To test the level of empathy, psychologists use special psychological tests for empathy. The most popular testing methods were developed by I. Yusupov and A. Mehrabyan. We also developed such a test. You can find out your level of empathy below.
The implication is that everyone has empathy. Some people just have more and some have less.
High level of empathy
People with high levels of empathy feel other people's emotions more strongly than their own. Because of this, their psyche suffers. They end their days in a psychiatric clinic. Fortunately, a high level of empathy is not common; the condition is easily identified and corrected by a psychologist.
This is called hyperempathy. It is characterized by:
- Excessive generosity. He will give away his last shirt. And to support a friend in trouble, he will walk tens of kilometers;
- Amazing sincerity;
- Immunity to insults. He does not remember evil and often steps on the same rake.
This level is also characterized by softness of character, which is often perceived as weakness and a good chance for manipulation. A gentle person is a godsend for scammers and people trying to shift their responsibilities onto the shoulders of others.
Such people themselves are very vulnerable. Appreciate them!
Average level of empathy
Most mentally healthy individuals have the ability to empathize to one degree or another. Therefore, we can say that half of the world's population is at an average level of empathy. Which manifests itself in the following forms:
- The desire to listen and understand the interlocutor;
- The ability to put oneself in the place of another, to imagine his emotions;
- Understanding and empathizing with the suffering of others.
Average empaths are balanced and mentally healthy. Unlike people with a higher level, they worry less and are able to control their own feelings. They don't let someone else's perception of the situation ruin their mood.
Most people on the planet belong to the average level!
Low level of empathy
Lyuli with a low level of empathy are also mentally healthy. However, they are not able to empathize with anyone. Other people's tears and even laughter don't touch them much. They rarely show their own emotions. An empath's primary thoughts and feelings are focused on themselves. And he doesn't care about others. The reason for the low level of empathy should be sought in undeveloped behavioral skills.
A person who does not know how to communicate quickly gets lost in a new team. He develops negative feelings towards those around him who are trying to stir him up. The result is disappointment in work and leaving for a place where you don’t need to communicate with people. People who lack even average empathy are often (but not always) called introverts. That is, withdrawn into themselves. They try to stay away from old people and children, they scare them. And also from areas of activity in which communication becomes the key to success. For such empaths, negative emotions are mainly associated with criticism. They just can't stand it. But the outburst of anger associated with an unpleasant word spoken to the empath quickly passes.
People with low levels of empathy may not notice another person's problems at all!
How to find out your level of empathy
You can assess your level of empathy yourself, but it is difficult, and the assessment may not be objective. Therefore, special tests, which were already mentioned at the beginning of the section, will help you find out your level. Our team of psychologists, especially for you, has developed just such a test. After passing this test, you will find out your level and also receive a short description.
Levels of empathy: quantity, characteristics
- As a rule, there are three main levels of empathy . The first is characterized by complete indifference to others; such people do not strive for contact, preferring solitude. They are often surrounded by alienation from others.
- The most common are second level empaths . These people are also not inclined to empathize with others, showing it only occasionally. They are usually attentive and tactful, their emotions are controlled, their feelings are restrained. Sometimes they can lose patience, but in general they are delicate and not too emotional.
- The third level of empathy is considered the highest , representatives of which are not so often found. They are truly interested in those around them, with their problems and experiences. Level 3 empaths are outgoing, warm, and generous. For them, feeling and intuition come first, and only then – rationality.
Levels
This is a generally accepted division of empathy into levels. But there is also a more detailed distinction .
- Thus, at the first level, a person is able to perceive his own sensations, the nature of his emotions, and their subtleties. Such a person is able to feel another, but only if this other is nearby, and the empath himself, as a rule, does not even realize that these are someone else’s emotions.
- The second level of empathy is characterized by the fact that a person not only understands the nature of feelings and emotions, but is also able to understand the emotions of another by looking at their eyes and facial expressions, without understanding the nature of this.
- The third level already implies awareness of oneself as an empath and conscious perception of other people’s experiences, differentiation between one’s own and other people’s emotions.
Description
- The most sensitive and receptive are the empaths of the next two levels . Here empathy no longer becomes just the ability to empathize, but a quality of character.
- At the fourth level, a person is able to fully embrace the entire gamut of feelings and emotions of another, even on an energetic, and not just a physical level. Their own feelings are completely subject to them, moreover, a person is able to develop them of his own free will.
- Having moved to the fifth level of empathy, a person can fully control not only his feelings, but also to a certain extent manage the experiences and perceptions of others.
- Representatives of the last two levels are often found among those whom we call psychics, contactees, and clairvoyants.
Test to determine the level of empathy
Time is Up!
Time's up
In fact, everyone can analyze themselves and roughly understand their level.
How to find out your level of empathy?
It is important to know your level of empathy so that you can control it if necessary. One of the most common methods is testing with questions that help understand a person’s possible reaction in different situations.
A 36-point test by the famous Kazan psychologist I.M. Yusupov is often used to determine the level of empathy. It will take no more than 12-15 minutes to complete. It is important to answer as honestly as possible, otherwise the results will not correspond to reality.
Is empathy good or bad?
Empathy is neither good nor bad. This is what a person is born with or what he acquires as he grows up and communicates with other people. Of course, being overly sensitive to other people's emotions is not very pleasant, but such people always have many friends. And also, by listening to others, advising, grieving and rejoicing with others, they make this world a little better.
People whose sense of empathy is poorly developed also have nothing to be sad about. The nervous system of introverts is stronger and works better. This means that if a truly difficult situation arises, you will be able to use all its resources to the fullest. Takei people will survive stress with fewer losses.
Without empathy, we wouldn't be human at all!
During a quarrel, you want to offend the person
You do not treat conflicts as a way to find a compromise and solve a problem. This is a fight in which you need to defend and attack. Therefore, you are not trying to convey anything specific, and certainly not listening to your partner, but only blaming. Don’t hold back your expressions and don’t think that words spoken in anger will affect the relationship after you make peace.
If you want to build healthy communication with others, you will have to learn how to conflict correctly. Express your opinion, talk about your own emotions, without attacking your interlocutor.
How to develop empathy
Being an empath is not as bad as not feeling anything. It is worth repeating that there are no completely insensitive and at the same time mentally healthy people. There are people with low levels of empathy. But with some effort, it can be increased.
Now I will give you tips on the easiest way to develop empathy!
Expand your social circle
To increase your sensitivity to other people's emotions, communicate with more people. How can a person understand that he can sympathize and empathize or not, if his circle of communication is limited to close relatives and store clerks? Expand your social circle. Include, for example, your housemates, Instagram followers, and work colleagues. It should be remembered that communicating with a large number of people is always associated with stress. Therefore, I do not advise you to suddenly go out into the world.
This is difficult, but very important!
Learn to listen and hear
If a friend tells a completely uninteresting book, movie, TV series, or once again retells the story of how she met her future husband, you really want to interrupt her and tell her about your own problems. But what makes you think that your story will be more interesting? Perhaps because what is told will concern you yourself. Touch your interests, feelings and desires. A person with a low level of empathy will interrupt a friend's story without regret, refusing to respond to any complaints related to it. An empath of medium and high level, if other circumstances do not prevent this (you need to rush to catch the bus, go to pick up the children at school), will definitely listen to the end. And he will even give advice if needed. To become just such an empath, learn to listen and develop patience and understanding that the other person is no less important. After all, it is not always good to indulge your own selfishness.
This may also seem difficult, but this is only at the beginning. Then you will be sucked in!
Read works of fiction
Fiction books are filled with the experiences of the characters. D'Artagnan sobs at the body of the deceased Constance. The royal general Richard, the hero of Daphne du Maurier's book, is angry at the nobles who did not support his plan to liberate Cornwall. Young Elizabeth feels deeply unhappy that Mr. Darcy did not appreciate the beauty of her sisters. The more works like this you read, the better empath you will become. The main thing is to choose the right books, whose characters really make you want to empathize with them. It will not be possible to develop your feelings with the help of a work that fails to interest you.
This is probably the simplest thing.
Communicate in stressful situations
Many introverts avoid any stressful situations. They run away from crying people and never rush to be the first to console a child who has broken his knee. The next time you want to act in the same way again, overcome yourself and stay where you are. Perhaps you will be able to go further and even communicate with a person who is not experiencing the most positive emotions.
Interestingly, low-level empaths also run away from positive feelings. Therefore, if a friend invited you to a party, and your work colleagues are throwing a party, it is necessary and important for you to go there.
And this moment is the most important!
Why is empathy harmful?
Experiencing negative emotions, suffering and pain can have a negative impact on well-being and health. Heavy thoughts and feelings that settle in our souls for a long time lead to the development of mental disorders and psychosomatic diseases.
Everyone has more than enough of their own problems and experiences, so you shouldn’t get into the habit of taking on the responsibility of living through other people’s as well.
The ability to separate “one’s own” from “their”, to abstract from the suffering imposed by television propaganda, without turning into a dry and insensitive cynic, is a necessary quality in our time.
At the same time, when someone close to us feels bad and needs sympathy, we worry with him - we cannot deny ourselves and him this. There is nothing wrong. With our sympathy we can lighten his “burden”, help him overcome a life crisis, or survive a tragedy.
Our world would be much more humane and kinder if most people had high empathy. There would probably be less cynicism and cruelty. There would be no senseless bloodshed and wars.
Tips if you are an empath
If you are already an empath, then it is important for you to remember the following simple rules that will make your life much easier:
- Loneliness is not always a bad thing; devoting all your free time to other people will burn you out and even drive you crazy;
- The emotions that overwhelm you can be expressed in dance, drawing, song;
- Dream! Sometimes it’s useful to dream, even if it’s about the impossible;
- Don't limit yourself to important things. This will lead you to depression;
- It is impossible to always do only what is interesting. But since it is interest that fuels your desire to complete a particular task, before you start work, understand why a particular task is interesting.
- Communicate more with animals. Go for a walk in the park or forest. This will help you cope with the burden of emotions.
Stick to the rules and you will feel better!
Who to turn to if empathy is difficult to live with
Empaths are frequent guests in the office of a psychologist or psychotherapist. They are often thrown out of their usual rut by the weight of guilt for not being able to help someone. Depression and nervous disorders of various levels invariably visit those who are too carried away by other people's emotions.
It is important to contact a specialist in time who can teach you how to cope with overwhelming feelings. He will convince you that it is impossible to empathize with everyone with the same degree of depth. That you shouldn't be too upset that the main character of the book didn't get what he wanted. And the neighbor got into trouble.
Don't be afraid to consult a psychologist!
Signs that a person has empathy + examples
Empathy is manifested in approximately the same way in children and adults; adults simply have more opportunities to help other people. How do you know if you are an empath and can be trusted with emotional difficulties?
Feel the person
Without realizing it, you can clearly tell whether a person is sad or happy, sad or angry. And this feeling arises even if you have not yet communicated with him.
An example of empathy. Several people come to you, and you can already see who came with what mood. Mothers often “read” their children this way when the child received a bad grade or was offended by someone at school.
You're getting exhausted
If you don't know how to control your empathy, you will quickly feel exhausted in a crowd of people. The problem is that you will try to understand every person you focus your eyes on. And this is very emotionally draining.
Example. You are in front of an audience of students. When you enter it, you study everyone, when you conduct a seminar, you understand how each student feels. It’s as if snippets of their phrases reach you: “oh, it would be quicker already...”, “when will this grimace go away...”, “there’s a great party planned today...” And this understanding, studying, observing and listening exhausts you!
