MISOGYNY - what is it, in simple words.

Greetings, friends!

Man is a social being, and normally people should live in an atmosphere of harmony and mutual respect. This rule is especially relevant for representatives of opposite sexes: we can say that nature inherent in the mutual attraction of representatives of different sexes to each other. But sometimes it happens that instead of sympathy, people experience the opposite feelings. If this happens for no apparent reason, then we can talk about pathology. One such condition is misogyny. In this article we will take a closer look at what misogyny is and what causes its occurrence. Let's begin.

Misogyny – what is it?

This word is of ancient Greek origin. Misogyny literally translates as “disgust towards women.” A person suffering from this condition hates the entire female gender. Initial searches for the causes of the problem led to the conclusion that it was a consequence of the Oedipus complex. It is formed in early childhood in boys as a response to the threat of castration from the mother.

These findings began to be used in psychoanalysis. Later they came to the conclusion that a hostile attitude towards the weaker sex is revenge for the insults caused. If women show signs of negativity towards men, then this is misandry. They can hate both sexes equally. Misogyny and misandry are conditions of the same plane, which are corrected by similar methods. If women hate members of their own sex, this is internalized misogyny.

Causes

The causes of misogyny have several directions, and the first, most decisive one is the traditions of upbringing, which convey patriarchy to a greater or lesser extent. The stereotypical behavior of elders does not give either girls or boys the choice to develop their own attitude to reality, but approximately the same thing is transmitted in every family of the same society - which is why such behavior is internalized and perceived as the only correct one.

The echoes of the war, when there were few men left, and it was difficult to survive without them, give the position that a woman should take care of work, life and family, while not contradicting and pleasing the man in every possible way, because otherwise he will go where it is better, and she won’t find another. A few centuries ago, people survived only in communities, because it was easier and, again, all household responsibilities were transferred to women. Men could afford relaxation, hobbies or scientific activities, while women did not have enough strength for this. The Church and various religious movements actively supported this state of affairs, leaving only the reproductive function to the woman, from which she could not get out (oral contraceptives, and therefore the ability for a woman to regulate pregnancy, have been around for less than a century).

Another aspect of upbringing is abuse by a woman. If a child is raised to be schizoid, emotionally unavailable, or she used frequent punishment, then in the end everything feminine is perceived as negative. The psyche does not have the opportunity to separate the maternal image and the image of everything feminine, especially in the early stages or without the help of a psychotherapist, and as a result, the psychological defense of objectification is activated and then there is a complete exclusion of the possible source of suffering. This can only be done by reducing its significance (when intellectual abilities decrease), demand (it speaks of the uselessness of women) and involvement (separation of oneself at the level of appearance and activity).

The role of a man and father is the main one and it is he who is afraid to be disturbed. So from childhood it is learned that a man’s sleep is sacred, but a woman must get up before everyone else in order to have time to make breakfast and get herself in order; she can be woken up in the middle of the night by loud steps or even come after midnight, leaving out the feminine need for rest and tomorrow’s responsibilities since morning. There was always money for bearings for the car, but buying new boots was considered a waste. These are all examples of how small family situations in a child’s psyche develop into a belief in female unimportance. As a result, no matter what arguments and data a woman uses, her invention can be ridiculed only because of her gender. This is what mothers themselves teach and this is the attitude given by the men around them when they laugh and don’t even want to start taking a motorcycle driving test based on gender.

Women themselves, observing that the attitude towards men is better and the world is patriarchal, on a psychological level begin to move away from the feminine and try to classify themselves as masculine. This includes a refusal to wear jewelry, constantly wearing jeans, the ability to disassemble an engine, and a complete lack of understanding of cosmetic trends. Yes, this brings men closer to understanding, but does not allow them to develop side by side and understand the differences, care for and recognize the female world. The woman herself becomes a stranger among everyone. Another reason is the presence of one’s own trauma when communicating with some woman, and then they are all classified as bad, insidious or bitches. Frequent statements that women are bitchy, and that the female team is the worst, come precisely from misogynists who received a professional injury while interacting with one employee and were unable to process her.

Misogyny - reasons

Scientists believe that the prerequisites for the occurrence of a hated condition may appear during intrauterine development. Under the influence of hormones, tendencies towards hostile behavior are likely to develop. The following factors aggravate and intensify the pathology:

poor connection with the mother on a sensory-emotional level;
cruel treatment of a child by female relatives;
upbringing in conditions of permissiveness and spoiling;
copying the father's behavior (internal misogyny in girls);
imitation of one's idol;
bullying and ridicule from peers;
unrequited love or breakup with a girl;
fiasco in sexual relationships;
the cult of patriarchy that has developed in society;
stereotypes about gender inequality.

Misogyny in women

Some women are ashamed of their gender status. By treating their friends derogatorily, they consider themselves endowed with masculine qualities. Female misogyny has additional causes:

Feelings of envy towards a friend because of a more successful choice of partner.
The same emotion in terms of someone else's higher level of well-being.
Ugliness. The existing “ugly girl” complex can cause hostility towards “beauties”.
Distortions of cognitive perception of reality. For example, statements like “only a woman can park a car like that.”
False competition because of the “prince on a white horse.” There is a prejudice in the mind that there are not enough worthy suitors for everyone, so you need to suppress your girlfriends.

Misogyny in women - signs

In most cases, the hated state is in a latent form. It is a rare woman who will dare to openly show her hostility towards representatives of her sex. In women, signs of internal misogyny can manifest themselves in different ways:

Typical verbal cliches are inherent. For example, “we women don’t understand anything about technology.”
They evaluate the actions of other women with a “male gaze.”
With or without reason, the surrounding representatives of the fairer sex are criticized and humiliated.
Has no girlfriends.
When choosing between a woman and a man, preference is always given to the latter (for example, when appointed to a position).

Signs of misogyny

Over time, society has become more civilized; obvious signs of hatred are no longer shown because they lead to punishment.
But a man cannot hide his feelings, so sooner or later his aversion to women manifests itself in the form of certain emotional outbursts or behavioral characteristics.

So the main signs of misogyny are:

hatred is directed at all women, regardless of their merits and social status;
belittling all achievements of the weaker sex;
deification of the image of a man;
communication with the weaker sex in the form of ridicule or open insults;
inability to establish psychological contact with a woman;
the requirement of unquestioning submission from the weaker sex;
blaming women for all sins, from meteorite falls to rain;
reluctance to perceive a woman as a full partner and member of society.

The egocentrism of misogynistic men applies only to women, but at the same time they can be quite successful people and respected representatives of the stronger sex. After all, they extol men, especially those who have reached heights, and poison their own wives, but secretly.

Misogyny in women

Female misogyny is also very common

Deep hatred towards a representative of the same sex mostly takes a hidden form. After all, to despise the likeness of oneself is irrational from the point of view of society.

But the weaker sex is distinguished by greater emotionality and a predisposition to create complexes, as well as an almost animal instinct to survive at any cost.

Female misogyny in most cases occurs against the background of the following factors:

jealousy of a rival if a more successful man is next to her;
appearance, especially if your own parameters are far from the standard ideal;
prosperity that allows other women to achieve greater success;
personal characteristics that allow some girls to like them without much effort, but for others become hard psychological work.

Thus, a woman can only feel hatred towards that representative of the fairer sex who acts as a competitor in a certain area, professional or personal.
A misogynistic woman feels great only in a male society, where she can receive not only recognition, but also opportunities that her sisters are unlikely to provide her with.

Misogyny in men

It is believed that, to one degree or another, hatred of women is inherent in all representatives of the stronger half of humanity. A simple example shows what misogyny is in men in everyday life. Almost any individual can allow his circle of friends to express contempt for the fair sex (however, like women, they are sometimes inclined to discuss their gentlemen). The stable condition in men manifests itself in two forms:

Active . A person openly shows a negative attitude towards the opposite sex through statements and behavior. He propagates his views among representatives of the stronger half of humanity.
Hidden . The man wears a ladies' man mask. The reasons for this behavior may be fear, a sense of revenge or deceit. He tries in every possible way to please women at the first meetings. With closer and longer acquaintance, misogyny manifests itself in full, which leads to a break in the relationship.

Misogyny in men - signs

The mental state of hatred is closely related to egoism. What is misogyny in men can be recognized by the following signs:

The behavior reveals hidden and overt manners that insult and humiliate women.
There is a habit of expressing ourselves in sayings and phrases relating to female dignity.
There is an attitude in his mind: in all cases, the woman is solely to blame.
The misogynist is deeply convinced that the weaker sex is created to satisfy the whims of the stronger half.
In his opinion, he must humiliate himself in order to help a woman.
In intimate relationships, he cares only about his own satisfaction.
Patients with misogyny tend to deify a man, considering him the “crown of creation.”
The negative attitude extends to representatives of the entire weaker sex.
There is all sorts of belittling and ignoring of the successes and achievements of women.

Types of misogyny

Signs of misogyny to one degree or another can be observed in almost all men.
After all, society itself initially assigns women a secondary role. If a man considers his beloved woman to be superior to himself, it means that he belittles his manhood and appears weak. The stronger sex cannot afford such behavior, therefore, in certain situations, they are ready to blame even their own mother for all sins.

But talking over a glass of beer and praising one’s own merits is just a man’s way of self-expression, and open bullying of women is already psychosis. But between simple conversation and mental deviation, there are several borderline states, which are also a manifestation of misogyny.

So this psychological deviation can be:

not active
, that is, weakly expressed neglect under the influence of emotions or a certain situation;
active
, expressed in open neglect and humiliation of women;
latent
, that is, hidden with the possibility of destroying a woman’s personality under the guise of good intentions;
open
, leading to disgust due to the development of psychosis.

The first two signs are not particularly dangerous, because open rudeness can be fought, and temporary humiliation goes away on its own.
But other manifestations of misogyny can cause irreparable harm to a woman. Especially if a man hides his disdain under the guise of a ladies' man, with a subsequent increase in psychological pressure reaching the point of open hatred.

Misogyny - examples

A clear expression of a negative attitude towards women is the typical images and stereotypes of behavior that abound in modern society.

Misogyny and sexism are manifested in the male image of a rich but aging “daddy” who marries a girl much younger than him. Here the wife's role is that of a prestigious, beautiful appendage to a wealthy man.
On the contrary, the young gigolo and polygamist despises the one who supports him. At the right moment, he abandons the next victim of deception.
The Taskmaster Syndrome. The desire to rise above other women in the eyes of men, to take them under one’s “guardianship” is the driving motive for the behavior of such ladies.
Stereotype of a strong independent woman. In this case, misogyny is the opposition of the feminine essence intended by nature itself. A woman's true strength lies in her apparent weakness.

What are the dangers of misogyny?

The main danger is that the person with the problem is confident in the correctness of his behavior. Where misogyny leads can be traced through the example of family relationships. In the conditions of tyranny that develops in the family of a misogonist, a woman is forced to get used to the image of a victim. The more the sufferer lives in it, the stronger the psychological attachment she becomes to her tormentor. Sometimes you have to gather all your spiritual strength, enlist the support of relatives and call for help from law enforcement agencies in order to get out from under the power of a misogonist.

Hatred towards the other sex is a problem not only for men, but also for women.

Not only men in our country traditionally do not respect and belittle women in every possible way, but it happens (and not so rarely) the opposite. This topic was raised in one way or another in Russian, and before that, in late Soviet society. Now scientists have gotten around to studying this phenomenon. Olga Savinskaya, academic director of the HSE graduate school in sociological sciences, talks with a Rosbalt correspondent .

— Olga Borisovna, how did the idea of studying “internal misandry” come about — and “what is it eaten with?”

— “Misandry” is the dislike or hostility of women towards men. Just like “misogyny” is the dislike or hostility of men towards women. It all started with misogyny, which is more widely known. Still, gender studies are aimed at strengthening the positions of the weak and discriminated against in a traditional patriarchal society - women, first of all.

Five years ago, we conducted a study on the phenomenon of “learned misogyny” - when women agree with the stereotypes of the male world that belittle them and reproduce them in their own speech. Roughly speaking, “women against women.”

- Like, “a woman’s mind is short”, “we do it better in the kitchen”...?

21211 What's wrong with the generation of thirty-year-olds

- Including. There are several performances that have been going on since ancient times. The main thing for a woman is marriage, housekeeping and everyday life. For a woman, appearance is extremely important - and women's careers are made through flirting and through bed. And leadership and leadership are exclusively male matters. These are the “attitudes” that many of our women, socializing in a patriarchal society, accepted.

— How exactly did you discover this?

— Our capabilities are relatively modest; we could not conduct surveys of many thousands using a strictly verified representative sample. This is a pilot study carried out together with colleague Elizaveta Zakharova.

First, we conducted ten in-depth interviews with women of different ages and social status, selected from social networks, who reported the behavior of interest to us. We talked in quite a lot of detail, and even showed excerpts from films that contain stereotypes that degrade women - we took such films from the world cinema fund as “Mona Lisa Smile”, “Suffragette” and “Erin Brockovich”.

Well, in particular, we heard the following judgments: “You come to the gym, it means there are girls running around in short shorts and tank tops, they obviously didn’t come to work out.” Or: “When I see women in cool cars, a Porsche Cayenne there, I immediately understand where she got this Cayenne from. Of course, she couldn’t earn it as a young girl.”

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Have men become weak or just different?

Based on these interviews, we conducted, again through social networks, a mass survey of 380 women. We offered them a “Likert scale” - a set of judgments with which they were asked to agree or disagree. The results were not very cheerful - from the point of view of equality and gender cooperation.

Last year, my colleague Elena Pyatkova and I decided - using this analogy - to start exploring the attitude of our women towards men. Also, first there were eight in-depth interviews, and then a survey of 280 women.

- And then our brother got it?

— We can say that, yes, it worked. It turned out that women are very good at belittling the traditional advantages and strengths of men, turning them from advantages into disadvantages. For example, what is the primary traditional role of a husband and father?

- “Breadwinner”...

- Right. And because he brings money, they don’t ask him to do household chores. Well, that's not the case now. Women emphasize that at home and in the family they do and decide everything, and the husband is “just a wallet.” The “breadwinner” loses its semantic role within the family, its advantage turns into a disadvantage.

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“Knowledge is overrated among prodigies.”

At work, the traditional image of the leader who has achieved everything is being challenged. Many women emphasize that female employees play the main role, while the male boss actually does nothing but appropriates the fruits of their labor.

According to many respondents, men “become cowardly,” “very weak,” “afraid of losing their comfort zone,” “cannot do anything,” “neither fish nor fowl,” and so on. “Men were respected all the time. A couple is walking, and the woman looks at her man in any way. What now? A woman is walking, and next to her is an application. I often hear the phrase among my friends that he’s just an inseminator, that’s all,” said one of the interviews.

While women traditionally admired men's knowledge and skills - and men only admired their appearance - this is largely no longer the case. Women pay considerable attention to a man's appearance - and condemn men's sloppiness. What has always been considered “brutalism” and “street style of a man” is now perceived as “sloppyness”, “untidiness”. By the way, modern men's grooming clubs and all these barbershops are one of the reactions to this.

And another important part of the female misandrist conversation: a man as a source of danger and aggression. Women shared their fears, they say, “in the city at night, if someone follows you, it’s probably a man: a homeless person who will beg for a drink - or someone wants to meet you, but you don’t need that at all.” And so on, right up to the rapist.

- Well, that’s logical. Men have no reason to be deluded... And how did these views vary among women?

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Ariadne's Elusive Thread

— In both studies, neither education, nor status, nor position played a special role. All that matters is age and the presence of children. The older a woman is and the more children she has, which is consistent with each other, the more willingly she accepts misandrist attitudes - and the more critical she is of the male sex. Young people are more inclined towards equality.

But we don’t yet know what will happen next to the younger generation. Either “with age and experience this will go away,” and girls beaten by life will share the disappointments of their mothers, or, indeed, the new generation will be more equal. In particular, we still know little about misandry - while preparing for the study, we discovered that there is very little world scientific literature on this topic.

I would like to hope that our research, carried out with modest efforts on a small sample, will be “picked up” by more powerful sociological teams. In particular, there is a need for large longitudinal studies that are repeated over the years, with a stable composition of respondents.

Well, and, of course, we believe that, first of all, we need to move away from hate speech, from belittling each other. This applies to both sexes. “Expressive hate speech” doesn’t suit any of us.

Interviewed by Leonid Smirnov

How to get rid of misogyny?

To cope with this problem, it is recommended to seek help from a specialist who will help you understand the true causes and will monitor the progress and effectiveness of therapy. Treatment is complicated by the fact that a person often considers all his actions to be normal. The process of how to treat misogyny includes certain steps:

Awareness of the current situation. The person himself must understand that he has a problem.
Seeing a psychologist for a course of psychotherapy. The causes of a hateful attitude may lie in early childhood, so the help of a hypnologist may be needed.
Periodic and constant reflection. This is a conscious review of behavior and its correction.
Control over speech. This will help you get rid of the patterned thinking that fuels hatred of women.