What are the symptoms of stress in a child?
Physiological:
- insomnia,
- loss of appetite,
- headaches and dizziness
- enuresis, encopresis, constipation, etc.
Cognitive:
- memory impairment,
- attention,
- regression in development, etc.
Emotional:
- outbursts of aggression,
- irritation,
- fears,
- anxiety,
- depressive components, etc.
If the effect of stress is prolonged, it leads to disruption of the functioning of the psyche and the body as a whole.
And if adults have some skills to cope with stress, then children do not yet have these skills and children cannot even explain what is happening to them.
Therefore, it is paramount to pay attention to the fact that the child is stressed.
Sometimes parents themselves are in a difficult emotional situation and do not notice that the child is already traumatized. They learn about this already when psychosomatics or other disorders appear, such as neurotic or phobic manifestations.
If you notice that your child has experienced stress, communicate with him gently, calmly, and give him the opportunity to speak out.
Since children don't always understand their emotions, help your child identify and respond to them.
Reinforce your child’s emotional support with the following phrases: you are protected, I’m on your side, I’m nearby, I love you, no matter what happens.
It is also important to spend a lot of time with your child during these difficult moments.
Fairy tales and metaphors, games and special exercises are good for relieving and reducing stress.
During times of stress, stabilization is important for a child.
Make a schedule, plan things. You can do this together on a large sheet using crayons and colored pencils. Having a clear structure for your days will help your child calm down a little. Therefore, your daily routine will also be very important.
Don't forget that during times of stress, proper sleep, proper nutrition, walks and a calm atmosphere at home are important .
If you can’t cope with stress on your own, contact a specialist.
It happens that parents themselves have not yet learned how to support themselves under stress, so you can always start learning together with your baby.
Childhood stress
The article was prepared by neurologist d/p No. 6 Sukmanovskaya I.N.
Even children sometimes experience stress that we adults may not always understand.
But it’s harder for children, because they don’t know the reasons for their irritability or apathy, and they don’t know how to deal with their bad mood. And we, adults, are called upon to help them with this.
What is childhood stress and how to deal with it?
CHILDREN'S STRESS is a disruption of a child's usual way of life. The baby has formed the habit of living in a certain way, he is in comfort. By violating or hurting this comfort, we cause a protective reaction of the body in the form of stress, since the child does not have a model of behavior (to adapt, change the situation, etc.).
How can you tell if a child is experiencing stress?
Parents who are passionate about their lives and adult problems sometimes find it difficult to determine that their child is experiencing stress. In addition, sometimes there are some stereotypes that are more likely to apply to us adults.
For example, if a child sits and plays, then everything is fine with him. Or a hooligan passionate about football suddenly began bringing home only A's. While rejoicing and praising the child for the behavior that they like, parents may not even suspect that in fact the child may be very worried.
How to accurately determine whether something alarming is happening to your child:
1. All mothers know how a child behaves if everything is fine. Suddenly you notice the opposite behavior. For example, a usually calm and slow child begins to fuss and rush about aimlessly.
2. Pay attention to physiological manifestations: loss of appetite, sleep disturbances, enuresis, redness or paleness of the skin, the child is silent or screaming or crying, a frightened look, began to stutter, mutter indistinctly, etc.”
In any case, remain calm: perhaps the change in behavior was caused by completely different reasons. The child, for example, simply matured and began to study well (or fell in love with an excellent student and wants to please her) or, on the contrary, the change in behavior was caused by the fact that the child’s stress stopped, but you didn’t even notice it. In short, there is no need to sound the alarm, but it’s still worth playing it safe and talking to your child.
3. Also pay attention to exactly how the symptoms that worry you manifest themselves. For example, separation from mom or dad may well cause tears in a preschooler, but if this behavior is observed later, then there is reason to think about it.
4. Look at what the child draws or how he plays: drawn “war games” can be not only a sign that the child has overplayed computer games, but also a sign of something more serious. For example, a sign that the child is very worried that the parents are constantly fighting.
Causes of childhood stress
The causes of childhood stress change with the child. Thus, a preschooler is most attached to the family and connected with kindergarten, while a schoolchild is more connected with school, so the causes of childhood stress should be looked for where the child’s emotional and physical attachment is greatest.
Please note that the reasons are ranked in order of importance for the child. If you in your family often quarrel with loved ones (even if not in the presence of the child), you don’t need to think that the baby has become silent and extinct due to fear of doctors or frequent watching TV:
- family - the birth of a second child, separation from loved ones, quarrels, divorce of parents, anxious parents, a hysterical type of parent (either affection or aggression);
- disasters, misfortunes, misfortunes - the death of a family member, a sharp and strong change in living conditions;
- social - fear of other people, children, conflicts with them, quarrels, competition with other children;
- fears - instilled by parents, age-related, conscious and unconscious;
- TV, computer - increased emotional stress;
- medical - injuries, pain, fear of doctors, injections, etc.;
- other (potty training the baby, changing the decor in his room, etc..
It also often happens that stress manifests itself in the form of diseases, and the more this stress is not resolved, the more likely the disease will become chronic. Therefore, do not try to cure a child without solving problems in his or your life (after all, children are very worried if something is wrong with their parents, without even understanding what exactly).
Is childhood stress harmful?
If your baby exhibits such signs, do not rush to run to a child psychologist. It’s better to figure out what really is the cause of children’s experiences, and whether it’s worth taking active steps to help the child.
Stress is a disruption of the usual way of life. In small quantities, it is simply necessary to help the child cope with difficulties. But in large quantities it is still harmful to physical and psychological health. Under constant stress, a person develops stable psychological defenses, which subsequently become personality traits.
That is, you need to determine how much your child is suffering, and only then help him. Don’t rush to solve all the problems for him; by doing this, you can even harm the child; in some cases, a normal conversation may be quite enough.
If the cause of stress is serious, and it does not go away for a long time no matter what, then it’s time to take action to solve this problem more actively, even going to the extent of contacting a specialist.
Mistakes parents make in reacting to child stress
Sometimes it happens that parents follow the path of least resistance and react to children's stress in a way that is convenient for them. The consequences of this can be very different - from bad habits to emotional disability and chronic diseases in adulthood.
Most often, parents make 3 mistakes:
1. Leaving the child alone with stress
If a child constantly experiences stress that he is unable to cope with, and the parent does not try to help him, but leaves him alone with his experiences, the risk of anxiety, fear, irritability, and, in extreme cases, depression, neuroses and other mental illnesses increases.
Let us also note that you leave your child alone with stress not only when you silently ignore what is happening, but also when you underestimate the child’s experiences. This is possible when you say that everything is trifles, nonsense, nonsense.
2. Distracting the baby
If parents distract the child with food, TV and telephone, addiction very quickly arises.
3. Dishonesty, deception towards the child
Under stress, a child's suggestibility increases (logic is suppressed), and he is easy to deceive. If your child later realizes that you were dishonest with him, he will lose trust in you. And it will be very difficult to return it.
What should parents do to help their child?
The parent's task is to help the child form such a pattern of behavior in order to return to a state of comfort again, or to return comfort to the child again. In any case, it is important to expand the child’s picture of the world and show him that “this happens,” because everything that happens can be scary for him, since it is unfamiliar.
1. Share your baby’s experiences
Under no circumstances tell him that everything he experiences is nonsense. Get rid of phrases such as: “It’s all nonsense, forget it,” “I found something to worry about...”, “This doesn’t concern you at all, go play...”. Even if the child listened to you, this does not mean at all that it has become easier for him. It’s better to say this: “I understand that you are afraid...”, “I see that you are sad, I understand you,” “You are offended, I know.”
2. Determine why the baby is worried
The best way, of course, is to talk to him. But sometimes, of course, you need the help of a teacher, a school teacher, or you yourself should think about what could have hurt your baby in your life. If the child is silent, offer him options: “Are you worried because...?”, “Are you upset that...?”
3. Explain to your child honestly what is happening.
Often stress is caused (or worsened) by the child not having information about why things have changed or why certain people behave in certain ways.
The incomprehensible can be explained, for example, like this:
- “Dad stopped playing with you in the evenings because he was sick and it was hard for him, and not because he loves you less”;
4. Help your child develop new behavior
During stress, it is also desirable to minimize the child’s current experiences, since it will take time to master new behavior, but the experiences will still remain for some time.
Together with a child (preschool age), it’s good to play out a stressful situation with a good ending. This way you teach your child how to behave in such a situation. A very good stress-relieving effect is achieved through various creative activities. By creating a new image, the child feels like a creator, this increases self-confidence.
Pay attention also to physical activity. With them, tension is relieved and the so-called “joy hormone” is released. And if you also take into account that a child’s brain structures are constantly forming and maturing, and for this they need much more oxygen than adults, then it’s impossible to do without walks and sports.
Stress-free kindergarten
In terms of stress, children under 2 years of age are most vulnerable. And, of course, a long separation from their mother can be a serious stress for them. Therefore, in the first 2 years of life, close contact with the mother and the presence of some kind of protector nearby who will ensure a comfortable existence for the child are very important. The older a child gets, the more easily he perceives changes in the world around him.
As a rule, children aged 2 to 5 years old in most cases face a test: the first visit to kindergarten. Parents must be prepared for stress in their child, which will test the strength of not only his psyche, but also indirectly his body. Moms often experience daycare as a significant relief in their lives. But still, mom shouldn’t go to work right away.
During the first month of being in kindergarten, a child will inevitably experience a heavy load on the nervous system, come home overwhelmed with positive and negative emotions, and will encounter new, previously unknown bacteria or viruses. The mother needs to be there throughout the entire adaptation period to support the baby and help him adapt to kindergarten. Of course, this period lasts differently for different children, so it is better for the mother to postpone going to work for at least a month.
In addition, in order to minimize the negative effects of stress, there must be a smooth, positive psychological climate in the family. Parents should under no circumstances sort things out in front of their child, since quarrels in the family themselves can cause the child to develop a psychosomatic illness.
Before entering kindergarten, the child must have formed basic concepts (“bad”, “good”, etc.), he must have skills of social behavior and be physically ready to attend kindergarten (it is no secret that often children even in children already suffer from chronic diseases at an early age), for which it is necessary to undergo examination and, if necessary, support the child’s health.
Psychosomatics is serious
It is a mistake to consider psychosomatic pathology a far-fetched problem. This category of pathologies includes, for example, attacks of gastric and duodenal ulcers, bronchial asthma, hypertensive crises, neurodermatitis, diabetes mellitus, obesity and many other serious conditions that develop as a result of physiological changes caused by stress.
Children are much more vulnerable to stress than adults, and not only because they have a smaller supply of adaptive energy resources, but also because of the peculiarities of children's perception of the world. They are much more conservative than adults. Due to little life experience, children, especially young children, divide the world not according to the categories of good and evil, bad and good, but according to the principle of “like or dislike.”
Something a child doesn't like can cause him significant stress. Therefore, when a child, for example, goes to kindergarten for the first time or stays with a nanny instead of his mother for the first time, it is very important to maintain for him a feeling of comfort and familiarity.
Signs of stress in children
The first manifestations of stress include increased irritability and moodiness, which usually occur after some change in life. For a very young child, even a change in his usual diet can trigger the development of stress. Children begin to progress more slowly in psychological development.
They do not lag behind their peers, but in some of them, especially preschool children, speech defects may return, for example, their behavior will be characteristic of a slightly earlier age - children try with all their might to avoid discomfort, so they seem to be running into the situation in which which they felt comfortable with.
What causes stress?
Physiological changes in the body
. Stress for this reason is especially common in those girls and boys whose puberty begins earlier than usual. After all, it can be difficult for teenagers to accept a “new body”: a sharp increase in height, the appearance of secondary sexual characteristics, the onset of menstruation and the growth of body hair.
Fat teenager
Overweight children are often embarrassed by their appearance and withdraw into themselves.
Therefore, it is necessary to create special conditions for them in which teenagers can feel the support of loved ones and begin to fight unnecessary kilograms. How to do this correctly, says the chief physician of the Treatment and Rehabilitation Center of the Ministry of Health and Social Development of Russia, Tatyana Shapovalenko. Moral and physical pressure from peers
.
It is during adolescence that cruelty towards peers, the creation of groups and the search for “enemies” most often occurs. Changing of the living place
.
Because of the move, the teenager is forced to part with old friends and be left without communication with peers for some time. Family problems
.
If problems arise in the family - divorce, illness or death of a loved one - the teenager often blames himself for them. Unrequited love
.
Teenagers often perceive their first love as “love for life.” Problems at school
. Excessive demands for academic performance from parents and teachers is also a stressful situation for a teenager.
