How to learn to be indifferent to a man

What does it mean to “be a man”?

What does it mean to be strong?

These are the things that every boy is told.

But no one explains what the hell it is.

Women are trying to convince them that the answer to these questions is to “look after and run after your woman.”

But if your whole masculinity is that you “look after your woman,” then you will quickly turn into a doormat and a henpecked man.

So what's a man to do?

How to become more courageous?

Today we will talk about one of the qualities that answers these questions.

And this quality is composure.

Composure is a trait of a real man.

It helps you stay calm in difficult situations.

Helps you restrain yourself when necessary.

Composure helps you achieve your goals no matter what.

It helps you work harder.

It helps you train harder.

You begin to manage your emotions.

I'll tell you how to become more cool-headed.

This will be the shortest and easiest course on developing composure in the world: just one sentence.

One sentence that will make you cool and courageous.

Read it:

You only need this question to become a cool-headed man.

And now, using the example of various life situations, you will understand why this is so.

How can a girl become a cold and insensitive bitch?

Usually girls want to acquire the status of a bitch because they were previously burned in a relationship.

Pain that could have been avoided if they had not been so kind and tender-hearted may not go away for years.

To do this, you should adhere to the following settings:

Personal interests and plans should be higher than what a man offers, even if you really want to meet him.
Self-care is a daily ritual that cannot be ruined by any external circumstances. It is worth creating your own style, including hair styling, beautiful makeup and perfectly selected clothes. Under no circumstances should you run to the grocery store or go to bed without removing your makeup. These simple actions will help you feel self-love that does not depend on external circumstances.
Take time for self-development. Read fiction or professional literature daily. This will help you learn to speak beautifully and interestingly.
Stop worrying about a man's feelings or his wallet. If you still feel awkward when you refuse to meet someone on the street, break someone's heart, or are treated to a cup of coffee, it's time to realize that this is the correct alignment of things, because you deserve it simply by the fact of your existence.
Set your conditions at the beginning of relationships with men. Meet only at a time convenient for you, maintain a mystery during dating, do not agree to sex simply out of a feeling of “it seems like it’s time.”

In fact, being a cold-blooded bitch is, first of all, living the way you want, even if it makes the lives of those around you less comfortable.

And every woman deserves this, you just have to really want it and work on your attitude towards yourself.

Watch the video in which a girl tells how to become a bitch:

Insensitivity and coldness guarantee stability in achieving your life goals, but require release, which will prevent the negative impact of pent-up emotions on the body.

Extreme sports, martial arts, and other ways to release energy in a neutral way can help with this.

Definition

Indifference is the absence of reaction, purpose, desire to act.

This state of mind is characterized by pronounced apathy and inertia.

Indifference is synonymous with indifference, melancholy and apathy and characterizes the degree of mental activity, which in this case is minimal. An indifferent person can be in this state in relation to some specific objects or phenomena or to a group of them.

Selective indifference is effectively used as a way of protecting against negative emotions or influences. Widespread indifference is a more formidable symptom of possible mental disorders.

This condition can manifest itself in different areas of human life. The emotional reaction is sharply reduced. Losing interest in something means indifference to it.

For example, to a hobby or type of professional activity. At the same time, the person does not experience any emotions about the previously interested object. This is the most important distinguishing feature of this condition.

Indifference is also characterized as being indifferent to people and being cool about their problems or dire situations.

Remaining indifferent to the sight of others suffering means indifference in the soul or an attempt to distance yourself from what is happening.

True indifference penetrates deeply into consciousness; a person does not worry about this under any circumstances.

This condition is often a person’s own and conscious choice in favor of saving nerves, strength, and time. Indifference helps the individual to use available resources economically.

How to let go and forget a guy

If he still hasn’t warmed up to you, don’t torture yourself: let him go. To do this, just switch to your own affairs - meet with your girlfriends more often, go shopping, play sports, study, read books. Here you will find a selection of the most interesting publications. Try not to blame yourself, repeat to yourself that this is not your person and you are not on the right path. You definitely need to get rid of bad thoughts. In this article we will tell you how to do this through meditation, sports and other activities.

Here is a video with some pretty good advice from a psychotherapist:

If necessary, meet another guy, spend time with him, go out and enjoy your freedom! And finally, remember, you will definitely meet the one who will always love you.

Full control

Here is the golden rule that you should always remember. If you want to understand how to become emotionless, you need to take control of all your emotions. How exactly to do this? There is no exact algorithm here. Just a few tips.

First, choose a profession that forces you to suppress your emotions. For example, a doctor. There they will be able to teach you some things that will help bring our today's idea to life.

Various psychological courses and trainings are also a good way to control emotions. They are called “Emotions under control.” True, they teach more to restrain negativity. But similar principles can be interpreted for positive feelings.

In the end, try to keep everything good inside yourself and suppress it. Think: “Everything is bad.” And repeat this to yourself constantly. Even if everything is just great. Sooner or later you will notice how you have learned to control your emotions. In this case, all that remains is to always maintain a stony, emotionless face when communicating.

This is all. Just before you become cruel and insensitive, think carefully about whether you really need it. It will be more difficult to regain your emotions. Pain is always easier to endure than to drown out.

The desire to become an insensitive person is not uncommon among both young people and older generations.

The main reason is the reluctance to experience pain from betrayal and insults, which can cause mental trauma and negatively affect self-esteem.

In fact, the path to a minimum amount of emotions is not easy, but in this article we will look at ways in which this can be achieved.

What does it mean to be indifferent to yourself

Lifestyle is of no small importance in the formation of an indifferent state. The reason for indifferent behavior can be simple boredom

Sometimes the desire to be inactive is short-term in nature, in which case a person simply needs a little rest. However, if indifference develops into a difficult mental state or protracted depression, then it is necessary to analyze your behavior and eliminate the causes of such manifestations.

There are a lot of possible reasons for indifference, let’s consider some of them:

Experienced stress
Chronic diseases.
Physical fatigue.
Disappointment in professional activities.
Lack of purpose in life.
Dissatisfaction with social and public life.
Alcohol abuse and other bad habits.
Advanced age.
Emotional exhaustion.
Energy imbalance.

There can be many reasons for indifference.
An indifferent state manifests itself as a defensive reaction of the body. A person withdraws from the world around him. Not wanting to feel despair or loneliness, he stops showing emotions.

When the body is unwell, indifference is a symptom of an ongoing illness.
Taking certain medications can also cause a similar effect.
The lack of material wealth gives a person uncertainty about the future, thus causing indifference to current events.
When material values are placed above human values, a person ceases to experience moral satisfaction from such a life.
Lack of purposefulness deprives us of interest in current events. We stop striving and wanting, we live a boring, monotonous life. In this case, it is necessary to arm yourself with a goal. It is this that motivates a person and forces him to take action.
Experiencing strong feelings, a person becomes exhausted and becomes unable to express any emotions. In this case, temporary peace and quiet will have a positive effect on the state of the body.
Any life situation can lead to apathy.
Too active emotional outbursts lead the body to a state of fatigue. Emotions go off scale and the limit comes, the person becomes indifferent for some time.
A person who has lost the meaning of life does not worry about anything. Lack of desire for anything leads to a passive state of motor activity. The person is in no hurry, his energy reserves are at a minimum.
To form desires, it is necessary to show emotions to surrounding events. Indifference leads to a passive state, indifference.

Depression is also common

Depression is the mildest form of indifference. Since in a depressed state a person experiences, at a minimum, negative emotions. In this state, the person suffers due to the unattainability of his desires.

To avoid diving even deeper, be less alone with yourself and your own thoughts. Always try to realize your potential to the maximum. This will give you new strength and energy. By being involved in the lives of others, you will feel that they care about you

This will encourage you to be kind and helpful. Don't neglect the attention shown to you. Understanding and support from loved ones will awaken your human qualities.

Landing on the Neva

The year was 1963. A Tu-124 plane with passengers on board took off from Tallinn airport. Even on takeoff, an emergency occurred - the landing gear jammed. The crew commander, Viktor Mostovoy, requested an emergency landing, but the fog that thickened over the city did not allow it to be made. He was offered to sit in Pulkovo, on a spare dirt runway (Leningrad). While emergency services were rushing to the intended landing site, the plane was circling at an altitude of 400 meters, running out of fuel. When nothing foreshadowed trouble, another unusual situation awaited the crew - the fuel meter turned out to be faulty. When the plane approached the eighth circle, the fuel supply ran out and the left engine stalled, and a couple of minutes later the second one, although the meters showed the presence of fuel.

Finding himself at a distance of 21 km from the airport, the 30-year-old commander of the airliner, maintaining his composure, made the only right decision - to land on the Neva without endangering the city. Having chosen the area between the Finlyandsky and Bolsheokhtinsky bridges, he delicately landed the plane ten meters from one of them. Having made an emergency landing on the river, he saved the lives of passengers and crew. The man's composure was amazing. However, eyewitnesses say: Mostovoy was the last to leave the liner, and everyone was amazed - in a few minutes he became completely gray.

So, there are two main indicators of composure: the presence of a stressful situation and the ability to maintain clarity of thinking, which made it possible not to succumb to panic, but to make the only correct decision in the current situation. We list the synonyms of this concept:

self-control;
calm;
presence of mind;
self-control;
excerpt.

Composure here is seen as a personality quality, a character trait that the crew commander possessed.

The person has negative feelings towards you

It's almost impossible to please everyone. That's why each of us has friends who don't like us. But we try to control ourselves and not demonstrate our negative attitude (in the event that our hostility is mutual), and other people do not consider this a reasonable solution. Moreover, they do this on purpose to show you their disdain. They try to insult, humiliate, spoil the mood, etc. But we understand that they do all this out of their weakness and bad manners. An intelligent person will never stoop to show his negative attitude. The most he will do is simply ignore you. Therefore, you should not be offended by those who show their anger in this way.

Workout

During a good workout, sooner or later the weakling inside you wakes up.

He says: “Time to rest, that’s enough for today, my whole body hurts, baby.”

And you ask yourself one question.

What will I get?

What will I get if I stop training now without sweating my last drop?

And you know the answer: you won't get anything.

You won't get the body you want if you give up.

You'll just get the same flabby piece of pork you want to get rid of.

But what do you get by continuing to train?

You will gain strength. You'll gain muscle. You will gain self-respect.

Sounds cool, right?

When you want to give up, ask yourself: “What will I get if I give up?”

I guarantee you will have a second wind and a fresh charge of energy.

Signs of indifference

The problem of indifference can affect anyone who finds themselves in a difficult life situation. In modern society, indifference is gradually becoming the norm of behavior, for which almost no one is held accountable. When a person passes by someone else's misfortune indifferently, without showing any interest, without trying to provide all possible help, this often causes misunderstanding among caring people. Such signs of indifference sometimes indicate mental disorders or character traits: passivity, apathy. They appear:

in cynicism;
lack of empathy;
prudence.

Even if a criminal offense is committed in front of such a person, he will convince himself that this is not his business and that these problems should be dealt with exclusively by the police. Lack of civic responsibility among people has a negative impact and deteriorates the quality of life of the entire society.

Think before sharing a problem

So you want to understand how to develop composure. First, break down your problem. Think about it yourself, weigh all the pros and cons. Determine exactly which way to solve the problem you consider the most successful. Do not rush to inform everyone around you about the current situation.

Think it over yourself first! By telling your friends everything right away, you will give them information that is not entirely correct, exaggerated. We can say that you are misinforming them and, naturally, their view of the situation will not be objective. Calm down, think for yourself and only then, if necessary, share with others.

Why can a guy lose interest in a girl?

The first six months of a relationship almost always fly by unnoticed and beautifully; he wants to carry you in his arms, talk to you from morning to evening, please and surprise. At the end of the candy-bouquet period, everything can change dramatically: a man often becomes cold in communicating with his soul mate. One of the reasons for this behavior is that the guy stopped loving the girl. Our other article will help you understand this or that. In it you can find the main signs of the disappearance of feelings.

The attitude of a young man (hereinafter referred to as MCH) can change even after he understands that you have a lot of shortcomings. Any little things can irritate him: the fact that you speak quickly, smoke, laugh strangely, bother you with your calls, raise your voice, etc. There may also be complaints about your appearance: according to his ideas, it turns out that you are not at all the slender person you used to be were considered, and your breasts are no longer large, and your hips are too wide, and it’s time to get rid of cellulite...

be rude to him;
not listening or hearing your partner;
act like a man in a skirt;
do not consult him;
do not show how significant it is or go too far with it;
restrict his freedom;
be constantly jealous;
stop paying attention to your appearance.

You should also not forget about the importance of intimate relationships, if you have them. Maybe the guy is bored with the monotony, or he’s tired of waiting, or he’s no longer attracted to you sexually... It’s also likely that the guy could have cooled off if the girl just got too attached to him

Men feel this, and such an attitude can only frighten and bore them. In this case, try to relax and pay more attention to yourself

It is also likely that the guy could cool down if the girl simply became too attached to him. Men feel this, and such an attitude can only frighten and bore them. In this case, try to relax and pay more attention to yourself.

Unlucky day

Sometimes the reason some people get angry is simply a bad day. For example, a person overslept, so he is a little late for work, then spilled a cup of coffee on his new suit, got stuck in an elevator, etc. Can this day be called a good day? Perhaps the second half of the day will be the happiest in recent times, but the “victim” does not know this yet. So it turns out that he begins to “take his anger out” on everyone who comes to his hand. Of course, not all people do this, but only those who cannot control themselves. But we must admit that each of us has moments when our nerves simply give out (especially if the troubles drag on for a long time). Therefore, you should treat rude people condescendingly, since at this stage they have problems, not you.

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Mirroring

Are you often bullied? Or maybe you are simply succumbing to eternal emotional tyranny? Gain strength and courage...and mirror your behavior. Don't be afraid to touch the nerves of your offenders. However, like all other people.

What does it mean? Treat your offenders the same way they treat you. It doesn’t matter who it is - a relative or just a friend/acquaintance. Take people who hurt you as an example. They are usually just perfect role models. After all, the ability to touch a nerve is a good skill for a cruel person.

What to do with those who communicate with you with kindness and friendliness? Mirroring will not help here - it is a charge of unnecessary positive emotions. Therefore, just follow the example of your offenders: try to distance yourself from such individuals, constantly tell them something offensive and unpleasant. Over time, this will become a habit for you.

How indifference manifests itself in various areas of life

Indifference manifests itself in many ordinary life situations when an indifferent individual:

shows reluctance to help a fallen person get up;
does not give up a seat in transport to a pregnant woman or an old man;
does not try to calm a crying child;
refuses to help grandma cross the road;
does not want to feed a stray dog or cat;
does not intervene when the strong offend the weak;
does not call the police to report the offense.

Despite the fact that there are still many people in society who rush to help others, indifference is gaining more and more space in our world, becoming a global problem and approaching the brink where few people want to take on unnecessary responsibility, considering such behavior to be normal.

Indifference in a relationship can manifest itself in different ways. Indifference is expressed not only in the inability to empathize with someone else’s grief, but also in the inability to rejoice in the achievements, success and victories of one’s neighbor. If you look at such a person from the outside, he looks phlegmatic, sad, calm and indifferent.

Some accuse such individuals of selfishness, sincerely not understanding those passing by and not helping a person who, for example, became ill on the street. Someday they themselves may need help, and as a result, the manifestation of inhumanity and deliberate inaction in an emergency situation can lead to a tragic ending. Indifference is expressed in relation to:

to work;
to a partner;
to children;
to public life;
to the people around.

Cultivate selfishness

An insensitive person should not care about anything. Stop paying attention to the events that happen in the lives of friends and loved ones, stop taking part in improving their personal lives, and so on. Again, this is none of your business. In the end, you will be indifferent to everything, you will develop an egoist in yourself, the world will revolve only around you.

It will be difficult at first, but conscience and shame will quickly leave you. Do only what benefits you, make contacts only if you need them, look down on people and go over their heads. Nothing should stop you from achieving your goal. Especially if it’s someone else’s problem. This doesn't concern you.

How to get out of a vicious circle

If you have forgotten how to trust the world around you, and it seems to you that there are only scammers around, try to relearn effective communication. Try to make pleasant acquaintances, help people just like that, especially if you see that they need your participation. Over time, it will become less scary to give, you will feel additional energy, strength that you were previously afraid to show. Gradually, you will notice that there are many people around who are sincerely interested in your affairs, mood and health, and you will find faithful like-minded people.

Thus, the problem of human indifference is hidden in the inability to communicate. In our age of information technology, so many people just sit at home in front of the monitor, and they have nowhere to go, no one to exchange a word with!

Types of indifference

In a relationship

Indifference in marriage is a fairly common occurrence. One of the spouses reproaches the other for indifference. The feelings they once had for each other have been swallowed up by the routine of everyday life. Both partners have come to terms with this and continue to live together only out of habit.

A relationship between partners with mutual indifference and without the desire to change anything is considered hopeless

In this case, it is necessary not to concentrate on yourself, but to talk with your partner. Perhaps it's better for you to break up.

Attitude towards other people

As a rule, a person is very painful when he feels that he is causing his partner boredom and indifference, that he has become completely uninteresting to him. However, over time, feelings dull, the pain goes away and only indifference remains. Indifference to a partner often develops into an attitude towards other people that negatively affects a person’s entire life and his relationships with others.

Indifference of men

Many young people are characterized by a certain form of indifference, which is often confused with maturity. Many people believe that a real man should be “tough” and not show his feelings so as not to seem weak. Therefore, sometimes young people put on a kind of mask of indifference.

At work

Indifference and indifference to work is quite common. A person becomes uninterested in his work, as a result of which he copes worse with his responsibilities and, of course, there can no longer be any talk of climbing the career ladder. In this case, the negative consequences of indifference manifest themselves faster and more acutely than in personal life, because today no employer will put up with an uninterested employee who does not maintain good relations with the team, who constantly makes mistakes.

On politics and the environment

The consequences of human passivity in the political and social sphere are very sad, because in this case, any important issue is decided by other people who have a certain interest. In recent years, the consequences of an indifferent attitude towards the destruction of nature have been increasingly felt.

To the children

The consequences of parents' indifferent attitude towards their children are especially severe. If parents are indifferent to their own children who need their love and attention, then over time the children begin to behave aggressively. It’s even worse if the children resign themselves and become indifferent and apathetic to everything.

Episode from “Seventeen Moments of Spring”

The 1973 cult film left many powerful episodes in the memory, one of which was the interrogation of radio operator Kat. The SS Sturmbannführer who conducted him uses an inhumane technique against the mother: in order for the intelligence officer to hand over Stirlitz, he places her infant child naked near the window, although he may die from frostbite. At the same time, the fascist himself is nervous, justifying his actions with his duty to the country. There are two more Germans present in the scene: SS Unterscharführer Barbara Krain and Helmut Calder.

Let's pay attention to their behavior. Helmut retains his humanity; he realizes that the child is not to blame and cannot be held responsible for the actions of adults. He tries to calm the baby down and resist the actions of Jurgen Rolf. And when this fails, he pulls the trigger to deal with the baby’s cruel tormentor. Barbara demonstrates completely different behavior. Not a single muscle moved on the face of the woman, whose very nature was designed to protect children. In a negative sense, composure is indifference, insensitivity, coldness, insensitivity, apathy, mental callousness (synonyms). Extremely incapable of compassion, she has no emotional response to what is happening. Moreover, according to the scenario, the woman is only 20 years old.

What makes people like this? Lack of love and heartfelt affection in the family, alienation from loved ones, thoughtless fanaticism. Of course, Krain cannot serve as an example to follow, but the actions of Viktor Mostovoy inspire respect, and many would like to maintain clarity of thought in a difficult situation.

Source: yazdorov.win

Women's indifference to a man as a test

It's no secret that women's logic, if it exists, of course, is something supernatural. Sometimes, a woman herself cannot explain to herself the purpose of a particular action or intention. The fact is that their subconscious can play a cruel joke on both men and women.

This can be explained as follows - if we can very confidently control our consciousness and sort all our beliefs according to certain principles, then this will not work with the subconscious. It periodically reminds itself of itself through the manifestation of certain unconscious actions.

This fact is directly related to relationships with men. It happens that a woman feels mutual attraction to a male representative, notices mutual interest, but here a number of obstacles arise on guard, expressed in doubts:

is it reliable enough;
how purposeful he is;
whether he is brave or cowardly;
Is he able to take responsibility?

It would seem, why is this psychological analysis needed and what does it give if the relationship does not promise to be long-lasting?! The fact is that every person is naturally programmed to create a couple.

To continue procreation, as paradoxical as it may sound, a woman needs a self-confident male who is capable of making responsible decisions and caring for his loved ones. Based on this, a woman resorts to this kind of trick in order to make sure that her choice is correct.

Not everything is given

Just take your time. First, think carefully about whether this is how you want to rid yourself of emotions. They are often more difficult to restore than to eliminate. By the way, not everyone is given the gift of being insensitive.

Remember: few people experience a true absence of emotions. Usually cruelty and composure are in a person’s blood. If there is a predisposition to these traits, then solving our today’s issue will be easy and simple. Otherwise, you will literally step on your own throat and your internal structure.

Often sympathetic, kind people think about how to become an insensitive person. And not vindictive. They will have to work very seriously on themselves. As practice shows, such people are not able to really bring the idea to life. Only for a while. And then there will be a feeling of guilt inside. But true composure does not allow this.

Lack of communication skills

When people are unable to communicate well or understand body language, they become rude, even if they didn't intend to be so. The way we perceive things is not always as intended. A person simply does not know how to voice his desires, so he acts as he is accustomed to. He begins to get angry, rude and insult other people instead of calmly explaining what he needs. In fact, try not to take everything to heart, because not everything is as deep as it may seem.

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Adviсe

Don't be upset if your friends think you're cold and carefree. This means your strategy is working!
Don't try to radically change. You can still enjoy your hobbies, such as sports or anything else that interests you. Just try not to show too much emotion.
Don't try to vent your emotions by hurting yourself. On the contrary, it will make you even more emotional because people will see how it affects you.
When you want to say something, keep it short and to the point.
If people start asking you, “What's the matter?”, you can answer briefly, “Nothing” or “I'm just tired,” and if the other person doesn't believe you and starts asking you more, just change the subject.

Frying pan against flowers

One of the manifestations of indifference is lack of attention to each other

We can live in the same family, but not notice each other’s needs, but what we don’t notice can be very important for our loved one. For example, my wife wants me to give her flowers, and I say: well, why do you need them, let me give you a frying pan instead! She's more useful

I buy a frying pan, she smiles, accepts my gift, but she wants flowers. This is also indifference, because you do not pay attention to the person’s needs and desires. You measure it by yourself. I don't need flowers, I'm for a frying pan. It seems like a small thing, but it doesn't lead to anything good. And then children are born in such a family.

I recently attended a meeting of the commission on preventing violence in the family and society. We discussed the problem: one boy in kindergarten behaves very aggressively, and it also turned out that he constantly wants to sleep. They began to question the parents. They say: “What do you want, we come home from work tired, go to bed at eight o’clock, and he watches movies on the Internet until three in the morning.” The boy is five or six years old. The parents believe that there is nothing bad in this situation: after all, they work to provide for him, so that he has everything. The fact that he watches uncontrolled information until three in the morning is normal for them. Who knows what this child saw? Can you be surprised if over time he grows into an antisocial person? What do you want from young people if they grow up in indifferent families?

I don’t know how to bring people out of the lethargic sleep of indifference. It is everywhere, even in small things. Unclean shoes, unkempt clothes, negligence - all this is formed by indifference.

Reasons for indifference

This behavior is often provoked by fear of responsibility and subsequent obligations that may arise as a reaction to the help provided to another person. There are other concerns, expressed in the ingratitude of people who received help. Reasons may include severe upheavals that occurred in the recent past, shock or stress, or the death of a loved one. Often this condition is caused by the use of alcoholic beverages or drugs.

Indifference to life, lack of empathy for the pain of other people often lies in family relationships and begins in childhood, when there is violence, despotism, cruel upbringing on the part of parents, and inability to find a common language with the child. Lack of attention, care, affection in childhood and adolescence can serve as a significant reason that a child will grow up not only passive, but also cruel, showing aggression towards the people who surround him.

Children look at their parents' behavior from the very beginning. A person is not born indifferent. Some are taught from an early age to be independent and trust only themselves, thus cultivating selfishness in the child. Others are overprotected, which creates a situation where their own needs come before everything else. Such upbringing and incorrect attitude towards your child are often the reason for his subsequent indifference to the needs of other people.

Most of your reactions are normal.

The title of this chapter is the most important golden rule you need to understand to begin with. Many people lack the awareness that they are, in fact, completely normal and that their reactions are completely natural.

In an attempt to become a cool-headed person, you may lose your strengths. Why do you want to become calmer, cool down towards people? You are tired of worrying, but your spent nerves indicate that a certain person is dear to you and you are worried about your future.

For example, you often express your dissatisfaction with your husband, but doesn’t this mean that you are showing yourself at this moment as a caring woman? Don't your experiences at work show your responsible attitude and professional approach to business?

Being cold-blooded about everything can cause you to lose all interest in life. Will she become completely different, deprived of benefits, advantages, brightness? Think about it, sometimes reconciling and accepting yourself as you are is the best solution available.

Next time, at the peak of an emotion, think about whether they are normal and what positive qualities they indicate. If you want to become a little calmer, I can offer some useful tips from psychology.

Indifference: definition, features

Indifference is a state of indifference, infantility, a passive attitude towards everything that does not directly concern a person. Indifference is the modern face of evil. Frankly speaking, the appearance is inconspicuous and drab, merging with the general mass, which is its main danger. A distinctive feature of indifference is the mechanism of its spread.

An individual who refuses help sows “seeds”, and the sprouts of indifference appear in the soul of the person who was refused. Chuck Palahniuk wrote about this in his famous work (“no one cared whether he lived or died, and he reciprocated everything”). Indifference, like a pandemic, arises in society and gradually spreads throughout the entire social group. Many witnesses adopt the model of indifferent behavior as the most correct one, because it will not bring problems, and the feeling of guilt will subside on its own over time.

Why do people become indifferent to each other?

As sad as it may be, betrayals do happen in the lives of two people - and, alas, not so rarely. Of course, such an event usually brings little joy to anyone (except, perhaps, the one who cheats - and even then not always). The deceived half often does not understand why this happened and feels like a victim, while the “active” participant is tormented by pangs of conscience and at the same time, deep down in his soul, tries to justify himself to himself. Why do such situations arise? Why, after some time, do two loving people (or one of them) become indifferent to each other and cause pain to their loved one?.. Many of us are looking for answers to these questions. Someone finds it, someone gets tired of looking... Why do people become indifferent to each other? The search for another object “on the side” for love or sex is usually due to a certain number of reasons. Psychologists say that there is no one person to blame for betrayal - there are always two people to blame. If one person is looking for some kind of sensation or relationship outside the home, it means that he is not receiving enough of this something from his husband or wife. It can be anything: lack of attention, affection, sex, kindness, understanding, common interests... As a rule, when you have such a close friend or girlfriend, your partner thinks that it was he, the scoundrel, who broke up your happy family . This is not true - something else broke the happy family. A new hobby is a consequence, not a cause. The reason usually lies much deeper. For example, one couple I know had the following situation: despite the fact that they had been married not very long (5 years), the girl developed a hobby - a doctor, whom she went to for some reason. that of female malaise. This passion turned out to be mutual, and the result was her complete love for a respectable doctor and discord with her husband. Why did it happen so? And the reason, as it turned out, does not lie so deep: her husband has a somewhat exaggerated attitude towards the concept of “family life”. He doesn't want to share his wife with anyone. She doesn’t go to meetings with her friends, he doesn’t meet with friends - after all, he “didn’t get married to run around with friends.” In addition, this girl is from a fairly wealthy family, while the young man, on the contrary, is from a poor family. Throughout his childhood, he was taught that being wealthy is bad, that those who have money did not earn it, but stole it. Thus, the guy is tormented by an inferiority complex - he feels out of place, although he loves his wife very much. Cheating is not a cause, but a consequence. As a result of these simple reasons, a situation arose when the two-room apartment began to feel in some kind of vacuum, feeling at the same time, some of the husband’s anger towards her wealthy relatives. In this case, the doctor who met on her way was not at all an accident. This is a legitimate outcome - she found the opportunity to breathe fresh air with a person who does not put pressure and does not reproach her. Unfortunately, not everyone can understand such combinations, however, having understood, something can be changed and corrected. After all, you once loved each other and were happy. Everything can be returned - you just have to make an effort on yourself and try to understand each other’s needs.

people indifference reasons relationships everything

How to become cold-blooded?

There is certainly an answer to this question. To become cold-blooded, you need to take the advice of psychologists.

Necessary:

establish internal balance;
learn self-control;
visualize;
do not dramatize;
get distracted;
be indifferent to the problem.

To establish inner balance, you need to move away from your fear, thus you can remain stable and come to awareness of the problem. For example, if you forget that there is fear of some important event, then having calmed down, you can realize that the event is necessary, and thus inevitable. You should monitor your breathing, it should be even, this will give you calm. You need to understand that problems are problems that need to be solved; like in school math: concentrating. Of course, it is not easy, but this is how you need to educate yourself to become cool-headed.

To be resilient, you need to see the main thing in the problem , for this you need to fence off everything unnecessary. Consciousness will be devoid of all interfering barriers, which will help make the right decisions, understanding the problem from the depths. In this case, it is important to show qualities such as sympathy and mutual understanding; they are the main assistants, ready for long-term endurance in the most problematic situation.

To visualize means to imagine the most difficult life circumstances as a web that needs to be untangled. If she is nervous, it will be difficult to do this, she will become even more confused, but in a calm environment the result will be completely different. By imagining the problem in the form of a web, the understanding will come to calm down.

To become calm, you need to think about the situation , and not worry. Break it down into pieces, weigh all the pros and cons, and make a decision. Don't rush and tell everyone about what's bothering you. It’s better to be alone and think about the problem, because the first information may be incorrect, especially based on emotions.

Don't dramatize or inflate the problem. It is necessary to soberly assess the situation and monitor your thoughts. They can lead in the wrong direction. To prevent this from happening, you should force yourself to think that the problems are trivial and that solving them will not be difficult.

It is important to take your mind off the problem. Watch your favorite comedy that can make you laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. This method will help you stay calm and relax.

How to be indifferent?

Step away from yourself.
Change behavior.

You need to step away from yourself. Each person has his own views on life, personal opinion, but in difficult moments it is better not to be yourself , but to become a witness to the situation and look at it from the outside, this will be the first step towards indifference. You need to imagine that life is a movie, interesting, exciting, and you shouldn’t really live the plot of this movie. It’s better to determine what genre the film is in, the characters of the characters, the essence of what is happening, try to predict what will happen next. Thanks to this detachment, you will not worry about yourself so much and accumulate internal anxiety, but will see a way out of the situation.

It is important to control your behavior and body, because in a strong desire to become indifferent, it is unlikely that anything will happen if you do not relax. You need to behave neutrally , not waste yourself on unnecessary emotions, and avoid provocations that could affect your emotions. Treat all people as strangers. Talk to your loved ones and friends as if you don’t know them; this will undoubtedly make you act confident, be decent, and speak tactfully and casually.

And yet you need to remain open and perceive the situation, otherwise you risk becoming a closed and aloof pessimist. It’s not difficult to be indifferent: carelessness, avoiding problems, etc. The main thing is not to get carried away and know the limits of your feelings, including indifference.

As you can see, becoming cold-blooded is not that difficult. Be reasonable!

Causes of mental callousness and indifference

Indifference is not a disease, so it is impossible to list clear reasons and make a correct diagnosis. Moreover, indifference is usually incurable. Each indifferent person has his own story, because of which he stopped responding to the hardships of others; each case is unique in its own way. However, there are some main reasons why people are indifferent:

Indifference as a method of self-defense due to multiple emotional and mental traumas previously suffered;
Lack of understanding of someone else’s situation, inability to empathize with it due to the lack of similar life experience;
Physical and psychological reasons - alcoholism and drug addiction, mental retardation, mental disorders;
Short-term severe stress due to physical injury or death of a loved one;
Lack of support, love and even violence from relatives - in childhood or in a married couple.

These are just some of the reasons that answer the question of why people have become indifferent.