How to close the gestalt yourself. Reasons for unclosed gestalts

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I often hear from people that they need to close the gestalt and they don’t even understand what it is and why it is important for personal success, a calm and happy life. How to close the gestalt yourself, read below, I will give a couple of ideas, but I do not guarantee the result. Why? I will explain in this article.

How to close a gestalt?

The most important task for closing the gestalt is to understand that everything happens inside you. The responsibility for what is happening lies only in the depths of your soul and childhood. Accordingly, you need to start by recognizing that by understanding yourself, you will change the world/situation around you.

Next, become aware of the situation that you don’t like. It could be relationships, money problems, or the victim's condition. You can write down absolutely any problem here. After all, a problem is essentially an unfinished gestalt.

Choosing a problem

Once you have chosen the problem, trust yourself and ask the question, how old were you when the problem appeared in your life? The main thing here is to try not to think logically, but to feel with your inner gaze what your intuition tells you.

The answer can be absolutely any 1,3,5,9, 15 years. Even the prenatal period sometimes comes up. Just trust yourself and choose the age at which the incomplete gestalt appeared. You may not even see the picture of the situation yet.

For example, you felt that the unclosed gestalt is at 1.5 years. Next, we ask questions to remember the situation:

1. Morning afternoon Evening Night?
2. Outdoors or indoors?
3. Day of the week?
4. Season?
5. Who is next to you?

When you asked yourself questions, a picture of a situation in which the gestalt remained open begins to emerge.

Next, ask yourself the question: (be sure to write it down on a piece of paper)

What emotions do you feel in this situation?

What decisions and conclusions were made in this situation?

What would you like differently?

How would you like to feel in this situation?

What would you like to do?

What would you like to say?

Example:

I’m 1.5 years old, I’m in my crib at home, it’s evening and autumn outside, I see my mom and dad quarreling over the fact that my father came home drunk again.

At this moment I feel:

Fear, apathy, anger, resentment, anger, hopelessness, self-pity... etc., etc., write everything you feel down on a piece of paper.

What decisions/conclusions were made in this situation?

1. Nobody loves me
2. They don't pay attention to me
3. I'm not needed
4. Fear of being alone
5. Everyone leaves me

The solutions are again just for example, everyone will have their own!

What would you like differently?

So that mom and dad wouldn’t quarrel, they came up to me and hugged me, took me in their arms.

Or, for example, so that such a situation does not exist at all, and I just lie and play with toys or what do children do at 1.5 years old?

How would you like to feel in this situation?

Love, care, joy, happiness, security, respect, etc., etc. write down everything you feel.

What would you like to do?

Hug mom and dad. Eat, sleep, play...

What would you like to say? (say it out loud)

Tell mom and dad that I love them...

Say: I love mom and dad

Now say out loud the essence of everything you wrote down:

...I allow myself... (say the essence from the point “What would you like differently”)

I give myself permission so that mom and dad don’t quarrel

I allow myself that this situation would not exist at all

...I allow myself... (say the essence from the point “How would you like to feel”)

I allow myself to feel: Love, care, joy, happiness, security, respect

That's all, in theory, you were supposed to cry there, and the situation would improve, if, of course, you took it seriously. Usually people don’t want to bother, but just quickly go through the points and with a sense of accomplishment that it didn’t work out, start writing angry comments that it doesn’t work.

Please don't do this, just take it seriously.

BUT, to be honest, closing the gestalt on your own is very difficult, for what reasons I will describe below.

Steps to the logical end as a path to freedom

No psychotherapist will help if a person devotes all his free time to mental suffering. Only constant work on one’s own behavior and self-control will be the main step towards liberation:

READ How to get your girlfriend back after a breakup: proven methods

1. Changing route and habits. Perception and memory are influenced not only by the image of a person, but also by smells, sounds, music or surroundings. Psychologists recommend not visiting places dear to your heart, so as not to reinforce your emotions.
2. Destruction of "relics". It is advisable to get rid of things and significant gifts in one fell swoop, otherwise trinkets and photographs will remind you of past love.
3. Psychological method “Empty chair”. It is necessary to imagine your ex-partner sitting opposite - and tell him everything that is painful. It is necessary to voice grievances, complaints, talk through critical moments in relationships in order to let go of painful relationships.

If your imagination is tight or it’s difficult to talk to an empty space, you can express yourself in writing. The main task is not to send a message under any circumstances, so as not to provoke a real showdown. By writing down grievances, you can become aware of the existing problems that are preventing you from moving forward.

Gestalt is, in simple words.

Translation from German: incompleteness.

All our problems in life are, in fact, unfinished gestalts.

Money, relationships and even health, because... Many diseases appear due to psychosomatics.

If we take from the example above, in that situation where mom and dad were quarreling, you expected that mom and dad would come up and hug you and say that they love you. But this did not happen, so the gestalt is not closed.

And that’s it, from this moment you begin to live in need to be loved. By the way, this is where the feeling of jealousy is born.

What do we get next? In any of your relationships, you demand love from your partner and do not always give yours. You as a consumer or owner.

It is important to note here that everything manifests itself differently for everyone.

So, what is next?

Accordingly, you began to project the same situation onto your relationship, you also quarrel with your partner, and in fact it doesn’t matter whether he is good or bad, you are just following the same program as mom and dad

Moreover, your partner also projects the relationship of his mother and father onto your relationship.

"Husband and wife, one of Satan"

But the need for love in that coin remained unfinished, so we just need to change the picture in our head from negative to positive and that’s it, the relationship will improve, and you will become a little happier.

Psychologists would NOT want you to know these secrets about yourself

—Imagine this situation...
What if, instead of paying for years for useless consultations with a psychologist, in 21 days you can work with yourself? Get rid of negative thoughts and states forever. And instead live a calm and happy life? Stop living in stress due to relationships or constant lack of money?

Tell me this is impossible?

I thought so too, until I started working with myself

LIVING HAPPY IS EASY

My name is Ivan, I am 35 years old, and I have been practicing psychology for 15 years. I have studied all the basic methods and techniques through which I help people find happiness. NLP, hypnosis, body-image therapy. I was invited on television as an expert.

And it was... just a nightmare!

I lived in a state of depression for 7 years (constant stress exhausted me). I had a lot of low self-confidence (my self-esteem was below 0). I could not calmly communicate with people, it seemed to me that I was not worthy of them.

The relationship did not work out (because I was very negative, jealous, a doormat). I’m generally silent about decent earnings; I earned 15,000 rubles a month and thought that was the limit. I didn’t want to live... Envy.

The worst thing is, I thought I would have to live like this forever, and I don’t deserve love and happiness.

But it only got worse, negative states fell on me like a snowball. It felt like I was sitting in a deep, black hole from which there was no way out. Hopelessness, despair, pain, resentment.

My life has turned into endless torture. But then a miracle happened...

I FOUND THE KEY... EVERYONE HAS IT...

One day my father came home from work, a little drunk, although he never drank much.

He came into the kitchen..., looked at me with a dissatisfied expression and began to say with anger how worthless I was, how I couldn’t do anything, and in general, how sorry he was that he was my father.

At first I felt severe mental pain (this is very painful to hear from my family). Then I got offended (does that mean I’m not a favorite son?!) And then an insight came to me...

I received that magical kick that I had been waiting for all my life. It changed my thinking, my life and my relationships with my environment.

I had already forgiven my father simply because he told me the truth and I was happy about it!

But then the most interesting thing began...

Literally 5 minutes later I was already sitting at the computer and writing out all the psychological (!) methods of working with myself.

I was even confused, because my plans were to continue to suffer all my life.

It was such an incredible feeling of freedom and desire to do something that I burst into tears of happiness.

THE MAIN SECRET OF HAPPINESS

If you think that you cannot change your life, become rich or successful, or create a happy relationship - you are mistaken!

You can change your life by changing your thinking and the main thing is to do it EASILY!

• 5 simple and powerful methods of working with yourself (they work even if you use them incorrectly) - You don’t have to turn to psychologists, you are your own psychologist.

• “The secret method” of working through any negative state. This will allow you to eliminate the negative and switch to the positive in 5 minutes.

• 15 minutes a day - Just 15 minutes a day to change your life 180 degrees. Become happier and more joyful.

• Saving up to 100,000 rubles in 1 year - You will save on trips to a psychologist, and spend the saved money on a vacation by the sea.

• 21 days – It only takes 21 days for you to see changes in your life. You will start smiling. Wake up with joy.

DOWNLOAD THE “GUIDE TO CHANGING YOURSELF” FOR FREE

For 7 days, access to the “Guide to Changing Yourself” will be free, everyone can download it from Telegram using the button below.

PS If you want to say “thank you” to me, just download the guide and start using it every day.

PPS How about becoming happy today? =)

Gestalt therapy

This is one of the types of psychotherapy, founded by F. Perls in the 50s of the last century. The subject of Gestalt therapy is the contact and boundaries within which a person and everything that surrounds him is located. Contact is the solvation of the needs of the individual with the capabilities of the environment. It turns out that a specific need can only be satisfied by making contact with the outside world. (You can quench your thirst if you take water.)

The main technique of such therapy is a game based on dialogue within oneself. The conversation is conducted with one or more parts of one's own personality. In principle, all therapy is aimed at completing some previously abandoned task - gestalt.

The circle of correct gestalt looks like this:

1. A need arises.
2. Ways are being sought to satisfy it.
3. Satisfaction occurs.
4. Contact with the outside world ends.

There are always a number of factors that interfere with the ideal process. If the cycle is not completed, then the person feels exhausted throughout his life and cannot open up to new desires. An incomplete gestalt can cause a serious disruption in the protective properties of the human psyche.

Gestalt psychology and therapy is an opportunity to help “oneself” and find the root causes of internal inconsistencies, to put it briefly. There are a number of exercises aimed at accepting oneself and what lies beyond the real at the same time. They should help you start thinking about yourself and opening up to the world. Find more engaging interactive content developed by leading psychologists on BrainApps. Tests and courses on self-development, over 90 exciting games will allow you to understand your inner experiences even faster and put everything in its place.

Why is it difficult to close the gestalt on your own?

This is the most important question. I have been studying psychology since I was 15 years old, as I myself had a lot of problems in relationships, low self-esteem, resentment towards parents, and so on.

I searched for many techniques to help me free myself from negativity from the past. I worked with myself for 7 years and thought that I was effectively closing gestalts. But I was wrong.

When I started working with my psychologist (yes, yes, psychologists are crazy themselves) I was simply shocked how effective and easy it is to work when you are led, and not with yourself.

Simply put, it is very difficult to independently find the root cause of an unclosed gestalt, which can be hidden even in the prenatal period. You cannot guide yourself deeply. This is the whole huge problem of independent work.

You will simply remove what is on the surface, but you will never remove the root cause (root) yourself.

While working with a psychologist, I realized that you need someone who will control and guide you, guide you, provoke you a little, and then there will be happiness and the immediate effect of a closed gestalt.

The Hidden Danger of Incompleteness

If a person accumulates started tasks every day, they will result in persistent anxiety.

An open gestalt in a relationship poses a great threat:

1. Even the strongest personality will slow down in development and will helplessly mark time. In a state of incompleteness, it is difficult to build harmonious relationships, move forward and set goals. The person begins to replay the scenario of a past life, imagining a happy ending.
2. Escaping into a fantasy world will certainly result in emotional distress or psychosomatic illness. Nervous colitis, asthma, dermatitis of various etiologies and even infertility - here is a short list of possible ailments with incomplete gestalt.
3. A person does not see the meaning of life, preferring to go with the flow. He may not be happy with the conditions in which he finds himself, but he is not going to change anything. One of the forms of gestalt manifests itself in complete apathy and laziness, a decrease in vitality.
4. Strong emotional experiences often become the cause of prolonged depression or acute neurosis. Against the backdrop of stress, a person may have thoughts of suicide - in this case, it is better to solve the problem not on your own, but with the help of a specialist.
5. General dissatisfaction with life and internal discomfort appear.

Most of the energy is spent maintaining the illusion of a non-existent relationship. A person's physical and mental resources are depleted, which leads to irritability, poor concentration and insomnia.

Wealth, success and unclosed gestalt

A very important topic for our society, most of us want to become rich and successful. But until you close all the gestalts associated with these topics, you shouldn’t even dream about big money.

After all, we get all the information about the world from our environment, right?

Just imagine that your mom and dad told you that money is bad, the rich steal everything, and so on in the same spirit. Do you think it will be easy for you to earn a lot of money, become rich and successful?

Of course not!

Therefore, money gestalts also need to be closed.

My recommendations

Our psyche does not tolerate incompleteness and uncertainty. Subconsciously we strive for comfort and stability. Therefore, we will try to satisfy the need from an open gestalt. But isn't it better to do this consciously? And here's how:

• clearly describe what is bothering you;
• identify the main need;
• satisfy her.

For example, you are still worried that your parents did not buy you a toy or did not allow you to enroll in a music club and instead sent you to drawing. Buy a toy now for yourself, learn to play a musical instrument on your own, “finish off” the gestalt according to the scheme that we discussed above, and continue to live happily. Everything here is more or less simple and clear.

But what if the gestalt is associated with something intangible, for example, with a cruel attitude of your parents towards you, with dismissal or breakup of a relationship without an explanation? The working principle is the same, but it will take more time. You cannot force another person to be with you or behave differently towards you, you cannot change another.

What does it mean to close the gestalt? In simple words and accessible language, this means satisfying a significant need inherent in it, completing the task. This applies to both the material and the spiritual:

1. You worry that you didn’t get enough care from your parents as a child. Write down what you understand to be caring and give it to yourself.
2. Are you worried that you never confessed your love to some girl? Do it now or use the writing technique (depending on the big picture, current circumstances in general).
3. You still don’t understand why someone stopped communicating with you? Ask him about it or mentally construct a dialogue and tell yourself what you want to hear.
4. Are you worried that you didn't give a book to the library when you were a child? Take it now or donate some books to another library.
5. Did your parents forbid you everything as a child? Allow yourself now to live in accordance with your desires. Please note: do not act to spite your parents or try everything, but turn only to what meets your desires, helps develop abilities, etc.

Any situation can be analyzed and resolved this way. The main thing is to analyze and delve into what bothers you.

conclusions

I don’t know how well I described to you the moments of closing the gestalt because... Now in Moscow there is a sultry heat (07.2021), from which the brain melts.

I want to convey that if you work on your own, try not to expect instant results because... Most likely you will not get to the root of the problem on your own.

The most interesting thing is that if you remove the root of the problem, then all the secondary situations that occurred later are automatically removed.

As an example, let’s take the topic of jealousy; it usually forms 3-4 months from conception in the mother’s womb. And the reason for it is that the father did not want the child and abandoned him. It’s worse if both parents didn’t want the child, there will be a big tangle of problems.

And if you close this gestalt at the very root, then all the situations where you were jealous in life will close themselves. Did you explain it clearly? If not, write in the comments and I will describe it in more detail or even rewrite the article.

How to determine your own gestalt

There are two diagnostic methods. The first is to listen to yourself. Indicators are hidden resentment, a thirst for revenge, a craving for frank conversations with someone who has long been “indifferent” to you. The second way is to analyze current events. Life cycles, spirals, returning to the same places - these are signs of an existing problem. Do you break up with all your partners in the same way? This is a throwback to an unfinished love affair. You are assessing current situations incorrectly and you need to work on this. We hope you can manage without the help of a professional psychotherapist.

Vdovin Ivan

• More than 15 years in psychology
• Owner of 2 successful businesses
• Developed his own method “Key Therapy”
• Certified NLP Practitioner
• Certified Hypnotherapist
• In practice I use: Gestalt therapy, imagery therapy, body therapy, art therapy, hypnosis, Hellinger constellations
• Helped over 100 clients
• I invested more than 500,000 rubles in my education
• My blog is visited by more than 1500 people per day

Reviews

How to work through your childhood unfinished gestalts?

Unclosed gestalt is a very common problem. This is due to the fact that many people suffer from incompleteness that formed many years ago. If in adult life a person experiences difficulties due to childhood grievances, then in this case psychologists recommend several things.

Signs of an open gestalt in a relationship

This type of addiction is a very common problem.

There are several clear signs that a person is focused on past relationships:

• Persistent resentment. This manifestation of unclosed gelstatt can include the state when a person constantly remembers relationships in a negative way.
• A person who suffers from an incomplete gestalt constantly compares his current partner with his previous one.
• Friendly relations with relatives and friends of the ex-partner. This is considered the norm only if a person does not expect his friends to constantly tell him about the life of his ex-girlfriend or boyfriend.
• Too much interest. A sign of an unfinished relationship is that after a breakup, one of the partners constantly monitors the other’s life through social networks.

Any manifestation of dependence indicates the presence of gelstat.

How does modern science relate to Gestalt?

The first Gestalt psychologists only found some patterns in the functioning of the human brain, but did not explain their origin. However, neurophysiological observations helped to do this.

Since the 1950s, Hubel DH, Wiesel TN Brain and visual perception: the story of a 25-year collaboration on perception studies have been conducted. Neurons have been discovered that respond to complex stimuli. For example, on the face in general, and not on features such as the shape of the nose, eyes, and others.

Further research has shown that we perceive the whole picture much earlier than we perceive its individual components. It is enough just to look for a moment at the image of a forest, and we will immediately say that there are trees in front of us, but we will not notice whether they are maples or oaks.

In the early 2000s, scientists discovered another principle of how the brain works: predictive coding. It turns out that our mind does not analyze all information from the outside at once. First it “predicts” Wagemans J., Feldman J., Gepshtein S., et al. A century of Gestalt psychology in visual perception: II. Conceptual and theoretical foundations / Psychological Bulletin possible developments based primarily on experience rather than new data. It works like this: the brain sends information from higher neurons to lower ones, and then correlates it with data from the senses. This is done on the basis of past knowledge, that is, certain holistic images or, in other words, gestalts.

Thus, neuroscience indirectly confirmed the hypotheses of Gestalt psychologists.

How to complete the gestalt in a relationship on your own?

It is in love relationships that such problems most often arise. Due to increased emotional dependence on another person, it becomes very difficult to move to the next level and leave past relationships with pleasant memories.

An open gestalt is a problem that can and should be solved. There are several methods on how to do this.

Rebuild the Gestalt

To do this, a man or woman needs to find a new partner who will arouse very strong interest.

If a new relationship “overlaps” the previous ones in its emotionality, then an unsuccessful attempt to build a relationship will quickly be forgotten.

If it is difficult to start a new relationship, then in this case you need to switch to some interesting hobby that can cause a surge of emotions.

Think logically

First of all, you need to understand why the previous relationship ended. It is important to determine why experiences still continue to emerge in the subconscious. Most likely, we are talking about some kind of complex. If you acknowledge their presence, you can begin to work on yourself to become better.

In addition, it is recommended to speculate on the topic that perhaps the previous partner was overrated. It is worth reconsidering your internal “filter” for choosing a future partner.

Forgive

As a rule, the problem of an unclosed gestalt is associated with the fact that the previous partner inflicted very serious moral trauma. For example, a husband could cheat on his wife, and after that she holds a grudge against him for many years.

However, you need to understand that this, first of all, harms the woman herself and prevents her from building a successful relationship. Therefore, you need to subconsciously tear out any resentment from yourself and try to forgive the person who made this fatal mistake.

Psychologists also identify another strategy for completing gestalt, which includes 4 stages:

1. Staging. This is really a small theatrical production. To do this, you need to imagine the face of your ex-partner. After this, you need to very clearly visualize exactly how he asks for forgiveness for what he did. Don't be shy. You can safely express all your complaints and grievances to this image. After this, you need to logically complete this situation. For example, you can tell this image that it is forgiven, or you can yell at it and declare that it is all over now. It is best to perform this exercise with a real person, for example, an acquaintance who has agreed to play the role of a former partner.

   

2. Fantasies. As a rule, after the first stage, most people experience serious relief, but the gestalt is not yet closed. Therefore, at the second stage, you need to fantasize a little and speculate about what would have happened if the separation had not happened. You need to mentally play out all the possible options that could happen next. For example, you can imagine a wedding, the birth of children, buying a house, a car. However, we should not forget that every family has everyday problems. Therefore, it is worth starting to fantasize and visualize how life would turn out if there was not enough money, constant problems, demands, and scandals would appear.
3. Liberation. At the third stage, you need to form for yourself the right image of family and normal relationships. To do this, you need to share your fears and concerns with someone close to you. You definitely need to tell him all your doubts that are related to everyday problems, lack of money and other things. The more a person begins to talk about such problems, the easier he begins to relate to them. As a result, it will be easier to begin to form for yourself the correct model of family and happy family relationships.
4. Humility. You need to accept what happens in life. If there was a breakup, it means that this was supposed to happen. It is quite possible that something more beautiful and interesting awaits a person in the future, so all that remains is to wait.

Why do you need to close gestalts?

Research by Gestalt psychologists is useful not only from a theoretical point of view, but also from a practical one.

It helps maintain mental health

Gestalt psychologists believe Raffagnino R. Gestalt Therapy Effectiveness: A Systematic Review of Empirical Evidence / Open Journal of Social Sciences that human needs successively replace each other when they are satisfied. These can be either natural needs such as thirst or hunger, or aspirations, dreams, plans for life.

If these needs have not been realized, they begin to disturb us and drain the resources of the brain and body. Such needs came to be called “unclosed gestalts.” They cause feelings of unresolved anger, pain, anxiety and other negative emotions.

This helps you stay organized and finish what you start.

Unclosed gestalts greatly influence all areas of our lives. This demonstrates the effect that was discovered by Zolotova N.V., Mazilov V.A., Bazikov M.V. The scientific heritage of B.V. Zeigarnik in domestic medical (clinical) psychology / Yaroslavl Pedagogical Bulletin, Soviet psychologist Bluma Zeigarnik. The researcher noticed that waiters remember current orders well and almost immediately forget completed ones.

The Zeigarnik effect shows that unfinished tasks are strongly imprinted in our memory. They haunt us, as the brain periodically reproduces them. Therefore, it is important not to delay resolving issues that concern you. Unclosed gestalts not only harm the psyche, but also distract from other matters.

It calms us down and gives us a feeling of control over the situation.

According to predictive coding theory, the brain's ultimate goal is to learn to predict a situation as accurately as possible. The correct guess is reinforced by a dose of dopamine. Remember the rapture you feel when you say: “I knew it!”

A problem solved on time brings a feeling of satisfaction and the feeling that you did everything right, because the brain’s prediction was confirmed.

How do you understand that your gestalt is not complete?

There are signs “from the subconscious”:

1. Any childhood memory causes unconscious pain, dissatisfaction and sadness arise.
2. You are haunted by the same dreams, and they remind you of some situations from the past.
3. The relationships you enter into follow the same pattern.
4. The people you meet have something subtly similar, the same.
5. You get angry at people close to you for no apparent reason.
6. You periodically experience unpleasant physical sensations (nausea, pain) when communicating with specific people.

There are also objective signs of an incomplete gestalt:

1. Anxiety, panic attacks

If you are overcome by anxiety, psychosis for unknown reasons, and are overcome by anxiety when there is some work ahead or a new relationship is on the horizon, this is a clear sign of an unfinished gestalt.

Your worry and anxiety are visible to the naked eye to anyone. And for this reason alone we can say that you are not ready for a new relationship. Who would want to make acquaintance or continue to communicate with a person who clearly shows signs of mental illness. Yes Yes. This is exactly what it looks like.

1. Inability to complete things (both in relationships and at work)

You cannot finish things, usually for reasons unknown to you. It seems as if an invisible irresistible force is preventing this. And then a person looks for signs of karma, fate, damage, curse, etc.

In a relationship, this means that you are “starting to gather clouds” (in new ones) and have not done anything to complete the previous ones. And you yourself immediately remember that your mother (grandmother, aunt, great-grandmother, etc.) had about the same thing, it’s in the family, you can’t take it away, you’ve been with it through life, etc. Meanwhile, the matter - only in yourself (and your relatives, most likely, also had open gestalts!). That's all the mysticism.

1. Avoidance of relationships

Avoiding new relationships is avoiding new pain by analogy with the old one (troubles are remembered most of all with an open gestalt). Moreover, sometimes you don’t even fully understand that you yourself are avoiding relationships. In such cases, people tend to hide behind important, perhaps even non-existent, matters. You are invited to the cinema, and you unconsciously suddenly decide that today you need to visit your parents, although they did not ask you to do this and would generally be happy if they finally met a new person! Or a man (whom you basically like) shows signs of attention, and at that time you decide to go on vacation, and the relationship does not have time to develop, etc.

1. The same scenario for subsequent relationships

This is called “stepping on the same rake.” That is, a person with an incomplete gestalt often finds himself in the same situation (he is robbed several times, gets into accidents, becomes a victim of scammers, etc.). But in relationships, he always behaves approximately the same (this is the order of things in unclosed past relationships), and therefore they are doomed to another failure.

If you want to have a fundamentally new relationship with a person you have never had before, remember: you must change yourself. Understand and accept yourself, complete open gestalts with former partners, and only then try to build a new line. When you yourself change, the results will not keep you waiting long.

Methods and ways to close the gelstat yourself

It is possible to close the gelstat on your own only after realizing the involuntary concentration on the past. A psychologist can provide great help in getting out of this situation, but you can try to cope with the situation on your own, by trying to let go of past events and partners and focus on the present time.

Realize your own unfinished gelstate

First of all, you should understand your own emotions and feelings, deciding on those that cause the most severe pain. Having concentrated on the experiences, you should remember exactly why and when they arose, and determine what is associated with such a strong reaction to the situation. Experts strongly recommend that a person record the process of studying his emotions, which will allow him to look at the situation from a different angle.

Having decided on a specific problem, you need to understand exactly what actions were taken to solve the problem. If a person has done everything in his power, then further events have occurred regardless of his will, and if not, then it becomes clearly clear what else can be done to get out of the deadlock situation.

Shift attention

Most often, incomplete gelstatts arise where a person cannot influence the events that happen to him, as well as the desires, feelings and needs of other people who are important to him. Having focused on the ideal picture, the psyche cannot grasp why the partner behaved completely differently from what was planned, which did not lead to a specific, desired and already formed result in the imagination.

Having realized that the unclosed gelstatt arose precisely because of unjustified expectations of the partner’s actions, one should shift the focus to what exactly in one’s actions can be corrected, for example, by defining the desire to achieve reciprocity not as “he will definitely love me”, but as “I will try to achieve his location, maybe he will also be interested in me.”

Detailed study of the traumatic situation

Another option for closing a gelstatt could be a certain algorithm of actions aimed at:

Such work should be done gradually, allowing the psyche and mind to fully process and understand what is happening. In addition, such an exercise will also destroy stereotypical actions and thoughts, allowing you to subsequently avoid the same type of situations provoked by the gelstatt trap.