Fear of first sex
Every person, faced with such a problem, experiences anxiety. Not only women, but men too. I would like to tell young people that you need to have a lot of patience if the girl is dear to you and you do not want to cause her pain or any inconvenience. Try to talk to the lady, find out what exactly scares her, maybe she is not ready yet, then postpone this activity for a while. Don't put pressure on her. Much also depends on the age of your companion. The younger the lady, the more complexes and prejudices will accompany her. The main task of a man is to relax a woman as much as possible, both physically and mentally. Girls, I would like to say that this issue, of course, should be approached thoughtfully and seriously; if you are overwhelmed by a feeling of fear, ask yourself whether you want intimacy with this particular man. Sometimes it happens that the problem lies here, the girl simply does not want a particular guy, even if she has been in a relationship with him for a long time. The physiological part might not have been involved before, and she felt comfortable communicating with him and spending time. But as soon as the conversation turned to intimacy, the girl could get scared. Therefore, before you decide to have intimacy with a man, especially for the first time, think carefully about whether this is the partner with whom you want intimacy.
How to overcome the fear of first sex
Sooner or later, almost every person is faced with the need to enter into an intimate relationship with a person - no matter the same sex or the opposite. But what to do if this is greatly hindered by fear? A completely unreasonable, primal fear of first sex.
Most often, it is girls who face this fear, and we will talk about them here.
Statistics show that about 40% of girls lose their virginity at the age of 15. Another 30% are aged 16-17 years. It would seem that with such statistics, what kind of fear of sex can we talk about? But this problem exists, and for some it is so serious that it poisons the rest of their lives. In general, fear of the first time is quite normal. A girl can listen to her friends’ stories about pain, read stories on the Internet - and panic.
Accordingly, one of the components of the fear of sex is the fear of pain.
Of course, all this is purely individual, but 85% of girls feel pain. She is tolerant. Although it depends on your own physiology, genetics, relaxation, pain threshold and partner. It's hard not to be afraid of pain. Here we can advise one thing - relax before sex. The main thing is to be in a cozy atmosphere and completely trust your partner.
The second component is the fear of getting pregnant or contracting some disease. It is worth noting that infections are transmitted not only through vaginal sex, as is commonly believed. With anal and oral, bacteria also enter the body and can lead to problems.
Of course, the main protection is condoms. They exist both male and female. However, before using the latter, you should consult your doctor. When using condoms, it is possible to become pregnant, less than 10%, although they were originally invented to protect against infections. If you combine several types of sex at a time, the condom must be changed.
Fear of getting pregnant is quite normal for those who are just starting to be sexually active. For older women, a good option is a spiral. For young people, the best solution would be to go to a gynecologist or psychologist. A gynecologist can prescribe hormonal contraceptives, and a psychologist can cope with fear and find the real sources of such experiences.
Another fear, or rather complex, is dissatisfaction with one’s body. According to statistics. Only 10% of living people are completely satisfied with their body. There is no need to be ashamed of your body, your parameters. The main thing is to trust the person with whom it will be the first time, and everything else is a matter of gain.
High-quality contraception, trust and relaxation, a good atmosphere, as well as a conversation with a gynecologist and psychologist either before or after will greatly facilitate the whole process, and allow you to remember what happened afterwards with a smile, and not with fear and embarrassment.
How to prepare for first sex
As mentioned above, you should only allow intimacy with a man if you are confident in your partner. In this case, we mean both the physical and moral aspects. Also remember that you need to take care of the safety of this event. Purchase the necessary protective equipment from unwanted pregnancy and infections at the pharmacy. Answer the question to yourself, what exactly is your fear associated with, what are you afraid of most? Share this problem with a friend who already has a similar experience, she will definitely help you with advice. Talk to your man, tell him what worries you, any problems in the relationship should be resolved together, because there should be no secrets between close people, especially in the intimate sphere. If you don't trust your boyfriend, then think hard about whether you should give yourself to him at all. Men, I would like to tell you to remember that sex is not only physical satisfaction, but above all care and attention to your beloved, especially when it comes to the first time. Try to show your openness to the lady, be yourself. Remember that for a girl, first sex is a turning point in her life, and high emotional shock is a normal reaction. Your task is to win over a woman so that she can relax as much as possible with you and feel wanted, loved and needed. Give her this and then you both will succeed.
How to make your first time perfect3
Initially, there is no need to plan this day as a big event in life and prepare for it for months. If the day is overly planned, everything will not go according to plan: both partners will not be able to relax and it will be one big embarrassment. You shouldn't have your first sex in the toilet either. This could be a nice dinner at home. The couple will have a pleasant time and trust the body and nature. In this case, the first sex will be unforgettable.
On this day you should not overdo it with alcohol. A glass of wine at a nice dinner is pleasant and atmospheric, but if you offer your partner stronger alcohol, the result of the first time will be unsuccessful. And even with the amount of wine you may not guess. Then the first sex between a girl and a guy will turn into a sound drunken dream, and in the morning there will be such an unpleasant phenomenon as a hangover. This is probably not how a young couple imagines their first time.
Don't jump to conclusions about having sex for the first time. Statistically, they are always wrong. Partners need at least a month of stable sex life to understand whether they are suitable for each other in bed or not.
It is necessary to take into account: after sex, a girl will remember tenderness and comfort during the process, while for a guy, sex is one of the ways of physical activity. Morally, a guy will never get as much pleasure as a girl gets in one act of love.
Some young people, out of anxiety and worry about future failures, may take the liberty and use various stimulants. This cannot be done. A young, inexperienced body cannot predict the physical reaction of the body, and then, instead of a pleasant process, the young man can spend some time in bed alone.
Why doesn't it work out with a new woman for the first time?
"Why did this happen? After all, everything was fine before!” a frustrated macho may complain. He simply forgot that all sexual processes in his body are regulated not only by the level of testosterone (there may be enough of it), but also by such a subtle and completely unknown mechanism as psychology. According to statistics, about 80% of men who face psychological problems in the intimate area do not receive treatment or do not seek advice from specialists. But problems do not solve themselves - they usually get worse, leading to disorders in the sexual sphere.
Psychologists say that the more we like our partner, the more we expect... from ourselves. A man thinks that he needs to correspond to a certain stereotype, he needs to be on top in the eyes of a woman. This is where the fear of not living up to expectations arises.
The first sex with a new partner turns into stress, and negative stress: indeed, there is always one thought in my head: “I must be super!” But in reality? Experts have long found out that in such a situation, a man’s sexual desire increases, but sexual capabilities, on the contrary, decrease. Vasospasm caused by stress does not contribute to a full erection.
Many men, in order to relieve stress, including before their first intimate date with a new partner, resort to such well-known means as alcohol or cigarettes. However, this is a double-edged sword: alcohol really relieves the feeling of tightness, stiffness, and anxiety. But the big question is whether it promotes erection. The same can be said about smoking, plus there are not many smokers left in the modern world. And taking sedatives is even fraught with general lethargy. Do you think your lady will like it?
We need to look for other ways. One of them is taking drugs that increase attention and strengthen volitional syndrome. For example, Biotredin , which is recommended for schoolchildren to increase concentration, will help shift attention from yourself (“How will I look in her eyes?”) to your partner (“How can I please her?”). By focusing on his beloved, a man does not think about the fact that he needs to “match”, and intimate intimacy brings pleasure to both.
An additional effect of such drugs is the inclusion of relaxation mechanisms in the body and stress relief. And having overcome the fear of possible failure for the first time, then you will be confident in yourself.
How to stop being afraid of your first time with a guy, 5 tips
From this wise and authoritative publication, you will reliably learn how to stop being afraid of your first time with a guy. You will definitely need 5 useful tips.
Intimacy is an integral part of human relationships. Unfortunately, not everyone manages to achieve harmony the first time, and the union of two hearts collapses like a house of cards.
Girls, never blame yourself for the uncontrollable fear of your first experience. I will now dispel your expectation that something will go wrong, and you will calm down.
The first thing I want to loudly inform you about is. Try to enter into close relationships not only at the call of the flesh, but also out of love, trusting the guy, and not doubting him.
1. You will stop being afraid of the first time if you expect nothing at all from delicate intimacy. Expectations of mind-blowing pleasure and incredible pleasure may not be justified, and there is no one shamefully to blame.
If you have become not just friends, but also partners, it is important to understand that the first contact is often of an “introductory nature”, and your sensuality has not yet been revealed. A guy, even if he has many years of experience, needs to get to know your body and the so-called areas of increased arousal.
If you do not experience physiological release the first time, do not be afraid of the second, third and tenth attempts. Because, over time, your intimacy will become a real pleasure.
2. Don’t be afraid to seem cold to the guy, and if he expresses his dissatisfaction with you, be prepared for his inexperience in this matter. A person who loves you will never call you frigid or worthless while on the bed of love. And if this happens, nothing terrible will happen to you, and you, over time, will meet a more sensitive and attentive person to you.
3. You are afraid not of the first time with a guy, but of loneliness, if the meeting with him becomes the last. This applies to girls who see in every gentleman the so-called “last chance”.
Girls, believe the wise old admin and do not forget that only a man is to blame for his inability to give a woman pleasure and enjoyment.
4. Don't be afraid to talk about what you like most in bed. Regulate the process itself by pointing the guy to areas of the body that are subject to maximum arousal.
5. Take your time with penetration and enjoy the caresses to the fullest. If the guy doesn’t succeed the first time, and the act of libation does not take place, continue to caress each other sensually, involving all parts of your body in the process itself.
Surrender yourself completely and completely to your loved one, without fear of losing him, because if this is destined to happen, you will still not be able to keep him.
The material was prepared by me, Edwin Vostryakovsky.
