.
In the modern world, there are many opportunities to achieve success in life and no less dangers to our health, including psychological. Often you have to make difficult decisions and take responsibility for certain actions. The fear of not meeting the expectations of others can become a serious obstacle on the path of life. The fear of responsibility may not seem so scary at first. Don't believe this: people who are afraid to take a step forward are exposed to a lot of dangers. It is necessary to first understand what such fears actually are.
Fear of responsibility can cause serious trouble
Phobia or disease
What is such a phobia? This phobia has a name - hypengiophobia. Literally translated from Greek - fear of responsibility. To put it simply, it is an unreasonable, excessive fear.
Interestingly, this phobia is considered one of the most common anxiety disorders of the psyche. Based on modern lifestyles, we can be sure that more and more people are at risk. In this case, it is not so much the disease itself that is scary as its consequences. Subsequently, its functional effect on the body can cause:
- ulcers;
- cardiovascular diseases;
- strokes, heart attacks;
- hypertensive diseases.
All these factors are one of the many reasons to combat hypongiophobia.
At-risk groups
Fear of responsibility for one's life is diagnosed with equal frequency in men and women. People from authoritarian and overprotective families are at risk. Low self-esteem, complexes, uncertainty, perfectionism, dependence on other people’s opinions - all this underlies hypengiophobia, but this is associated with the suppression of a person’s personality and independence in childhood.
Interesting! Psychologists note that women are more susceptible to fear of responsibility than men.
Root causes of hypengiophobia
Why do we fear responsibility? What are its reasons? As psychologists say, all our fears and phobias come from childhood. Fear of responsibility is no exception. The root cause of such fear may be psychological trauma in childhood or adolescence. The most likely reason why a person develops a fear of responsibility is parents who cared too much about the child in childhood and instilled in him the inability to decide something on his own. In another case, the reason for this could be punishment for incorrect actions or mistakes, which entailed a reluctance to make decisions on their own.
Scientists say that 20% of newborns exhibit neurochemical processes that are the basis of hypersensitivity to stress and any innovations.
The reason for this may be hereditary connections. Thus, the part of the brain that is responsible for fear due to hypersensitivity panics. As a result, we get a ready-made phobia that needs to be fought.
Two in ten babies are hypersensitive to stress
Methods for getting rid of fear
Smile. Pretend you're playing a role
If you have the thought “I’m afraid of responsibility,” then you need to think about how to cope with this fear.
- Method "under a microscope". You need to carefully examine the essence of your fear. Analyze the situation as a whole, pay attention to the smallest details. When you look at everything, you will be able to realize that in fact the problem is not as terrible as it seems.
- "Flood". A person must mentally imagine that he is in a situation that requires him to make an emergency decision. At this moment, it is important to gather yourself, remain calm and think through possible ways out. Such training will help you cope with responsibility in real life with ease in the future.
- “The whole world is a theater.” This method helps to get rid of unnecessary stress. Your task is to imagine that everything is not happening for real; you are an actor playing a certain role. This will make it much easier to make decisions and be responsible for something.
Manifestation of fear
How does this phobia manifest itself? Everything is very simple. Very often this can be found among people who occupy high leadership positions. Subsequently, you get the feeling that you control everything and, in fact, all responsibility falls on one fragile shoulders. This can't help but frighten. Along with the fear of responsibility, third-party fears also arise.
- Fear of affected pride.
- Fear of inadequacy.
- Fear of success.
- Fear of restrictions on freedom and so on.
All of them are the basis for fear. They cause a person mental discomfort and do not allow him to fully exist in society. A hypertrophied sense of responsibility may not manifest itself clearly enough until a certain turning point in life. In a hidden form, it can be detected by a person’s low self-esteem, his infantilism or selfishness. Hypengiophobia can also be traced by symptoms such as:
- insomnia;
- depression;
- cardiopalmus;
- inability to rationally evaluate one's actions.
The phobia may manifest itself as a rapid heartbeat
Why are we afraid of responsibility?
Fear of responsibility is associated with a deep-rooted feeling of insecurity about one's own capabilities. The problem is not just a fear of specific commitments. Often a person simply does not consider himself capable of making these commitments and achieving positive results without failing.
Olga Bezborodova
practicing psychologist, system therapist, specialist at the Center for Consulting and System Solutions
Fear of responsibility grows out of low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, and doubts about one’s capabilities. Which, in turn, may arise due to a lack of decision-making experience.
Hypengiophobia is also associated with the inability or unwillingness to act under conditions of uncertainty. Our lives are unpredictable, but many still try to maintain complete control over what happens to them. Imagine a situation where such a person is faced with all this uncertainty and he suddenly realizes that the only way out is to adapt to changing circumstances.
Ways to Avoid Fear
Like any phobia, such a fear can also be cured. This will require a lot of effort, but the result will be obvious. Modern medicine offers many solutions, but in severe cases, the first person to turn to for help is a psychologist.
But a responsible person can handle it on his own. The first step to solving a problem is understanding and wanting to solve it. After that, you need to start small.
- Try to take responsibility for a small action.
- Then analyze it and decide whether the fear is really as great as it seems.
- The next step will be to gradually increase the degree of responsibility.
- You should also try exercises to improve your self-esteem. Psychologists recommend a method such as meditation. For a meditation session, you can use oils from a variety of herbs to calm, for example: mint, St. John's wort, chamomile, valerian. You can supplement the treatment method with relaxing music and decoctions of the above herbs.
- Using massages and herbal baths, you can relieve muscle tension, which will help you relax faster and approach problems more constructively.
It should be remembered that this is a rather labor-intensive process that requires systematic action.
Scenario two – “underload” with responsibility
From the very beginning of a relationship, a woman really wants to show a man how independent and strong she is.
and how she doesn’t need anything from him except pure love (we won’t analyze the reasons for this behavior now, there can be many of them - they don’t affect the essence of what’s happening). At first the man is a little surprised, rejoicing - how lucky he is, no one sits on his neck, this is happiness - all the joys of owning a woman without the slightest hint of “retribution” in the form of any responsibility!
And at this time the woman is waiting: well, tell me so that I don’t carry bags anymore, don’t work 12 hours a day, don’t decide for two where to go in the summer - take at least a little responsibility off of me!
But mind you - voluntarily
, so that you can say: “oh, how generous you are, no one has ever cared about me so much,” etc.!
However... the man is simple and short-sighted. He won't realize for a long time that this is exactly what is expected of him.
, sincerely thinking that he got a “grandmother” who is not only responsible for herself in life, but will also take some of his problems and troubles away!
And at this time the woman thinks... that the man is afraid of responsibility - that’s why he doesn’t make generous offers! The matter may end in a loud scandal: “Oh , I want this and that, but you’re just afraid of responsibility.”
“You’re not a man, you’re a rag!!!”
If there is a hypengiophobe in your environment
From all of the above, it follows that there is no need to treat people with fear of responsibility too harshly. Under no circumstances should you reproach a person. One of the consequences of a phobia is lack of self-confidence. This is the first thing that needs to be dealt with.
The surest way to solve this problem is to sit down and talk calmly. It is necessary to explain to the person what exactly he is doing wrong, and not to label him as “lazy” or “irresponsible.”
Taking a more serious approach to studying the problem, we can conclude that it requires a solution. To live a full life, you need to overcome your phobia. Its absence will help you move up your career ladder, improve yourself and diversify your life. In addition, this is an opportunity to be a completely “healthy” person. And health, as we know, is the most valuable thing. Understanding that we ourselves are responsible for our lives is the right path to happiness and spiritual harmony.
Scenario one – “overload” with responsibility
A woman “tames” a man and waits for the moment when it is clear that the object has passionate feelings for her and is not going to run away. Then she sits on the sofa, tucking her legs under her, and with a sweet smile explains to her beloved that from now on he is responsible not only for himself and his affairs, but also for her, the woman.
- and all her difficulties and troubles will be the responsibility of the man from this day forward! A man, being in love, agrees, not yet suspecting a catch.
And then the complaints begin
: “Why haven’t you thought about how to lay tiles correctly - because of your irresponsibility you’ll have to redo it!”, “Why didn’t you find out which hotel in Turkey is better to stay in - MaryIvanna and her husband had a much better holiday for the same money!?”, and etc.
That is, with the murderous argument “ YOU MAN, you are responsible for everything!!
“The woman quietly withdraws from everywhere where responsible decisions and actions are generally needed.
Men are afraid of such total responsibility (and personally, I would not dare to condemn them for this!). And then, feeling that the burden of debt is getting heavier, the man can simply... leave.
Causes:
- A man is afraid of responsibility for something for which he himself did not want to take it upon himself
- responsibility was pinned on him with the same argument “you’re a man!” - He becomes uninterested in the woman
. Imagine, men also want to see an adult and responsible person in a woman, and not an infantile girl, in whom she has to constantly play the role of a sort of “daddy,” relieving her of worries and troubles! - A man may feel that he is simply being exploited.
And constantly shifting responsibility is exploitation, believe me!
Possible consequences
In addition to the fact that a constant feeling of fear can prevent a person from developing normally, communicating, and sometimes even starting a family, a phobia will have a detrimental effect on his health in general. So, as a result of constant anxiety, stress develops, which leads to the occurrence of the following pathologies:
- hypertension,
- heart attack,
- heart failure,
- tachycardia,
- gastritis,
- ulcer,
- stroke.
