Why is it important for a person to hear his name?
Psychologists have long drawn attention to the fact that a person’s perception of his name is associated with positive impressions. Hearing it since childhood, he makes an association with his personality. The personal name includes awareness and acceptance of:
- external data;
- level of emotionality;
- intellectual data;
- practical skills and abilities.
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The use of personal address implies special attention to the person, expression of respect, recognition of his value and individuality.
It is important to hear it because:
- it evokes positive associations associated with childhood, maternal love, emotional comfort;
- it confirms attention and respect for one’s personality;
- positive emotions arising in response to an appeal contribute to a positive mood and a trusting attitude towards the interlocutor.
When a guy does not say her name, this may indicate an unconscious manifestation of rejection towards her.
Advice and opinion of a psychologist - what to do
Don't worry too much about this issue. If suddenly your partner stops calling you by name, there are not necessarily bad reasons for this. Typically, a person just wants to try other forms of communication sometimes. You don’t have to panic, but you shouldn’t forget about it either.
- Freedom of speech should be gradually limited, and everything should be reduced to the name. You can ignore other verbal forms, even avoiding nicknames. Everyone has the right to set the boundaries of what is permitted, wisely inscribing actual reality into them. But, as a rule, it is better sometimes to still give freedom to your partner without overly influencing his style of behavior.
- If the conversation is about a further method of personality development, it is better to focus on other matters. It is very difficult, after many years of marriage, to convince your soul mate that it is worth returning to names as the use of names.
- Sometimes, it is easier to simply accept defeat than to try to satisfy all the requests of the other side. But this does not mean that giving up names is a complete destruction of the marriage.
- We need to come to terms with the loss of such trust and move smoothly to other issues. The name does not destroy the marriage, but only shows that there are logical problems in it.
If you do not solve them, the alarm call will not be the last. There is a high probability of not just losing your husband or wife, but destroying a strong union forever. That it was destroyed for the sake of a ridiculous attempt to bring back the old days, when there were no problems and knowledge of the partner’s personality in principle.
Main factors
Nicknames reflect different degrees and levels of relationships. Before you know their meaning, you need to find out the reasons why males sometimes shy away from naturally approaching girls.
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He doesn't want to develop a relationship
A guy may avoid directly contacting his chosen one when he does not consider the relationship to be something significant. Most likely, he perceives the connection as temporary.
Considering why a guy, being in a relationship for a long period of time, does not call a girl by name, psychology speaks of an unconscious, frivolous or superficial attitude towards his partner. A man treats relationships as entertainment. It is possible that he has another passion to which he addresses the same words.
A man has many women
Stereotypical nicknames such as “bunny”, “baby”, “baby” are often awarded to secondary partners. Thanks to this, a man protects himself from awkward situations in which girls can be confused.
If a guy is used to communicating with many women, he does not need to remember many names. Over time, this becomes a habit, as it seems convenient.
Unpleasant associations
Psychology will also help you deal with this problem. She explains this by various psychological traumas associated with a specific person's name. For example, if there was a traumatic impact of an aggressive nature towards a man as a child, then the name of his beloved evokes unpleasant associations or memories in him.
Complexes and fears inherent in childhood are not easy to recognize and eradicate even for a psychologist. Each person has their own phobias, so in such a situation you need to show leniency towards your loved one.
He doesn't like your name
Some men are convinced that the girl’s name does not suit her. Such people, as a rule, are either superstitious or passionate about astrology and numerology. They begin to address the interlocutor differently, convincing her of a more suitable nickname for her, related to the position of the stars or other factors.
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It is likely that the guy associates the girl with the stereotypical image of the heroine of his favorite literary work or film, which is why he believes that a fictitious name suits her better.
Additionally, complex names can be difficult to pronounce. If the problem is related to speech defects, for example, stuttering, the man turns to the girl in the most convenient way for him.
The meaning of affectionate nicknames:
- By saying “baby” or “baby” to a woman, a man subconsciously draws an associative parallel between his beloved and his child. He is probably ready to have children, and in this way he expresses and partially realizes his paternal instinct.
- The nicknames “bun”, “doughnut”, “doughnut” or other delicious names may indicate that the guy likes the curvaceous form of his beloved, he consciously focuses attention on the features of the girl’s appearance. To some extent, this can be considered as a compliment, indicating the guy’s satisfaction with his chosen one. Sometimes such nicknames “hint” at the girl’s thriftiness.
- When a man addresses a girl “beloved”, “dear”, this means that he strives for tenderness, needs warmth and care. In addition, by such an address he can understand an abbreviated declaration of love.
- Addressing your chosen one as “dear” or “precious” can indicate the guy’s commercial character. Perhaps he attaches great importance to money or unconsciously reproaches his partner for excessive spending.
- The nicknames “sunshine” and “happiness” speak of a positive attitude, as well as happy experiences, as they convey the internal state through direct associations.
A man often mentions affectionate nicknames “cat”, “fish” or “bunny” in correspondence, but does not call his interlocutor by name. This also speaks of positive emotions towards your loved one.
Other reasons
Sometimes a young man’s reluctance to address his beloved by name is due to the following reasons:
- Imitation. When in the guy's family the parents did not address each other in this way.
- Psychological barrier. If a guy doesn’t even use diminutive names, not wanting to get closer to a girl, he can limit himself to impersonal phrases.
- Aggressor and manipulator. In some situations, excessively sweet or sweet treatment develops into an authoritarian style of behavior. Tender words are replaced by constant criticism, grumbling, and instructions.
- Bad experience. If a girl with the same name once brought disappointment in a relationship, an unconscious defensive reaction is formed, consisting of denial.
- Good sense of humour. The guy gives nicknames to all the people around him, so he calls his beloved one in a special way.
When expressing feelings, the individuality of each man should be taken into account, since it is not easy to immediately find out why he avoids calling his beloved in the usual way. For example, some men are convinced that their own name sounds dry and official compared to affectionate nicknames.
Way out
The psychology of men is a complex science; trying to understand it on your own is simply impossible. Psychologists say that if a man calls his chosen one by name, it means that she is really dear to him, he wants to build a future with her. If this is not the case in your family, and you are trying to retrain your husband to contact you, then you should get acquainted with useful tips on this matter:
- When a man says to you: “Hare, where are you?”, answer him: “Hares are in the field, and I’m Vika.” Just do it in a humorous way so that the chosen one cannot take it as a remark. Sooner or later he will involuntarily change his habits.
- When your chosen one has a certain psychological barrier, just give him time to correct and change everything. There is no need to apply psychological pressure, since this will not achieve results.
- If a man avoids saying his name because he doesn't like it, show him that you like it that way. When your spouse loves you, he will change his mind.
- If you're not impressed by pet names, make that clear early in the relationship. There will be no problems with this in the future.
You can get out of any situation if you give it meaning, talk with your partner, find answers to all questions. There is no need to create scandals and quarrels because you are called affectionate nicknames. But sometimes this can also be quite cute, especially if the nickname is unique and describes only you.
If a husband calls his wife mom
If a husband addresses his wife as “Mom” but does not call his wife by name, this is a sign of a scripted relationship. When the hierarchy of relationships in a family is disrupted, children and adults become disoriented, that is, they do not understand their role. A child in such a situation may come to the following thoughts: “Dad is an adult, but he also calls mom mom. He is my brother?". Thus, for the child, a situation arises when there is no elder in the family, who is looked for on the side.
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When a woman begins to respond in kind, calling her husband “dad,” the relationship becomes distorted and becomes scripted. Although this is done unconsciously, based on the best intentions, in such relationships the spouses cease to see each other as real. False ideas about the partner are formed, forcing one to perceive an illusion rather than a person.
It is important to take the position of an adult. People do not get involved in other people’s problems, solving them for others, that is, they do not act from the position of “parent”. Also, adult judgment does not allow you to complain about others, going through the details of someone else’s personal life, that is, from the position of a “child.”
Why do men call by name?
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Predictions say that the partner has serious intentions, the result of which will be entering into a legal relationship with the chosen one. However, it may also be a matter of ordinary habit, as well as the upbringing of an individual. If a man was raised by parents with a special family structure, the person may not have a living example of affectionate addresses or diminutive nicknames. Moreover, there are families in which discipline is stronger than subordination in the office, when people address each other formally, even as “you.”
The answer is in the male subconscious
From the point of view of psychologists, if a guy does not call his chosen one by name, each time coming up with a new address, this hides a dual meaning. Depending on the type, the following nicknames can be distinguished:
- Animal. They mean either a man’s good-natured character and readiness for broad gestures, or they speak of a superficial attitude.
- Children's. A man perceives a woman as a tender, vulnerable nature, for whom he is ready to be responsible.
- Space. The mention of space terminology signifies the pride a guy feels for his girlfriend.
- Poetic. Cloyingly lofty appeals usually indicate a tendency towards empty chatter, not backed up by action.
- Special. Names that are associated with a specific girl, the features of her appearance, character traits, individual habits are evidence of deep feelings and readiness for a serious relationship.
When a guy shortens or declines when addressing him, using diminutives, this says that he is looking for special emotional intimacy, which is intended to unite only two.
Main reasons
Sometimes, when a husband does not try to call his beloved woman by name, there is a set of standard reasons for this. ·
- Forgetfulness·
- Using other words, nicknames
- Communication without using a name
It happens that direct address to a person using a name is simply not perceived by many people. Why this is so, and what to do in this case, is a separate question. However, when it is possible to understand the reason, it is better to immediately ask your partner. What is perceived by some participants in a relationship as a threat to their stability may not be noticed by others at all.
As a result, there is only one option to get rid of constant attempts to realize oneself as a full-fledged participant in such a situation. If suddenly a man stops calling his companion by name, perhaps he has stopped perceiving her as the object of his eternal love.
Not right away, since from this stage to the final breakdown of the relationship, a whole life can pass. The name is an actual indicator that many people use on a subconscious level.
As soon as a fixed set of letters is pronounced, he immediately brings up a whole set of images in his head. In turn, the image takes years to create. And it differs at different stages of a couple’s formation. And if initially there is a way to process the personality with the help of the other side, then after that there will be no such chance.
How to solve a problem
If a man does not call a woman by name, limiting himself to an impersonal phrase, the first thing you need to do is express your dissatisfaction to him directly. At the same time, the appeal “Listen” or “Look” can be played up with a joke: “Are you telling me? Otherwise people usually call me Tatyana.”
If a guy avoids contacting his beloved because of unpleasant associations associated with the past, you need to give him time. Gradually, the understanding will come that there is another person nearby, and all negative experiences are unfounded.
When a man is convinced that what his parents named his chosen one does not correspond to the location of the stars, it’s a matter of your personal attitude. If anything about the chosen nickname confuses him, tell him that during a conversation you would prefer to hear your name.
If the parents' relationship was built without mentioning names, you need to try to play along with your loved one at first. Over time, you can gradually form a new habit that is more pleasant for you.
The significance of one’s own name originates in a person’s subconscious. It is strongly associated with positive perception and awareness of oneself as an individual. In addition, it is the key that opens the path to harmony in relationships.
What the subconscious hides
In the male subconscious, a lot of information has been stored since childhood or adolescence. For example, if a guy had an unrequited, unhappy love, and the girl’s name was the same as his current wife, then problems may arise with the pronunciation of this name. Of course, many years have passed since that time, the feelings are left behind, the wounds are healed. But the subconscious remembers everything! Many men may avoid their name without even thinking about why this is happening.
It’s stupid to blame your husband, just try to figure out what is the reason for this behavior.
Signs of male jealousy
Latent jealousy is a normal physiological feeling. It is inherent in absolutely every individual. We are jealous of our things, friends, loved ones - what we have or want to have. This is laid down from childhood. When a mother took someone else's baby in her arms, resentment, anger, and envy awoke inside her own child, resulting in whims or hysteria.
- in the presence of potential danger (other men), the jealous man’s pupils dilate strongly and suddenly, his cheeks turn pink, he lacks air, sweating is pronounced, his heart rate increases, the timbre becomes deeper, lower, even frighteningly growling;
- he often reacts negatively and critically to your transformation in appearance;
- the man gets very emotional about your delays at work, being late after school, going to see your family;
- often takes offense, remains silent, trying to make you feel guilty;
- as soon as you get together with your friends or parents about your business, he immediately tries to interrupt your plans, arguing that he wants to spend more time together.
Ignoring these harbingers can lead to the fact that as soon as a man becomes your legal spouse, family life will take a completely different turn.
Jealous husband: what does it look like?
You get the gist - living with a jealous person becomes simply unbearable. When a guy is jealous of his chosen one for everything in the world, his personal life is put to rest. Visits with parents (why else?), girlfriends, and colleagues are prohibited. Forget about corporate parties - all they do there is drink and seduce each other!
Of course, not every man is a pathological jealous person! But a woman should be wary of such “manifestations of concern”! Remember, if today you are beaten with words, the time may come when you will be punished physically!
Honey! I'm your bunny!
According to psychologists, such cute names that men give to their partners may have some meaning, each of them denotes a specific situation.
If they call you “beloved,” it means that the man lacks care and tenderness. He needs a feeling of confidence in you. Prove your love to him more often, take the initiative. Such behavior will be appreciated.
They call it "sunshine"? They are waiting for such radiance and beauty. Don't deceive a man. Try to always look great. Men love with their eyes, and they also love to be proud of the woman who is nearby.
Various “fluffy things”: “bunnies”, “seals” - speak of his gentle nature. Such a man can be easily controlled, he is pliable and is ready to do a lot for your sake.
But when you hear the words “precious”, “my little darling”, you need to be wary. Your partner is interested in you for some selfish purpose. He requires certain benefits from this relationship. Names like “gorgon” and “goat” hide dissatisfaction and also show some superiority of the speaker.
Please note that by adding the pronoun “mine”, a man on a subconscious level is trying to gain rights over you.
Whether you should trust psychologists in such a complex matter as a relationship with a man is up to you to decide. But maybe, by calling you “my bun,” he doesn’t mean excess weight, but the desire for a delicious lunch for himself?
What do affectionate nicknames say?
Often, when a man does not address his woman by name, he uses nicknames, mostly in an affectionate form. However, it is important to know that the chosen word carries some kind of psychological meaning. We will look at the meaning behind some nicknames.
My husband addresses me by name and calls me sunshine, kitten, honey, beloved. At the same time, more pleasant emotions arise for me precisely when he utters affectionate nicknames. Therefore, you need to look in your specific case whether it is worth focusing on the current situation or whether it is normal.
Methods to combat male jealousy
You can deal with male jealousy if you know how to deal with it:
You can only extinguish healthy jealousy, which is not caused by mental disorders. A woman is wise enough, which means she can work miracles in her relationships. If desired, of course. Therefore, psychologists with such problems advise women to sincerely look into their souls and answer the question - do they really want to change what is happening?
Of course, living with a man who is jealous of his woman for everything that happens is incredibly difficult. Firstly, because of his feelings, he himself experiences anxiety, irritation, tension, powerlessness, and secondly, he torments his partner. And what to do is up to the woman herself to decide.
Try together to understand the origins of this green monster that is poisoning your life. Work on your relationships, build them differently, don’t give reasons, change your behavior, talk about this problem with your man more often. But look at the situation - if you are already completely broken and have changed your life beyond recognition, and your partner still continues to suck the energy out of you, think about it - is this the person you want to live with for the rest of your life? Above all, be true to yourself! Take care of yourself! Be happy!
Men want love
The psychology of male love is mysterious and interesting. In this regard, men are fundamentally different from women, who are more emotional by nature and prone to strong expressions of feelings. But at the same time, men want love just as much as women.
A man in love wants to see and feel his chosen one nearby. He is even ready to do reckless things just to please his woman. But this is only one side of the coin.
On the other hand, representatives of the stronger sex do not need constant romance, like women. When the candy-bouquet period comes to an end, most men calm down, believing that they have already achieved a woman and can now rest. Therefore, a certain cooling, which manifests itself in the absence of bright dates and interesting surprises, should not be regarded as a lack of love on the part of a man.
For women, love is inextricably linked with romance. A man wants love no less, but he doesn’t need romance, especially at the end of the working day, when he comes home from work tired.
A woman should never be offended that her partner did not notice a new outfit or did not appreciate a romantic dinner. The fact is that a tired man sees only the directly prepared dishes and the woman herself, and all other details turn out to be inaccessible to him due to daily fatigue and workload.
If a partner does not notice something, this does not mean that he no longer loves his chosen one. He wants love and relationships just as before, it’s just that in a tired state, most men exhibit one peculiarity: they are only interested in food that satisfies hunger, and the woman herself, and there is no time left for all other minor trifles.